Can't help but feel defeated...

Applying to College
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<p>So I guess I should preface this post by saying that I've read all those post-rejection motivational threads full of people trying to explain why they were rejected. Inevitably, people say things like: "there were so many applicants this year!", "oh well, I didn't interview anyway", or "it's all so random". While I understand that there may be some merit to those statements, I would like to recognize them for what they are (excuses) and move on. I'd also like to add that receiving rejection letters didn't suddenly reduce me from a hyper-confident adolescent to a blubbering nothing. And, finally, I do understand that my definition of self shouldn't be derived wholly from other people's opinions. That said, this entire process has led me to think about a few things...</p>

<p>The problem, stated briefly, is this: if I (or anyone who received tons of rejection letters) were actually intelligent or possessed any kind of merit at all as an individual, wouldn't I have gotten into at least one highly ranked school? I understand that the competition is always fierce. Like I said, I already KNOW that there were record numbers of applicants at tons of schools this year. But to be rejected everywhere... it means I lack something as an applicant (and, by extension, as a person). Intelligence, maybe. Or a personality. Something. I imagine that after doing this for several years, adcom members are extremely discerning. Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that, but I sort of doubt it.</p>

<p>I have trouble feeling "encouraged" when I read threads in which people talk about how getting into an Ivy (or some other top-tier school) isn't everything. If one doesn't get into ANY of the top-tier schools they applied to, doesn't it follow logically that that person is a pretty average individual? Instead of going to a "distinguished" school, s/he goes to an "average" school. Is there anything worse than being "average"? Lacking distinction in every way? I don't think so.</p>

<p>I know my generation has been lied to since birth about how special and different it is. But where do you go after learning that you're average? What happens to an average person? If a person just keeps having doors shut in her face, where is she ever supposed to go? How will she ever thrive? How will she ever have an opportunity to contribute anything - even just an idea - to the world, if everyone thinks she's stupid or, worse, "average"?</p>

<p>And if I am just one of those average people who exists for the sole purpose of making the "Ivy-capable" crowd appear "Ivy-capable" (and so on, for the rest of my life), then why even bother?</p>

<p>Average people do always have to exist, I suppose...</p>

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<p>If you judge your merit as a person by your intelligence, then you have way bigger problems than college rejections.</p>

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<p>" If one doesn’t get into ANY of the top-tier schools they applied to, doesn’t it follow logically that that person is a pretty average individual"</p>

<p>No, because average students don’t apply to top schools. Average students are applying to community colleges and 3rd tier colleges at best.</p>

<p>You have to be far above average to be throwing your hat into the ring for a top college.</p>

<p>Most average people would be impressed to hear that you were rejected by a top college because average people know that they themselves wouldn’t even dare apply to a top college.</p>

<p>Think about it: The average scores of college-bound seniors on the SAT is are about 1550 total. That’s not average scores of average seniors. It’s only scores of seniors who are hoping to not only go to college, but also to go to a college that requires the SAT.</p>

<p>Average students your age probably have SAT scores of about 1200 total. Even the students with 1550 or so scores have higher scores than average high school students because the 1550 students are college bound.</p>

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<p>You don’t actually have to be a good student to apply to a top-tier college. So no… having applied doesn’t necessarily make you “above average”. Anyone can apply…</p>

<p>And Baelor, what should determine “individual merit”? I would assume that intelligence should be a part of it, no? A significant part, I’d say.</p>

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<p>From [I&lt;/a&gt; Just Wanna Be Average](<a href=“http://www.dt.uh.edu/academic/colleges/humanities/english/documents/farris06.pdf]I”>www.dt.uh.edu/academic/colleges/humanities/english/documents/farris06.pdf) by Mike Rose</p>

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<p>Don’t think you’re average when you’re not.</p>

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<p>Not at all – the most intelligent person can still lack any sense of merit in the sense that is what you do is not contributing to society.</p>

<p>You are assuming Ivy League admissions are judging on a particular criterion, when I don’t think they are. This leads to the feeling that you are describing, because you are applying a framework that doesn’t work.</p>

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<p>Not a single criterion. But Ivies let in “the best and the brightest”. And even if they don’t actually do that in practice, that’s the idea. So Ivy grads are automatically at an advantage when it comes to accomplishing anything of the academic variety after college.</p>

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<p>“You don’t actually have to be a good student to apply to a top-tier college. So no… having applied doesn’t necessarily make you “above average”. Anyone can apply…”</p>

<p>Sure, anybody can apply, but do you think that GCs and teachers are going to make themselves look foolish by letting average students apply to top colleges? Do you think parents would waste their money like that?</p>

<p>How many truly average students – say with 1500 SAT scores and 2.0 unweighted gpas have you seen apply to top colleges? I’ve interviewed for Harvard and have never met any such applicant. Even the students that would be considered below average for the Harvard pool are far above average when it comes to college-bound college students.</p>

<p>“So Ivy grads are automatically at an advantage when it comes to accomplishing anything of the academic variety after college.”</p>

<p>Read this:</p>

<p>"Liberal arts schools dominate the list of the top 10 institutions that produce the most students who ultimately earn doctorates. Per capita, liberal arts colleges produce twice as many student who earn a PhD in science than other institutions. "</p>

