<p>Whenever I face a challenging situation in my life, I try to figure out the lesson in it for me. I recently didn’t get a job that I thought I should have gotten, and was really upset. But now something else has happened that put it all in perspective, so maybe it was the best thing to happen to me. So, now I am becoming much more mellow about it.</p>
<p>I too run into HYSP graduates who were not doing well - one who recently asked my career advice (me- who went to a state school). I work at a major corporation with graduates of top schools and graduates of not so great schools- some of each do well and some don’t. One colleague is so focussed on that she graduated from a top school and others are passing her that it gets in the way of her work and is fact why she is getting passed over.</p>
<p>So in deducting what you have said, you are a female who has had a rough year, who applied to one Ivy, is above average in intelligence, who goes to a large public high school, was considered “of above average intelligence” amongst her own immediate group until she was compared to a national group of her peers, had little interaction with your guidance dept. probably didn’t get the best guidance/college advice…so I would say you probably represent a good majority of the high school students in this country in that case. </p>
<p>MOST students do not get top notch guidance advice, MOST do not apply to top tier colleges, MOST do not do well on their standardized tests, MANY have a slightly distorted sense of where they stand until they see where they stand in a national pool, (as its impossible to see just what the competition is until you are in the thick of it) and I can almost assure you smooth sailing is not par for the course in MOST households. So though it might not offer much comfort…you have lots of company. </p>
<p>You might feel very normal or very average right now…but whose to say you are always going to be less that extraordinary? I used my sisters story as a perfect example. She was always well below the radar UNTIL she decided she had it within her to change things and finally picked up her game, got herself into Columbia (not that she had to go to Columbia to make things happen-it just happened to be her own personal goal) and is now changing lives. She runs a thriving orthodontist practice and volunteers with doctors without borders. NOW she is far beyond average and normal…though for many many years she felt well below normal.</p>
<p>So point is…there is no time table that says you have to be extraordinary all of your life, or average all of your life;everyone has it within to change their destiny. I think its time to start getting proactive and see what you can do to change things. Only YOU have the power to make this happen. Perhaps attend the school that you HAVE gotten into that best fits you NOW, work to your best ability, keep your eye on the ball, look to transfer to your “dream school”, and see where that takes you. Its the journey that gets you there, not the destination. You will learn that as you begin, and no words of wisdom can possibly help you understand this until you have begun to take it. Best of luck to you :)</p>
<p>If you are looking for insight into average people, I’ll recommend a book I read in a college sociology class “Worlds of Pain” (Lillian Rubin). It is a better insight into what “average” truly is in American culture.</p>
<p>I’m only a junior, so I haven’t started the application process yet, but honestly, I’ve been rejected from every application-based program I’ve ever applied to. I was rejected from 3 jobs. I was rejected from an honors level combined history and english program at my school. I was rejected from the peer counselors program at my school. I was rejected from an internship at my local hospital. I was rejected from a job as a camp counselor at my local pool. I was rejected to VOLUNTEER at the hospital. It’s tough, but rejection is a part of life. Try to see the bright side of everything, because believe it or not, there is one.</p>
<p>So what if you didn’t get into any top tier colleges? Another school might save you and your family a significant amount of money and put you at less debt coming out of college. A lower tier college may actually have a better program in your preferred major than the top tier college. </p>
<p>I feel bad for you and I know you must be feeling awful, but remember, it’s not the end of the world. Life goes on</p>
<p>Truth is, the people at all of the schools you were rejected by are average as well. Don’t believe otherwise simply because they got in and you didn’t. Hopefully you’ll realize that the events that lead up to this were out of your control.</p>
<p>By the way, take this as a lesson in humility as well. Basing your self esteem on your perception of how intelligent you are is not good.</p>
<p>It you look closely there are a lot, and I mean a lot of very talented students with 2300+ SAT scores and perfect GPA’s in college prep programs who have a plethora of EC’s with substance who have chosen to attend a public school because of the current economic climate. Many state schools are offering top scholarships to top students and are filling up their honor’s programs with these kids. Many professors at state schools have Ivy league educations. Basically, if you have a determined talented kid they will succeed in spite of not attending an ivy league or sub-ivy league school.</p>
