Can't help but feel defeated...

Applying to College
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<p>“Something that I have noticed is that smart people realize just how dumb they are, and idiots think they are geniuses.”</p>

<p>I’ve seen that, too. Some of the smartest and most talented people I know think very little of their brains and talents because they realize there’s so much that they don’t know and can’t do.</p>

<p>Some of the dullest and least talented people whom I know think they are far brighter and more skilled than they are.</p>

<p>I think it takes a lot of brains to recognize one’s own shortcomings.</p>

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<p>“The majority of people who go to Harvard just get up in the morning, go to work, do good but not outstanding work (they aren’t curing cancer), come home, make dinner”</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, have you been stalking me?</p>

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<p>Hi. I’ve never posted anything in response to the people on cc before. Just, because I feel like even though I can make decent contributions they’ll be discounted because my grades aren’t amazing and I’m going to apply to an Ivy just so I know that I didn’t set my sights too low. But, I know this is coming from the mouth of me, someone average. But, don’t let them get you down. Really. I find this website to be the most discouraging place. It has given me nightmares. Just because you don’t get into the college you want to does not mean that your life sucks. Really, it is just school. You need to gain a little bit of perspective. School is just the first part. After you get it out of the way you can cure cancer, or perfect the jet-pack, or write the best novel of the century, or paint the next Mona Lisa, or whatever.</p>

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<p>Okay, seeing as I don’t have the energy to read through the eleven pages on this thread,I apologize in advance if anything I say is redundant…</p>

<p>Anyway, what people often fail to realize, is that in this age where everyone feels this compulsion to go to the school whose name is nicest on a sweatshirt, its really not about where you go, but what you do with it. Whether you’re at an Ivy, a state school, or a community college, ultimately, what makes for success is the amount of time and energy you put into your studies, and how hard you are willing to work in order to achieve success. Really…studies (I’d cite the study if I had it on me, but it was presented to me by my History teacher, so I don’t have the link this sec) have shown that over time, what impacts income (if that’s how you choose to measure success) isn’t necessarily intelligence, but one’s drive and desire to succeed. If you give up the first time you hit a road block you’re really doomed for failure.</p>

<p>Not to mention, realize that there is no such thing as a “bad” college. You seem to judge the quality of an education on prestige, which is, without a doubt, a very superficial way to look at a school. The only reason a school is prestigious is that a ton of people apply to it. But wherever you go, (even if its a no-name, “third tier” school), you’ll have some wonderful professors, and ultimately challenging classes.</p>

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<p>I have said this before, and I repeat this again. You have to view your high-school life as a four year contest to get into the best college. Simple as that.</p>

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<p>Another thing that you have to realize is that there are, and there will always be, amazing students at lower tier colleges because of money. There are all kinds of families that can’t afford $50,000 + a year, out of pocket. If the family has a nice, comfortable but not huge income, no need based aid will be forthcoming. A friend of my son’s had as decent a shot as anyone at an Ivy, but instead of applying, he took a totally free ride at a different locally respected private university.</p>

<p>Go to any low priced state school, go to any commuter college,and you will find brilliant people who just might change the world. They are at that school because it is what they or their parents can afford.</p>

<p>Of the two smartest people in my law firm, one went to Harvard and the other went to a lowly ranked state U in his home town. </p>

<p>Just sayin, don’t think you will be going to school with the dregs of the universe if you don’t attend an Ivy.</p>

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<p>Problem: You applied to one Ivy only and you were not accepted.</p>

<p>Action Plan:

  • Have you call some of the Admission Offices of other colleges to see if you can still apply?
  • Did you apply to any other college and were accepted?
  • Have you started gathering information to transfer in “spring” to other colleges?</p>

<p>Any other positive suggestions (Action plan) for the OP, please?</p>

<p>OP: Discuss your future plans…</p>

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<p>Greenery, my plan is, and has been since I made this post, to go to one of the schools that accepted me.</p>

<p>I never planned not to do this…</p>

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<p>I have nothing constructive to add to all of this, but I saw the user name of the OP:</p>

