Career vs. Relationship

Graduate School
1

<p>Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and am hoping I can get some helpful advice and comments from others. This post will probably be long, so I apologize in advance! I'll start with a little background. I'm 23 (almost 24), live in Chicago, working as a research technologist in a lab currently. I graduated with a BS in Biology degree in June 2007, and have been working here since. This job is very minimal on the stress level, I am pretty independent, and my coworkers are all pretty nice. The only thing is that I'm not getting any research experience here, I only run routine clinical samples when they come in (always the same thing). This doesn't bother me though because I've got a lot of other things going on outside of work that I can think about and deal with at work (studying French - a hobby of mine, applying for graduate schools, etc.). I applied for PhD programs while I was a senior in undergrad, got invited to two interviews (one where I live and one in California - really far from me). I didn't think the programs were right for me and decided not to go. I had many reasons for deciding this; 1) I don't think I cared enough about the material to pursue a PhD, 2) Wasn't prepared to give up most of my other hobbies in order to pursue something I'm not even sure I Really like, and 3) I was afraid to move/ or start a new program that wouldn't allow me to move in the near future because of my boyfriend.</p>

<pre><code>I still haven't quite figured out what I want to do with my life, and I feel like the clock is really ticking. Feeling this way, I decided to apply for MS in Biology programs after deliberating many other career paths' pros and cons specific to me. My boyfriend, who is 2 years younger than me is graduating from undergrad this year, and also applied to graduate school for a PhD program in Philosophy. Knowing that we were both applying to graduate schools and didn't want to break up, we (especially me) spent a Huge amount of time trying to find schools in same locations, so we could both advance our career and stay together. I applied to 10 schools, he applied to 11. So far, he has been accepted only to Penn State University, and denied from SUNY Stony Brook, Loyola, and Berkeley. I have only heard back from one school, Hofstra University, and they have Awful funding, so I wont be going there. (It really doesn't seem worth it to take out loans for an already seemingly sort of useless masters degree in biology - I've heard from many that I could just work a few more years and have the same advantage in the job market as someone with a MS in biology, hence, taking out loans really wont suit me financially).

Before even applying to any schools, I contacted Many faculty members to see if I'd even have support at certain schools. The best program that I've applied to, Penn State, is unfortunately seeming that I'm not going to be accepted. I contacted about 8 professors asking if they would support my MS project, and I still haven't found a source of support, and therefore, most likely wont get accepted there. This would have been perfect if I got accepted there, my boyfriend (by the way of 7 years) and I could have advanced our careers at our top school choices and live together! But it's definitely not looking good. He is really excited that he got accepted into his top school, and really wants to go there.
I also applied to a few more schools in Pennsylvannia, one in Lewisburg (70 miles from PSU) and Villanova (180 miles from PSU). Other schools that I have faculty support at are Fordham (NYC), and maybe Loyola (Chicago - where I live) or SFSU.

So now I'm waiting for the rest of my responses from schools, and so is my bf. Another sticky issue is that I will be going to France to study abroad (has been a dream of mine for pasy 8 years, and I finally have the money and time to do it) from March 25th until July 2nd. I probably wont hear any responses in time to go and visit the schools I'm accepted into. So, I might have to make a misinformed decision while in France (decision deadline: April 15th). I'm pretty sure of what schools I'll get into and what ones I wont because of talks I've had with faculty, and knowing if I have strong support there, funding and a project makes me think that I'll be accepted into a program (also most of the schools I'm applying to are at or below my academic level/ competence)

I'm strongly leaning to going to Bucknell University at this point, because I could go to a grad program where I have support from two faculty members, some funding (only 8,000 - but its in Lewisburg, PA where it's Ridiculously cheap to live, so it will hopefully cover all living costs and the tuition is paid for), and get an apartment with my boyfriend (in a town between the 2 schools, so we'd both have to get cars and drive about 30 miles to school - I've found a few apartments that are in between Bucknell ad PSU that are really cheap). Also, another perk is that I can split living expenses with him (his stipend will be 16,000 - double mine and he agreed to pay a bit more for living expenses if it needs to be).