<p>I still can not understand why so many think that the only way a student will be surrounded by intellectuals and be successful is by attending an ivy-(or ivy-like) school. Even with all of the studies that show success stories from universities all over the country and with success stories of public educated individuals in our own neighborhoods so many still cling to the myth that the ivy league is the only way to go. Are we really that shallow? It has always and will always depend on the individual.</p>
<p>OP, I think you’ll have a much better life if you can make an admittedly drastic shift in the way you look at the world. How do you define “lasting value”? That isn’t a rhetorical question; you don’t have to answer me but I think you do have to answer it for yourself. Useful work and meaningful human relationships have nothing to do with name brand educations but they make your time on earth worth the trouble. If you feel you were only valued for your “intelligence”, try to let go of this instead of seeing others through the same lens. You’re much more likely to be happy (and to accomplish something constructive) if you cultivate some empathy and sense of humor and sense of perspective, and interest in other people, including the ones you think of as “average”. Don’t be defensive or self-pitying - your tone has a lot of “I’m always the victim”, even if that isn’t what you meant. And please don’t start college with the attitude that you’re stuck in a relative dump with inferior people. If you can’t get over that by September, it might be better to do something else for a year, preferably something where your current definitions of value and success are completely irrelevant.</p>
<p>I think a lot of high school seniors have this weird notion that people who go to name-brand / elite schools always wind up doing Really Meaningful and Important things. Guess what? The majority of people who go to Harvard – just like the majority of people who go to Average State Flagship – just get up in the morning, go to work, do good but not outstanding work (they aren’t curing cancer), come home, make dinner, play with their kids, fall asleep, and get up the next morning and do the same thing all over again. And you know something? That’s ok. That’s fine. It may be “average.” So what? A life well lived isn’t based on how good your education is.</p>
<p>Worth repeating: “A life well lived isn’t based on how good your education is.”</p>
<p>Worth remembering: "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson</p>
<p>Your generation was raised under the “I am Somebody” mantra. Whether or not you have achieved anything didn’t matter. So I am asking you, OP, have you indeed achieved anything interesting? Aside from people telling you you are intelligent (a big yawn, in my opinion) have you done anything you feel especially proud of? If not, go work on something in the next 4 years at one of the schools that accepted you. Contribute something. Distinguish yourself. Believe me, how smart you and the name of the college you go to are isn’t nearly as impressive as you think.</p>
<p>In response to proud-mom — It could be suggested that at safety-U, the honors student on scholarship has MORE opportunities, because he or she stands out from the crowd, wows the professor, and gets the opportunities. That’s been my DS’s experience at his safety, where his knowledge has one particular professor recruiting him to be involved in research. It is always nice to be wanted, and to have opportunities to collaborate…</p>
<p>Hmmm…that article you shared, cartesianpopcorn, is 5 years old. Is the trend still the same, especially given the current state of the economy? Or given the increase in competition for work these days does an Ivy League background add a real advantage?</p>
<p>Something that I have noticed is that smart people realize just how dumb they are, and idiots think they are geniuses.</p>
<p>So, for what it is worth (and it is worth essentially nothing), in my book you seem like a good candidate for being a pretty smart woman. As for your intelligence being nothing special, thank goodness you think like that. There is nothing that annoys me more than someone who thinks they are God’s intellectual gift to mankind.</p>
<p>Also, even if you were admitted to a top school your intelligence would still be nothing special. At least at Stanford, essentially no one acts like they are smarter than everyone else because no one here is smarter than everyone else. Unlike the picture that IQ tests try to present, intelligence is an amorphous thing that has shades of gray and is really indiscernible at a certain point. Even if you have a high GPA in a difficult major at an elite school, your intelligence is still nothing special, there are still plenty of people out there who are just as good at school as you. You would be having the same issue even if you were accepted.</p>
<p>Something you need to realize fast is that by itself, intelligence does not make you happy. That is where family and friends come in. Unlike admissions committees, employers and the rest of the world; they are the only people in the world who like you for who you are, not what you can do.</p>
<p>anothermom3: I agree and I hope my daughter will impress someone enough to get involved in research like your son has. I have strongly suggested that she take advantage of her scholarship by offering to volunteer to help a professor who is doing some type of research she finds interesting. I figure that even if she just runs coffee errands for awhile she will create the opportunity to prove herself worthwhile of being asked to assist in research. She is so fortunate that her scholarship enables her to volunteer her time instead of having to work to pay off college debts. All of the times in high school that she choice to not go out with her friends but instead stay home and get her school work done has paid off.</p>