<p>OMG I LOVE OF MONTREAL. SCREW THE IVY LEAGUE/WHATEVER SELECTIVE COLLEGE, YOU ARE CLEARLY HAVE SOUL POWER BECAUSE YOU LISTEN TO OF MONTREAL.</p>

<p>Their concerts have been the most amazing experiences of my life. :3</p>

<p>edit: after reading part of this thread I revise my statements: You sound whiny and entitled as hell. Go find yourself some soul power.</p>

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<p>After reading 10 pages of this thread, i think i’ve gotten a pretty good understanding of what’s going on here. </p>

<p>SkeletalLamping–I would say i totally understand how you feel coz i’m pretty much in the exact same situation as you. I applied to only one safety and a couple of top schools(not all of them are extremely competitive Ivies like Harvard). However, it turned out that i only got accepted to my safety school, which is a 2nd-tier public school in my state.( i think it’s ranked in the 40s overall in the nation) Being rejected from every single top school i applied to, i can’t help but feel completely defeated and dumb. What’s worse with me is, i have parents(especially my mom) who honestly expected me to go to Harvard whereas your parents don’t really care where you go or apply(i remember reading it somewhere…forgive me if my memory’s incorrect). And my mom literally called me “a big failure” who can’t do anything but disappoint her family when i told her about my rejections for all those schools on the phone. You can certainly imagine how depressed i felt at that moment. </p>

<p>I totally understand that your feeling right now isn’t “childish”. Rather, it’s a kind of hopelessness and frustration after seeing too many doors shut right in your face. I can feel your frustration when the fact of you seeking help and releasing your anxiety is seen as “whiny” or “childish”. But there’s something you have to understand, or at least try to, many of the people talking in this thread probably have never had the same thing happen to them, so it’s certainly hard for them to feel exactly how you’re feeling right now. They don’t mean to go against you or anything. They’re trying to help you out and get you think about the positive side of life. </p>

<p>It’s true that getting into Harvard or Standford is a recognition of one’s intelligence and competence. But is getting rejected from such colleges an absolute sign of your future failure? Definitely no. You’ve only gone through 1/4 of your life. Are you gonna let the rejections for those colleges define what the rest 3/4 will be like? I think someone as highly ambitious as you will for sure prevent this from happening. </p>

<p>I know most people on CC would probably argue against you on how to define an “average” student or being. Don’t care that much about how much other people’s opinions differ from yours because all of you guys are guys regarding this issue. There are many things of which people have diverse definitions, what an average student should be like, what really defines one’s personal sucess, etc. You can’t really convince everyone to think the same way you do while they can’t really change your mind either. If you think getting into an Ivy school will be part of your sucess, then go for it. There’s nothing wrong with such ideology. However, you do need to do something to get over this emotional collapse so that you can move on with your life and continue to pursue your dream. </p>

<p>Here are a few things for you to think about:

  1. Accept the fact that you are “average”, and just go to the school you get accepted to and live the rest of your life in the shadow of “no-door-would-ever-open-for-you”.(i don’t think you would choose this cause i can tell what type of person you are =D)
  2. Accept the fact that you got rejected from all the top schools, realizing there are a lot more people in this world who are better than you and in order to be recognized by your dream school, you need to work harder.
  3. Set a reasonable standard of being successful for yourself in terms of your own ablitiy and strength. Be honest to yourself, do you really think you totally have the ability to go to Harvard but you didn’t get in only because of certain reasons? There’s something you’ve got to keep in mind as you think thoroughly. Only a small portion of the entire population in this world have the natural talent or competence to go to top schools such as Harvard. There’re people who can never meet the Harvard standards no matter how hard they work. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t be sucessful coz it’s totally not true, but for them, going to Harvard is just something that’s never possible.
  4. After thinking about what you really need to achieve your personal sucess,(going to an Ivy school or just a second-tier public state school?) make a plan of what you’re going to do in order to reach your goal. What are you gonna do from now on to prepare for that? In which aspects do you need to improve yourself?</p>

<p>If you’re outstanding, you will be recognized sooner or later. I know how you feel right now coz i have pretty much the same feeling. But there’s nothing you can do about the college decisions. What’s done is the past. Let’s look forward! You know what, you’ll get what you deserve one day. =D</p>