Here's the problem: I don't think Bucknell is as good of a school as other schools I'm applying to. They have a Very small graduate program (only MS degrees offered, but this is the same at a lot of other schools I'm applying to - Villanova, Loyola, SFSU, etc.) and the school isn't known for their grad studies. But, I do have good faculty support from two members. I want to work with a guy who studies telomere length in relation to aging, which seems to have good prospects in that field. He just got his PhD in 2005, and I'm not sure if that matters much though, I know he's not a post-doc now, but I don't think he's tenure track either. Both faculty members at Bucknell seemed Extremely nice when I talked to them.

Another issue is, a I've mentioned previously is that I'm not even sure what I want to do in life. I'm pretty sure I don't want a PhD. But I don't even know if a masters is good for me, being that it's not really valued in the biology field (it's either BS or PhD experience that really counts). I might not even make more money than I am now, and will have to live on one Fifth of what I'm making a year now, and have to work realllly hard and give up some hobbies that I really enjoy. I think I felt pressured to just do Something, Anything other than just working a lab tech job. My professor in undergrad really pursued me to continue my studies and was upset when I didn't go for my PhD. I feel like my clock is ticking and I don't think I'll ever know more than now, so I decided to apply (even though somewhat because I was under pressure).

Finally, the question: am I silly if I decide to go to Bucknell over another (possibly and probably) better school because I want to live with my bf, and am really not even sure about my decision (or think I will ever know what I want to do!!!) to get a MS in Biology degree? Long distance is a possibility, but I really don't want to do this because I Don't believe in all the destiny stuff (ooh if its meant to be it'll happen), and think the large amount of work involved will break us up. Even Villanova, which is 3.5 hours away from PSU seems theres a chance it might not work between us because that's Seven hours of driving each time we want to see eachother! Where do grad students get that amount of time spent on just driving!? I don't think we won't care enough, but that it will be an actual physical impossibility. I would want to see him every other weekend ( so each of us would drive once a month to the other's place), which is already going to be hard, seeing that I really look forward to seeing him way more often! (Usually its sat, sunday and one day during the week when we have band practice with his brother - us three have been playing together for a looong time, and some random, unscheduled hang outs) We have been working on a weekend only hang out schedule for so long now because we both have lots of other things to during the week, and this works best for both of us. Point being that I truly value every minute we get to spend together, and don't see myself being happy seeing him too much less. It's definitely something that makes me the happiest in my life! We both definitely don't want to get married anytime soon, but both hope that we might someday - therefore not having wasted so much time with someone and ending up breaking up!

My bf is more open than me to try the long distance thing (mainly only if its not too far, cause we will No way have any extra money to travel too far to see each other!), but I think he might be ignoring how much work it will really entail and that it might just end up being virtually impossible to get two weekends off a month to hang out, or whatever time we want to see each other. I think it will be easier to lose commitment to each other once we start a program and it's really too much work/ or impossible to see the other person. My bf seems to put his career ahead of love, and I seem to be the other way around...how typical for males and females, eh? - and I totally hate that! It's not me putting love ahead of work that bugs me, its the absence of a mutual feeling that really bugs me! I feel like I would sacrifice more than the other person! Although, if he didn't go to PSU because of me - that would be a way bigger sacrifice for him than if I didn't go to a MS program that I'm not even sure about (8 year commitment for him lost vs. only 2 for me). Dont get me wrong, he doesn't expect me to sacrifice any more than he would - he wants me to do what makes me happy, whether it be my career over him or the other way around. He just wants me to succeed, and is worried about me that I'm so unsure about what I want to do in life.