<p><a href=“MoneyWatch: Financial news, world finance and market news, your money, product recalls updated daily - CBS News”>MoneyWatch: Financial news, world finance and market news, your money, product recalls updated daily - CBS News;

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<p>First of all, do you truly believe that every one of those people accepted to a high ranked college is so much more intelligent than an “average” person who goes to a second tier/ state college? Your problem is that you are taking these college rejections Wayyyyyyy too personally, when it really is a crapshoot. I’m fairly sure you’re referring to HYMPS, which means that there were people with more ECs/ better essays/ and better LORs than you. It’s hard to accept, but it just wasn’t meant to be. </p>

<p>Another thing, how does going to an “average” ( how are you even categorizing schools? by prestige? academics?) school, automatically make you “average”? You said that you’ve read all the “post-rejection motivational threads” which means you probably came across this </p>

<p>[When</a> Success Follows the College Rejection Letter - WSJ.com](<a href=“http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704211704575139891390595962.html?mod=yhoofront]When”>http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704211704575139891390595962.html?mod=yhoofront)</p>

<p>Granted many of these people went to Columbia/ Brown instead of Harvard, but it just shows that just because you didn’t go to your top/dream school doesn’t mean your life ends and you aren’t good enough. I get it, you feel inadequate, like you wasted your time studying, like you won’t amount to anything. But those are just initial feelings that will subside once you start thinking clearly. The logic in your post doesn’t make any sense, but I just wish you luck when you attend your “average” school. You have a choice: either continue lamenting your fate and feeling sorry for yourself or pick yourself up and continue with the motivation and drive that propelled you to work hard during high school.</p>

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<p>Maybe I’m the outlier here, but I don’t have a guidance counselor, and my parents and teachers definitely didn’t care at all about where I chose to apply.</p>

<p>And it seems to me that in the realm of college admissions, “above average” is the new “average”. Because now they want you to be “excellent”, not “above average”. And so on.</p>

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<p>Also, Collegestress. I don’t believe in “meant to be”. I hate writing things off that way. That’s the worst explanation anyone could ever offer for anything. I believe in concrete things. Not meant-to-bes.</p>

<p>And I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel angry at myself for being stupid and somehow incapable of fixing it.</p>

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<p>Average students think that University of Georgia and Yale are of equal high rank.</p>

<p>Average students don’t even think about applying to Harvard, Princeton or Yale or similar schools. Average students are doing well to know about their flagship public schools.</p>

<p>And most students in this country have guidance counselors.</p>

<p>If you want to keep crying in your soup and blaming yourself and feeling stupid, go ahead. But any minimum of research would prove to you that the Ivies and similar schools don’t have a lock on brilliance nor are people who go elsewhere to college destined to be unsuccessful malcontents.</p>

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<p>If you want to judge yourself by your academic accomplishments, be my guest. What I’m saying is that being an ethical person is infinitely more important, and getting into an Ivy League is not a reflection of that. Attending an Ivy League will not help you become that.</p>

<p>Reexamine your priorities and move on. What your rejection means is irrelevant now, because it’s over. If you do not get over it within a month (or whatever time frame you think is appropriate), nothing anyone says now or will ever say will be able to help you. So move forward and get a grip.</p>

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<p>You say that you hate excuses, but honestly when you reach a certain SAT/GPA threshold, it becomes speculation as to why one person was admitted and another wasn’t. There is absolutely no guarantee to a top ranked school with an admission rate of <10%. What would you have seriously done differently, if you had known more about the college process? Can you say with 100% certainty that if you had changed your application, you would have gotten in? At this point, I don’t know what you’re trying to fix. What’s done is done</p>

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<p>it is what it was, and that was you didn’t get in</p>

<p>you’ll survive</p>

<p>which schools did you get accepted to?</p>

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<p>I don’t really think it’s relevant to list them here.</p>

<p>No “good” ones.</p>

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<p>" But Ivies let in “the best and the brightest”. "</p>

<p>Not true. Ivies will bypass a person with higher stats for a person who the adcoms believe will add more to create an active student body with all sorts of diversity including diversity of extracurriculars, religion, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, political orientation, etc.</p>

<p>Ivies and other top U.S. schools don’t operate as do many universities in other countries which select student strictly based on their scores on national exams. Universities abroad care about test scores, not extracurriculars, etc.</p>

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<p>Go to one of them and do well.</p>

<p>If you have not mastered the art of time travel, then there is nothing else you can do. </p>

<p>It is time to get over yourself. Nothing any one of us will say will change your mind. So stop looking for something only you can give yourself – closure.</p>

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<p>If I think I’m completely stupid, how am I not “over myself”?</p>

<p>I basically just feel that if I’m living in a world where I just keep having doors shut in my face - even doors that should theoretically be easy to open (not necessarily applicable to this scenario) - then I don’t know how I’m supposed to ever do anything “right”.</p>

<p>I actually feel very confused and vulnerable. I’m not looking for people to disagree with me and say “you’re not average”, because for all you know, I am… </p>

<p>I have considered taking a gap year and reapplying to schools and maybe applying to some new ones… bad idea?</p>

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<p>why would you do that.
just go to one of the schools you applied to and get good grades and try to transfer into an ivy</p>