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<p>and forgive me for all the typos in my reply…ahhh that was a super long text and apparently i didn’t identify all the errors…</p>

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<p>Lollipop, what your mother said to you was terrible, and if you’ve grown up with these parental attitudes, it’s all the more admirable that you can maintain a positive outlook. But, regarding
“many of the people talking in this thread probably have never had the same thing happen to them” - I notice many of the responses are from middle-aged specimens like me, and I’m sure most of us have been through serious and life-altering disappointments, to say nothing of tragedies. With the benefit of hindsight, we may have a better idea of what has really mattered in the long run. On that same note, re “You can’t really convince everyone to think the same way you do while they can’t really change your mind either.” - there’s a long way between staying true to yourself and closing your mind so you can’t respond thoughtfully to the perspective or experience of others. None of us at any age should be unable to change our minds. Especially age 18!
As you’ve probably noticed, I don’t know how to make those “quote” boxes.
Good luck to you, and if you ever have kids, try to use the experience of your own upbringing to pass on the good and avoid the destructive.</p>

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<p>"“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”
–Mary Pickford</p>

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<p>" You have to view your high-school life as a four year contest to get into the best college. Simple as that."</p>

<p>That’s a sad and narrow way to view such an expansive experience. Life is about far more than what college you get into.</p>

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<p>co-sign NSM…“fall down a thousand times, get up a thousand and one.”</p>

<p>Every ending is just a new start on another path. In a different thread someone titled thier comment “Time to find a new dream.”</p>

<p>Good luck. You’ll be just fine.</p>

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<p>I feel sorry for young people who feel as if they need to spend high school doing everything possible to get into an ivy school. I would rather see a child work hard in school for the sake of learning, be deeply involved in EC’s that are positive for them and opens their eyes to others and use the four high school years, that they will never get back, forging friendships, making memories and learning about themselves. If that isn’t enough for an ivy, so what.</p>

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<p>Things that I have learnt from the admissions process:</p>

<p>1) It’s not fair. It really isn’t. I’m going to sound bitter while I type this, but I believe that I am fully entitled to. A classmate with an SAT score 260 points lower than mine, grades that have never measured up to mine and essays that are far below par (I read them post-application - riddled with grammatical errors and an atrocious lexicon) just got into Harvard and Columbia, while I was rejected by all four of the Ivies that I applied to, including those two. Why? Because he’s Israeli and can dribble a ball around a court rather well. He knows it, I know it. </p>

<p>2) Not everyone who gets into these top schools a) is a genius, or b) entirely deserves it. Please refer to the above.</p>

<p>3) The world views Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, MIT etc. in a different way than they view the rest. Please don’t bother denying this. Sure, the education you get at a school like, say, Northwestern, is arguably just as fantastic as an education you get at Harvard, but the world views Harvard grads differently, and it would be a blatant lie to suggest otherwise. </p>

<p>Now, to the OP, I fully understand how you feel. All throughout high school, I have equated my self-worth to my intelligence. Chalk it up to my lack of confidence in myself, but I have never felt like I was good for anything else. That Harvard acceptance letter was going to be the ultimate consolidation of my intelligence, and a celebration of all the hard work I had put in my academics. And all those cocky arses who thought that they were getting into Ivies despite having stats lower than mine were going to see how wrong they were. April 1st came, and I was crushed. Harvard for that kid in my Econ class whom I beat in every test. Cornell for that kid in my Math class whom I crushed in the SATs. And rejection from every front for me. As you can imagine, I was devastated. And I still am, every time I look at college rankings and see that someone less deserving than me is going to go to the best school in the US this fall because of his bloody nationality and skills with a spherical object. As a result, I have completely lost faith in myself, and the college admissions process.</p>

<p>Now, I would like to address some of the previous posts in this thread.</p>

<p>“You are right now wallowing in self-pity that is getting you nowhere. You are focusing on something that is ultimately irrelevant. Stop it. It’s really easy.”</p>

