NHS Application Essay

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

The minimum is 100 words and its about how you envision yourself at NHS, what you will do when you get there and why you deserve to join. The biggest problem right now is grammar, if theres anything I should add or take out just tell me!

Short Essay (minimum of 100 words and hand-written).
National Honor Society is a service based organization. In a brief essay, provide specific examples of how you would represent National Honor Society as an active and involved member.

I would like to begin by saying thank you for your consideration and the opportunity to further my philanthropic and leadership skills. I am extremely honored to be able to take part in this process and I hope that I will be given the chance to participate in this organization.
Scholarship, leadership, service and good character are all qualities that I personally strive to meet, especially as I continue to grow and develop as an individual. I have diligently been working to better myself in academics and so far my running GPA for my sophomore year is 4.1 and my cumulative GPA is 4.0. I also ranked fourteenth out of the five-hundred twenty seven students in my grade and plan to continue challenging myself in Junior year by taking 3 AP classes. I have participated in a number of academic clubs and am currently competing in National History Day and Science Olympiad. I have often been commended on my respectable performance both inside and outside the classroom because I understand that I am representing more than just myself. As a student, daughter, civil servant and friend I recognize that I have a duty to serve and help others that goes beyond any volunteer program. In my community, I tutor other JHS/JMS students in subjects like Science, History and Spanish. I also taught my mother Algebra and Chemistry in my freshmen year as she was studying to become a nurse after twenty five years of being out of school.
I believe with my experience of living in one other country and three different states, I will be able to bring a lot of new, fresh ideas on how to actively get involved in our community. Reaching everyone in the community and spreading the word about those who need help is extremely important in bringing about a positive change. If I get accepted into the National Honor Society I plan to pursue the position of an officer and strive to reach more people, both inside and outside our community. I would love to be a part of NHS because we share the same ideals and I firmly believe that I will be a valuable addition to this prestigious organization.

2

In some chapters of NHS, the essay/application is a perfunctory nuisance, while at others, they invite twice as many students as they plan on accepting, so the essay/rec letters etc. are critical.

We can’t tell how strict your local chapter might be. Do you know if they routinely reject applicants?

BTW, You sound like a bright, nice young woman who will go far. Good luck to you.

3

It’s a well written essay that sounds like it’s what they are looking for. I would change a couple of things, though.

There’s no need to capitalize the names of subjects (except for Spanish) and you should say freshman year, not freshmen. Freshmen is plural.

Good luck!

4

Replace “philanthropic” with “service.” Philanthropic suggests large donations of money.

I think you can omit this:" I am extremely honored to be able to take part in this process and I hope that I will be given the chance to participate in this organization." Too many sentences devoted to this kind of thing.

Don’t they have this info: “so far my running GPA for my sophomore year is 4.1 and my cumulative GPA is 4.0. I also ranked fourteenth out of the five-hundred twenty seven students in my grade” ? You might come off better just writing that you have been working diligently to better yourself in academics and plan on continuing to challenge yourself in junior year. This depends of course on whether they have your GPA and rank.

Or at least shorten the part about GPA (cite one) and rank (no need to say " out of the 527 students in my grade.") I would think you have met some sort of benchmark for academics and the question is more about character and desire to serve, but I could be wrong.

I would suggest more paragraph breaks, with one on academics and one on service, for instance.

Make the last sentence a separate sentence as a closer that stands out.

Good luck. NHS isn’t really that important so don’t fret about this!

5

Are you a civil servant?

6

First of all…is this all the prompt says? You say " it is about how you envision yourself at NHS, what you will do when you get there and why you deserve to join"…but this prompt is only about what you will do when you join. I assume they get information on your GPA it would make sense not to include it here. If all the applications really says is what is below, then you need to cut out “why do you deserve to join” and concentrate on what you will do when you get there. I suspect this is to weed out people who just want NHS on their resume and who don’t want to do anything.

Short Essay (minimum of 100 words and hand-written).
National Honor Society is a service based organization. In a brief essay, provide specific examples of how you would represent National Honor Society as an active and involved member.

If so, make sure to answer this question.

WHat are some of the activities that your NHS does? Usually they do tutoring…but is there anythign else?