We're both still waiting for responses. If we both get into Fordham - he Might consider going there - but it's not the best program for him. If he gets into Northwestern University or University of Chicago, he might also consider going there (and I would go to Loyola in Chicago). But it's not looking good for him getting into any other school, because it's already so late and he hasn't even gotten an email or contact from other schools! Most likely his only school will be PSU. I feel like I'm very flexible with what program I go to because I don't care as much as he does about grad school, and I feel like I'd be really unhappy without him (I think he feels that way too, but not as much). I know this seems like some premature worrying, but I have good reason to believe that he will only be accepted to PSU, and I won't be accepted at PSU, so I'm trying to think through scenarios. I don't want to have to be so stressed out about this going into France - I want to enjoy this trip (if this matters, he's going too, but with his University, and we wont be in the same place in France the whole time)!!! I know people will probably criticize a lot of what I had to say, but maybe I just didn't add all the details or didn't say some things clearly. I'll definitely keep posting the decisions from schools as time passes...

What do you think I should do?
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[QUOTE=joliver]

What do you think I should do

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<p>First off- write shorter forum board entries. Second, a masters isn’t worthless if you use it correctly. If you are hoping to work in industry, it may actually get you more than a bachelors (though not in R and D). I wouldn’t actually pursue a masters for the exact reasons you state eg. lack of funding, lack of places with a terminal masters program, uprooting your life for only two years. </p>

<p>Frankly, since you are not doing much professionally now, you should think about finding another tech job wherever your boyfriend goes to grad school and look into graduate programs in a couple years when you have a better idea of what you want to do with your life.</p>

<p>23 years old and 18 months out of college doesn’t warrant this “clock is ticking” nonsense. If you don’t know what you want to do, take some time and figure it out. I would recommend taking a second look at Phd programs as they are a)more prevalent b)fully funded c)a heckuva lot more interesting than routine clinical sample analysis. The workload admittedly would be higher than your current job but no worse than the workload for a masters degree.</p>

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<p>Since staying near or living with your bf seems to be the most important thing to you right now and you are not sure what you want to do with your life yet, why not just move with him to grad school and find a job, maybe as a research technician or doing something else that interests you? This way you can have more time to think about what type of career you want and you are not saddled with debt from a masters degree that you are not certain you will use. I know it feels like the clock is ticking, but I think its better to feel good about the graduate degree you are working towards since it will require so much time and effort. Many of my fellow college grads have learned so much about what they want to do career wise from working in the “real” world- could you find a job that is more in line with what you are interested in? It sounds like your job processing clinical samples is not helping you answer whether you want to work in research/biology.</p>

<p>Maybe some time will help you figure out your goals and dreams- and your priorities may change and you will be free to move on w/o debt or a thesis deadline (or maybe even your bf!). I will be leaving my bf of 7 years to go to grad school this Fall because it is that important to me now and after working for almost 3 years, I am sure that it is the right choice for me. Good luck!!</p>

4

<p>break up with your boyfriend.</p>

<p>okay, i’m just kidding.</p>

<p>you said you don’t know what you want to do with your life, you don’t know if you want a PhD at all, and that for the sort of work you do, a masters doesn’t give you any advantages above simply having a BS, and it would stretch your finances and possibly put you into debt.</p>

<p>short answer: don’t go to grad school. whatever work you’re doing now, try to find a lab near your boyfriend’s school and work there. even take a pay cut if you have to. but just get a regular job.</p>

<p>there are so many variables in this scenario. you two could move in together and break up in a few months because living with a person is much different than dating them. then you’re stuck at an inferior grad school with a stipend not large enough to support you on your own. $666/month is not enough to live off of. even if you rented a place for $350 somewhere, which is incredibly cheap in any area, you’re still effed for the rest of your expenses. certainly no car, once you factor in gas and insurance.</p>

<p>OR, you could go to the inferior grad school and then decide you really like the masters program and want to do a PhD. you said bucknell doesn’t have a PhD program, so you’d be looking at yet another move, while your boyfriend would still be in PA doing his degree.</p>