<p>No, it’s not. I don’t know if you have been through rejection like this before, but no, it’s not. It’s not easy to see four years of hard work amount to rejection. It’s not easy to see other people get into these schools you’ve been dreaming about, while you’re denied admission. It’s not easy to give it all you’ve got, and find out that it’s not enough, even if the factors that determine admission are largely out of your control. So please, stop acting like it is. As a 17 year old graduating from high school, college is the single most important thing in my life right now. Don’t tell me that it’s really easy to stop focusing on it. Don’t tell me that it’s really easy to stop caring.</p>

<p>“It’s silly to think that the Ivies have a lock on all of the country or world’s brilliant people. I’m a Harvard grad, and I know people who attend community college who are smarter than me. I’ve met high school drop-outs who are smarter, too. There are plenty of very smart people in the world, and most have no affiliation with Ivies.”</p>

<p>I agree with you, and I am having a huge problem reconciling with this fact at the moment, as I’m sure the OP is. All my life, I’ve been raised to view Harvard as the holy grail of college admissions. Ranked number 1, admissions rate of 7%, only the best are granted admission into its pearly gates. It is therefore easy enough to look at a brilliant genius and say, “Yes, he absolutely deserves to get into Harvard. He’s a genius, he’s worked hard, and he’ll be great at a place that fosters intelligence like Harvard.” But when geniuses (I’m not conceited enough to be referring to myself) get rejected and undeserving students get accepted, how am I supposed to accept that and move on? But I will. Eventually. I promise. It’ll just take time.</p>

<p>All that being said, I probably sympathize with you more than the average poster on this thread appears to, with some of their posts bordering on antipathy, but the deal is this: We both tried, and we both failed. What they say is largely true: there’s nothing more either of us can do. I’m sure you were a qualified student, and I’m sure you put all of your self-worth into this, but they don’t need us, they don’t want us, and they’ll be fine without us. And we’re going to have to learn how to be fine without them too. And we will be. All of us. All 93% of us who were rejected from Harvard this year. We won’t be doing as great on Wall Street when we graduate, but we’ll be fine. And that’s more than I can say for most people in this world.</p>

<p>You ask for advice as to where to go from here. Live your life. This rejection stings, I know. And it’ll probably sting for a long time to come. I know, I feel your pain. Trust me. Bitterness, resentment, and a terrible desire to scream. But I’ve read your posts. You sound like a perfectly intelligent, above average member of society. In the long run, things will work out for you. So go to the university you got into, whichever that may be, and study your arse off. Work hard. Prove to everyone that those colleges that denied you admission made the worst mistake of their lives. Be successful. Because you’re capable of it. </p>

<p>You’re not average right now. Neither am I. You’re way above average, and you know it. Now it’s time to believe it. And even if you are average, as you claim to be, work hard. Study hard. Get that 4.0 in college. Work until you’re above average. Work until you’re exceptional. And then try again in four years for grad school. And if you fail again in four years, work harder. Life will present you a never-ending plethora of chances to be more than average. I believe that with all my heart. </p>

<p>What happens to you from here on out depends on what choices you choose. The easy way out in the form of a prestigious college is no longer an option for you. But the thing is, that’s okay. It has to be. You’ll blaze your own path to success. And so will I. And we’ll both be fine. We’ll both be more than fine.</p>

<p>I wish you the best of luck, and I hope your life turns out far better than you expect it to right now, and one day, you’ll look back at this with a laugh and a happy attitude.</p>

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<p>Whenever you feel that your life is over because you didn’t go to an Ivy, think of Rahm Emmanuel, who went to Sarah Lawrence (at a time when it was going co-ed, had a damning NYT cover story about “The Trouble with Sarah Lawrence” during the fall that he was applying and SLC was not difficult for anyone to get into) AND whose brother went to Amherst (he chose that school over Ivies.) Rahm was not the same caliber student as his brother, he was a pretty average guy until he moved his way up to being (arguably) the second most powerful man in the world.</p>

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<p>Post #198 - How do we get a single post (not an entire thread) stickied?</p>

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<p>There have been numerous studies proving that (except for low-income individuals) college attended and future salaries have little correlation. You’ll be fine!</p>