Hi, I was wondering if anyone can read my essay and critique it. It would be very helpful to me, thanks
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
I’d end up throwing it away. Rewriting three times over to be piled up in the garbage. Whether it’d be a lack of honesty or a different interpretation by the reader, the essay never seemed to read what I wanted it to say and would be against what the question asked. My response to prompt five would not work.
The prompt asked to Discuss an event which led to my transition into
adulthood. It seemed too good to be true. I thought it would be exactly what I’d want them to read about me. With most of the outline in my head, I started to write. I would explain how society’s ills helped me develop into a more mature person with a better perception of time and greater responsibility with acknowledgement for the future.
I wrote of my parents divorce, explaining the difficulties being raised in a household with a lot of yelling and little mutual agreement. I feared becoming an adult from seeing my parents act this way and so Adulthood wasn’t something To look forward to growing up.That was the truth, but hesitant to write such a thing, I wrote of the joys and eagerness of my younger self to grow up. There was a lack of honesty. A sense of failure to express truthful thoughts I was holding back. As I finished writing the paper, there needed to be a solution to the problem. I began to rewrite it hoping to change something. I would repeat this three times only to have an essay with little change made. The paper I’ve overestimated myself on was now a failing idea. I was disappointed and bitter at my inability to respond to the prompt. What I was convinced of writing about, ended in a crumpled ball of paper. The Next day I’d login to my common application account pondering on what to do. Looking at the discussion questions, there was one which asked to discuss a time I’ve experienced failure. Feeling that I’ve accomplished to do that, I chose to write of my failure to express what I truly thought about transitioning into adulthood. It is how I haven’t fully grown up in a certain aspect.
I wouldn’t want the reader to infer I’m childlike, but rather that being an adult is exciting when lived by how your adolescence saw yourself as in the future. some kids say they would like to become a pilot or police officer as adults, and grow up to do so. I’ve always wanted to become a graphic designer. I’ve grown, matured, and developed an independence but my desire in graphic design has been an element of my childhood, that I passed on to adulthood and so I don’t believe I’ve fully grown up in that aspect. My failure to express the thoughts in prompt five that I held back helped me to heed the lessons learned and eliminate the overestimation I had. Failure is good at proving many things wrong but also a teaching mechanism for the improvements to come.