<p>Thanks again for all the replies! I noticed a lot of people saying that I should get a tech job at PSU (and try it out for a year, and maybe try to get into that grad program). I have three concerns about not going to grad school this year: 1) I might loose my prior recommenders (one or two of the three wrote Excellent recommendations) support, and hence won't have really good future recommendations, 2) I spent a lot of time and money (about $900) on researching schools, paying application fees, paying GRE score report fees, writing personal statements, etc., 3) I might not be able to find a job at PSU, and I don't think there are any other labs I could work in near PSU (anyone know of any?)</p>
<pre><code>I don't want all of the time and money spent to get wasted, I don't want to lose great recommenders because they think I'm a flake, and I don't want to not even be able to find a job after I turn down all the grad school offers (although I have about 8,000 saved up for the whole grad school/moving/getting a cheap car thing so may be okay for a little bit). I may also feel a little flaky my self after applying to these programs, getting offers, and then not even going... But I'm willing to consider the job at PSU idea and then trying to get a foot in the door for the grad program or at Least taking some classes while working in the meantime until I figure my silly life out! =)
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<p>"people in our age group/professional positions, do a lot of a growing up and not being in close contact with your spouse/sf seems like it could contribute to growing apart. " - Belevitt, I agree with you and this is Exactly why I think long distance might not work even if we really love each other. This and the fact that long distance may become just physically and financially impossible due to the cost of traveling for visiting on grad school stipends!</p>
<p>I also have a problem as of this morning: My fiancee just got into a master's program for engineering at MIT. We tried to match schools (I am applying to bio/biomed PhD) and I've gotten into 3 that he is still waiting to hear from. They are less good for him but he is willing to go to them to stay with me. </p>
<p>Today he just got a AMAZING funding package from MIT (for a masters!)- basically a PhD-sized fellowship with tuition, healthcare and awesome stipend. They are heavily recruiting him because he did very well in his undergrad here (at MIT). I don't know what to think... I am extremely happy for him but now feel like we'd have to be apart for the next two years because this would be the best option for the current economic situation- so we can save up for later (we've already postponed/downsized wedding due to family financial problems). Not to mention this is an amazing option for his career that I don't want him (or me) to regret not taking up later in life. I did not get into Harvard which was the only Boston school I applied to, thinking we would just go elsewhere. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there are some people who are telling me two years is nothing- like my parents who were apart for 6 years while my dad got his PhD mid-life... Any thoughts?</p>
<p>2 years is nothing compared to 5-7 years for doctoral programs. (Thank goodness for the internet!)</p>
<p>Go to the best program for your needs and interests (this is short-term and both of you should be happy).</p>
<p>Finances are important here. What are your long-term goals? If you get great funding from your top choice, go there. If you're interested in doctoral programs, you can apply to similar locations together.</p>
<p>Listen to your gut feeling (follow your heart).</p>
<p>2 years is not too long. I'm going on 10 months with my boyfriend, the first 3 we were 2hours apart, yet he traveled a lot during that time, and the past 8 we were a 5 hour flight apart. It went fast and I think we could make it another year. If you are positive that it would only be 2 years, then you can make it work. In my case, after my boyfriend finishes his program, he is unsure where his company will send him next, which is making everything more difficult for us. If he will join you after he finishes his masters at MIT, then you will be fine.</p>
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I don't want all of the time and money spent to get wasted
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<p>You want to choose a life path based on $1k and some time spent on researching schools? I know it was a lot of time and effort--I must have devoted a week of my life total to the process--but that's a little silly. If you don't want the degree, you'll only be wasting more time and money by pursuing it. If you feel like a flake, and need some time to think, you can pick the program you would most like to go to and defer matriculation for a year. Then you can work near your bf and find out if the relationship really has lasting power, whether you want a future in the sciences, etc.</p>