<p>also, if you don’t think your relationship is strong enough to endure a 3.5 hour drive each way to see each other, you two won’t last. i know you’ve dated for 7 years and you feel like you’ve invested a lot of time in each other, but being together for ___ years is not a good reason to stay together for another ___ years, let alone a reason to get married.</p>

<p>an example… one of my best friends will be turning 28 soon. he’s been living with his 34 year old girlfriend for three years and they’ve been dating for six. he waited for her while she finished her LpN 2000 miles away. then she waited for him while he started community college 1500 miles away. she began her RN program and he started his BA and they’ve had just under three years of living together full time. he was faced with the prospect of doing the first year of his PhD in the states, thousands of miles away, while she finished the last year of her RN degree. he decided that he didn’t want to spend that time away from her, so he got a job working construction. the economy goes in the tank in the fall and all the construction jobs in the city dry up. so he goes up to the f’ing yukon to start working on oil rigs for cash (and to pay off his student loans). now he works for two weeks and then comes back to vancouver for one week, and has been on that schedule since october. he hates being away, she hates that he’s away, they have an unreliable internet connection and there’s one telephone that all the guys on the rig line up to use, so for a good part of those two weeks they can’t even communicate with each other, let alone see each other. but they manage to make it work because they’re in love. it’s hard, they fight, she cries, he’s frustrated as hell, but they get through it and are still the most solid couple i have ever met in my life. they’re partners.</p>

<p>you know… so. if your boyfriend is putting his career ahead of your relationship, and you don’t think you could make the distance thing work over a relatively short driving distance, then the relationship doesn’t sound too solid. don’t go making huge life decisions based on something you think isn’t worth 7 hours in a car.</p>

<p>at the same time, i don’t think you should get an MS if, like you say, that degree alone won’t further your career and you’re not even sure you want to do a PhD. find a lab to work in near him, or take a break from the relationship and stay where you are. if you go making decisions for him instead of for yourself, you’ll come to resent him eventually.</p>

<p>you have plenty of time to do a PhD. you definitely DON’T know everything you’re going to know right now. i’m sorry, but i don’t think you’re ready. enjoy, really enjoy, your trip to france. have a good time. and when you get back, see where you stand with your boyfriend. if you two still want to be together, try to find a job near him. but don’t throw yourself into a demanding masters program at an inferior school for not enough money that will make you drop the hobbies you love just to be close to him. there are other ways to live near/with him, if that’s what you both will still want at that point.</p>

<p>or don’t listen to me at all. :)</p>

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<p>Seems like there is more than one way to have a successful relationship. After dating for so long, would you test its strength and foundation with long distance relationship or nurture it further because you “feel” it’s worth the time and sacrifice?</p>

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<p>Strangelight? Are you serious? I guess she shouldn’t get a job in the Yukon on an oil rig with unreliable dialup either.</p>

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<p>Unless you see yourself marrying your current counterpart, and you really couldn’t continue your relationship, then career. You have to live; take care of yourself first, no matter how much it might initially hurt.</p>

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<p>I would break up with my girlfriend if it meant having reliable dial-up 2/3 of the time. 5mbs down or nothing.</p>

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<p>I am not going to comment on your relationship - that is between your BF and you. I will just go on the basis that you want to stay together, and that he is going to PSU.</p>

<p>Central PA is a relatively cheap place to live, especially out in the boondocks, so you might be able to make it work doing your grad at Bucknell, as long as gas prices don’t skyrocket again so soon. Still, if you are going to go to central PA I would recommend moving and getting a job for a year and re-evaluate. You would then qualify for in-state tuition at Penn State. You would be able to make strong contacts with professors there. You could probably get a job working for one of the numerous bio-tech start-ups co-owned by PSU prof’s.</p>

<p>In general, I would avoid grad school until you have a clear idea of something you are interested in studying, and I would recommend going the phd route then. Better funding and a hook straight into academia or professional research.</p>

10

<p>Hi and thanks for the responses everyone. Sorry that the post ended up being so long! I’ll try to reply to some of the things people said here. </p>