I would like to begin by saying thank you for your consideration and the opportunity to further my philanthropic and leadership skills. I am extremely honored to be able to take part in this process and I hope that I will be given the chance to participate in this organization.
Scholarship, leadership, service and good character are all qualities that I personally strive to meet, especially as I continue to grow and develop as an individual. I have diligently been working to better myself in academics and so far my running GPA for my sophomore year is 4.1 and my cumulative GPA is 4.0. I also ranked fourteenth out of the five-hundred twenty seven students in my grade and plan to continue challenging myself in Junior year by taking 3 AP classes. I have participated in a number of academic clubs and am currently competing in National History Day and Science Olympiad. I have often been commended on my respectable performance both inside and outside the classroom because I understand that I am representing more than just myself. As a student, daughter, civil servant **what civil servant are you? That usually indicates a job/elected position **and friend I recognize that I have a duty to serve and help others that goes beyond any volunteer program. In my community, I tutor other JHS/JMS students in subjects like Science, History and Spanish. I also taught my mother Algebra and Chemistry in my freshmen year as she was studying to become a nurse after twenty five years of being out of school. As a member of NHS, I would continue tutoring students at JHS/JMS.
I believe with my experience of living in one other country and three different states, I will be able to bring a lot of new, fresh ideas on how to actively get involved in our community. ** [Give an example here] ** Reaching everyone in the community and spreading the word about those who need help is extremely important in bringing about a positive change. If I get accepted into the National Honor Society I plan to pursue the position of an officer and strive to reach more people, both inside and outside our community ** How? Reach in what manner for what purpose? what community? ** . I would love be honored to be a part of NHS because we share the same ideals and I firmly believe that I will be a valuable addition to this prestigious organization. ** You are telling, not showing. **

7

Bopper is better at online editing than I am : ) Bopper’s post makes the point exactly.

8

Also think of the reader of this essay…hate to say it, but you sound boring. Are you boring? I don’t think so, because you haved lived many places. Make yourself sound interesting! Use specific examples of things you have done in the past. Make them remember you and want an interesting person like yourself in their group.

This goes for college admissions too.

9

It probably won’t matter too much for this application, but in the future, I would suggest never posting an essay on a forum. If you need someone to review it, use PM. This is important because if a teacher ever decides to check that an essay is plagiarized, plugging it into a plagiarism checker will give it 100% plagiarism because it can be easily found online.

Also, unless NHS is super competitive for whatever reason, you will probably be fine.

10

I included the first paragraph as a show of character and my willingness to learn and grow with the organization. I forgot to mention that I am a 15 year old trying to get into NHS at a high school. The prompt is a bit different from the rubric they have so I probably should have included that too. The rubric basically says not to be modest and include everything no matter what the other application parts say. Also it is reviewed for grammar, showing character, service and leadership. The max amount for this is about 500 words. Thanks for the help!

11

Revised
I would like to begin by saying thank you for your consideration and the opportunity to further my service and leadership skills. I am extremely honored to be able to take part in this process and I hope that I will be given the chance to participate in this organization.
Academic excellence is a key point of focus for me and I have diligently been working to better myself in academics. Through hard work and perseverance my current GPA for my sophomore year is 4.1 and I also ranked 14 out of the 527 students in my graduating class. I hope to continue this practice of academic success by taking 3 AP classes in order to challenge myself in junior year. I have often been commended on my respectable performance both inside and outside the classroom because I understand that I am representing more than just myself. If accepted into NHS, I plan on continuing to participate in academic clubs such as National History Day and Science Olympiad which I am currently competing in.
As a student, daughter, friend and humanitarian, I recognize that I have a duty to serve and help others that goes beyond any volunteer program. In my community, I tutor other JHS/JMS students in subjects like science, history and Spanish. I also taught my mother algebra and chemistry in my freshman year as she was studying to become a nurse after twenty five years of being out of school.
I believe with my experience of living in a different country (Jamaica) and three different states (Missouri, Florida, and Iowa), I will be able to bring a lot of new, fresh ideas on how to actively get involved in our community. Being able to teach everyone, no matter what clique or faction, and spreading the word about those who are in need is extremely important in bringing about a positive change.
If I am selected into the National Honor Society I plan to pursue the position of an officer and will strive to reach more people, both inside and outside our district. I would be honored to be a part of NHS because this organization and I share the same ideals and I firmly believe that I will be a valuable addition to this prestigious organization

12

It’s supposed to be handwritten anyway

13

Here is my first impression after briefly reading it: A little bit of rewording and changes in sentence structure in addition to splitting your essay into a few paragraphs would do the trick.