<p>“23 years old and 18 months out of college doesn’t warrant this “clock is ticking” nonsense.” - I feel this way because I believe I will loose the better 2 of my 3 recommenders if I don’t go to school this year. Two of the three reocmmenders are former professors from my undergrad school (one of which was my main mentor throughout college, and I worked with him for 6 months in his lab). The recommender who I worked with in college had such high hopes for me, and encouraged me to apply for PhD programs when I was a senior. I interviewed at UC Irvine (then was denied) and Loyola (decision wasn’t made before I told them I didn’t want to go there), but decided not to go because I didn’t like the programs when I interviewed. My professor was pretty disappointed that I didn’t go. I’ve kept contact with him since then and he was a recommender this year again for the MS programs. If I don’t go this year he’s going to think I’m a total flake and not want to recommend for me again! The other professor from college that did recommendations for me was his first time doing this for me, but he is already retired and I don’t know if he’ll recommend me again either. The third recommender is my boss, and what I suspect is my weakest recommendation - the mentor/recommender’s being the best. So this is why I feel pressured to go this year. And also because I don’t think I’m ever going to know more than now, I’ve thought so long and hard about this while working here and I believe that I Need to go back to school before my mind deteriorates any more!</p>

<p>“saddled with debt from a masters degree that you are not certain you will use” - I don’t plan on taking out ANY debt in order to get my master’s degree. If I needed to take out loans for a program, I just wouldn’t go (or take out Very minimal loans). I knew that from the beginning that it wouldn’t be worth it if I had to take out loans. I think the stipends for most of the programs I’m applying to are adequate to not need loans, but I’ll have to live off ramen noodle for 2 years lol!</p>

<p>“It sounds like your job processing clinical samples is not helping you answer whether you want to work in research/biology.” - I completely agree. But was I motivated to find other work/ volunteer to help other researchers here at work while I was working here? No - because I just wasn’t motivated and I always found other things to do, like study French or apply to grad programs… Maybe the field just doesn’t interest me, I’m not sure.</p>

<p>“find a job, maybe as a research technician or doing something else that interests you” - I’m considering this option, getting a job that would be similar to a Master’s program - work that actually involves research and intellectual input. And I’d really like to do this at Penn State, so I can maybe get a foot in the door for their grad program in the future! But, I’m not sure I can find a job there when the time comes…and there’s virtually no other place I could work around there, in the middle of nowhere lol!</p>

<p>“OR, you could go to the inferior grad school and then decide you really like the masters program and want to do a PhD. you said bucknell doesn’t have a PhD program, so you’d be looking at yet another move, while your boyfriend would still be in PA doing his degree” - If I wanted a PhD after the MS, Penn State has an excellent program for that. But as of now, I’m almost certain that I do Not want a PhD! Also, Most of the programs I’m applying to only have MS and no PhD (because most PhD program schools give the funding and resources to their PhD students)</p>

<p>“also, if you don’t think your relationship is strong enough to endure a 3.5 hour drive each way to see each other, you two won’t last.” and “don’t go making huge life decisions based on something you think isn’t worth 7 hours in a car.”- I wasn’t saying that at all. I was just saying I was worried that it could be a physical or financial Impossibility to visit each other (esp. if its really far), not only that we just would not want to do it. We will both be living on super tiny stipends, and traveling frequently probably wont work into our budget. Also, I’m terrified of deciding to go to a grad program that I’m not even sure will make me happy, and in the process sacrificing the relationship with a bf who I really love - it’s not that not going to grad school is necessarily a Huge life decision because it’s something I’m even a little worried about too!</p>

<p>“enjoy, really enjoy, your trip to france. have a good time. and when you get back, see where you stand with your boyfriend.” - Thanks, I’m definitely looking forward to having an amazing time there =). But the problem is that I have to decide by April 15th, I can’t wait until I get back to decide if I want to go to the MS program or work (at home or by PSU).</p>

<p>“so you might be able to make it work doing your grad at Bucknell” - I’m hoping this is true, I’m definitely going to ask about these things before accepting Bucknell. I also was thinking sharing an apartment with my bf would help cut the living costs down would be nice, not just being able to live with him.</p>

<p>“You would then qualify for in-state tuition at Penn State. You would be able to make strong contacts with professors there. You could probably get a job working for one of the numerous bio-tech start-ups co-owned by PSU prof’s.” - This is an option for me for sure, but I worried that if I don’t accept MS offers because I want to work at PSU, what if I cant find a job there when it comes time to move there?</p>

<p>“I would avoid grad school until you have a clear idea of something you are interested in studying, and I would recommend going the phd route then. Better funding and a hook straight into academia or professional research” - I’ve considered this option quite a bit and interviewed at PhD programs. Also, seeing what all the PhD’s do at my job doesn’t interest me. Their only thing in their life seems to be science, and maybe it’s just immature of me to think this, but I’d like to have hobbies outside of work, and not have to spend soo much time at work and be so stressed out writing grant proposals constantly! I’ve even considered med school (I don’t deal with stress well, and am pretty clumsy - so that’s a bad starter!), allied health sciences (went to optometry school open house), …I think I just lack focus. I was reading over my early grammar school report cards a few weeks ago, and lots of teachers said that I just really lack focus! Ahh, I need to just pick something, stick with it, and stop being a dilettante! I don’t think I’ll ever be sure what I want to do, but now at least I can go back to school for a little while and keep my mind fresh!</p>

<p>So, another long post, sorry about that! Thanks so much for all the help so far!!!</p>

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<p>If you get funding from any of the schools, go there. If you don’t, and you’re not keen on the idea of $20k+ worth of debt for a degree you’re not sure you want, then follow your boyfriend and start working. Your boyfriend probably isn’t stressing about the prospect of a long-distance relationship not because he puts career before love, but he believes the relationship is solid enough to stand it and he wants you to make the best choice possible for you. I mean, what is he supposed to say: “Screw your own professional goals; we have to stay together even if it means one of us gives up our dreams and we regret it for the rest of our lives”?</p>

<p>Guys are [usually] pragmatic about these things. I’m in the same boat, waiting for replies from schools that I may have to move out of state/country for. I’m apprehensive and cling to the hope that my bf’s school will give me funding (we’ve been living together for two years, and I’m used to the cheap rent :D). But the way he sees it, it’s only two years of separation, I’m trustworthy enough not to run into some other guy’s arms from a little loneliness, and if I choose the best program possible I’ll get a higher-paying job which means, down the line, he doesn’t have to work as hard :p</p>

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<p>Whatever happened to writing shorter posts? Forum etiquette ppl.</p>

<p>It is pretty arrogant for you to write such a large post cuz u’ve made it evident you think you’re life is so important we should spend abt 5mins of our time reading ur issue. An issue you could have articulated in abt half the amnt of words you actually used.</p>

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<p>First of all, at this stage of your life, your significant other shouldn’t be as important as your academic + career decisions. It is more than likely the two of you won’t even be together a few yrs down the road so it seems silly for him to be a factor in your university choices.</p>

<p>Your bf is right in putting his goals above you.</p>

<p>Take some time off and do the france bit. Don’t go rushing your choices like you seem to be doing. Your bf should go to whatever school is best for him and him alone without giving any thought to you at all.</p>

<p>If long distance is the only possible option, I suggest you both save yourselves needless stress and break up.</p>

<p>Frankly, this all seems a bit rushed. I wouldn’t be so keen on making decisions like that under these circumstances. Time aint exactly cheap but I suggest you take a year to think about this.</p>

<p>Furthermore, why the tech job that seems like mundane work that isn’t research related?</p>

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<p>Hey MasterMoe, you don’t have to read my post if you don’t want to “spend abt 5mins of [your] time reading ur issue”! Why would you read it if it was too long for you? I don’t think this is "An issue * could have articulated in abt half the amnt of words * actually used. " I felt that all the details were necessary, and there’s tons more I could have written. I just wrote the important parts with some details so that I can get adequate, not misinformed, responses. Thank you for reading and responding anyways.</p>