Can’t provide you with anything else unless I throughly read it (I’m on my phone)

14

They could still type it into a search to look for plagiarism if it needs to be handwritten.

15

What do you think about this?

Thank you for considering me for National Honor Society membership. This is an opportunity to further my service as well as hone my leadership skills. For that reason, I would be extremely honored to participate in this organization.

Throughout high school, academic excellence has been my key point of focus. This is evidenced by my hard work and perseverance: my current grade point average for sophomore year is 4.1. Additionally, I rank 14 out of the 527 students in my graduating class. I will continue diligently working to better myself in the realm of academics by enrolling in a myriad of AP classes in an effort to challenge myself in the upcoming years.

As a student, I understand that I represent more than just myself. I am often commended on my application of what I learn inside of the classroom. For example, I am currently participating in National History Day and the Science Olympiad. If accepted into NHS, I will continue to participate in academic clubs such as those.

Other than a student, I am also a daughter, friend, and humanitarian. Thus, I recognize that I have a duty to serve and help others. For many, this means participating in conventional volunteer programs. But I go beyond that. In my community, I have taken the initiative of tutoring other JHS/JMS students in various academic subjects. When my mother was studying to become a nurse after twenty-five years out of school during my freshman year, I taught her algebra and chemistry. I strive to continue applying my academic excellence in service in the future.

As someone who has lived in three states (Missouri, Florida, and Iowa) as well as a different country (Jamaica), I will be able to share ideas on how to increase community involvement that is different from the mainstream. Being able to teach anyone, regardless of background, and spreading the word about those who are in need is extremely important in bringing about a positive change. As a member, I would [give example here please]

Finally, if selected into the National Honor Society, I would pursue the leadership position of officer. This would not only expand my reach to peers both inside and outside our district but give me the experience of being a disciplined leader.

I would be honored to be a part of NHS. This organization and I share the same ideals, and I firmly believe that I will be a valuable addition to this prestigious organization

[I didn’t edit the conclusion but there are many potential things you could say that would give a more lasting impression. Maybe something like, "this organization and I share the same ideals. it would offer me the environment to further my interests, I will be a valuable addition… you can be more eloquent than me on this one]

16

THAT IS AMAZING AND THE MOST HELP IVE HAD ALL DAY THANK YOU SO MUCH
I’ll maybe try to reword it a bit though, you know to make it more original… but wow thank you so much I love it

17

The minimum is 100 words and its about how you envision yourself at NHS, what you will do when you get there and why you deserve to join. The biggest problem right now is grammar, if theres anything I should add or take out just tell me!

Short Essay (minimum of 100 words and hand-written).
National Honor Society is a service based organization. In a brief essay, provide specific examples of how you would represent National Honor Society as an active and involved member.

I would like to begin by saying thank you for your consideration and the opportunity to further my philanthropic and leadership skills. I am extremely honored to be able to take part in this process and I hope that I will be given the chance to participate in this organization.
Scholarship, leadership, service and good character are all qualities that I personally strive to meet, especially as I continue to grow and develop as an individual. I have diligently been working to better myself in academics and so far my running GPA for my sophomore year is 4.1 and my cumulative GPA is 4.0. I also ranked fourteenth out of the five-hundred twenty seven students in my grade and plan to continue challenging myself in Junior year by taking 3 AP classes. I have participated in a number of academic clubs and am currently competing in National History Day and Science Olympiad. I have often been commended on my respectable performance both inside and outside the classroom because I understand that I am representing more than just myself. As a student, daughter, civil servant and friend I recognize that I have a duty to serve and help others that goes beyond any volunteer program. In my community, I tutor other JHS/JMS students in subjects like Science, History and Spanish. I also taught my mother Algebra and Chemistry in my freshmen year as she was studying to become a nurse after twenty five years of being out of school.
I believe with my experience of living in one other country and three different states, I will be able to bring a lot of new, fresh ideas on how to actively get involved in our community. Reaching everyone in the community and spreading the word about those who need help is extremely important in bringing about a positive change. If I get accepted into the National Honor Society I plan to pursue the position of an officer and strive to reach more people, both inside and outside our community. I would love to be a part of NHS because we share the same ideals and I firmly believe that I will be a valuable addition to this prestigious organization.