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<p>^agree 100%</p>

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<p>

This is absolutely not true for some people, even people right out of college, and people for whom it’s not true (like the OP) know who they are.</p>

<p>I picked my grad program explicitly so I could be in the same city as my boyfriend, because we weren’t interested in a long-distance (not that we thought we couldn’t, we just didn’t want to be apart). We got married at the ages of 23 and 22, and we couldn’t be happier. When you get to the point in a relationship where you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, it’s not about career vs. relationship, it’s how to make your relationship and your careers work in conjunction with each other.</p>

<p>For the OP, I’d suggest looking around for tech positions at Penn State now (I’m not at Penn State, but I know my lab is currently interviewing people for positions starting in July). If you can’t find anything, by all means start the program at Bucknell.</p>

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<p>No one here is going to be able to tell you if your relationship can last, if we think it’s worth it, etc. That is solely up to you. The most logical decision, to me, would be to get a lab tech job at Penn State (or wherever he ends up) and find a lab that will allow you to explore science intellectually as opposed to mundane tasks. Not only will this help you financially, but some of the most competitive PhD applicants have lab tech experience. So if you choose to go down that route, you will only be helping yourself.</p>

<p>Plus if he’s going into Philosophy, you might need the money! :stuck_out_tongue: (just kidding of course.)</p>

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<p>Mastermoe, you’re such a romantic. I agree with Mollie on this point. My wife and I got married at 21 and this has remained one of the most fulfilling and happy parts of my life. I don’t know that age has anything to do with how serious a relationship can be. </p>

<p>Incidentally, I think that distance is a terrific way to end a relationship, not to test it. Sure it can be done, but people in our age group/professional positions, do a lot of a growing up and not being in close contact with your spouse/sf seems like it could contribute to growing apart.</p>

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<p>Don’t listen to people who say that you should just breakup. I know what you are going through and I am also someone who thought that I wanted a PhD in biology, but realized that I really don’t know if that’s the right path for me. You really don’t want to go to a masters program far away from your boyfriend and then end up not liking it because you are too stressed about your relationship. If you are the type of person to get upset about seeing your boyfriend, then it may really ruin your attitude about the masters program and you are already unsure about it. I know you mentioned that you analyzed a lot of clinical samples? What about going to school for a clinical laboratory technologist license? I think it’s only a year, and it will be easier to find a job since they are in high demand at hospitals. Just throwing the idea out there. I just don’t think that you should go to grad school just to put off figuring out what you really want to do with your life.</p>

<p>And coming from someone who is trying to figure out just that, with a boyfriend clear across the country, long distance relationships make it really really hard to think. Don’t give up an amazing opportunity, but I see nothing wrong with making a few changes for a relationship.</p>

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<p>I had a similar problem. My boyfriend of 7 years joined the Air Force, I was applying to graduate school. Long story short, he encouraged me to go where I wanted to go in order to get a Ph.D…and we believed that our relationship was strong enough to survive a long-distance, so I chose Columbia and he ended up getting stationed in central New Jersey. It’s 3 hours away, and it’s really not that bad of a ride (we take the bus back and forth every weekend to visit one another). Time passes so quickly when you’re in graduate school. Trust me, being 3 hours’ car ride away is better than having to take a plane to see one another.</p>

<p>Anyway, it sounds like you’re not even really sure what you want to do, and why spend the money/time/energy to get a MS in biology when you’re not sure that’s what you want to do? Have you looked into biomedical engineering, biotechnology, even public health? It appears to me that you’re just planning to get an MS because you can’t think of anything better to do, and that’s really not a good idea. As much as I love my Ph.D program and this is where I want to be, I hate living apart from my boyfriend and as stressful as this is, I would’ve dropped out a long time ago if my heart wasn’t in it.</p>