<p>I've received an offer to work at Carnegie Mellon this summer on a signal processing project.</p>
<p>I'm from Canada so it was very hard for me to get this position as I can't apply for an REU. I had to compete with many Americans from top schools who the Prof wouldn't even have to pay much out of his pocket due to REU and other grants.</p>
<p>But! I really like this girl from my class who might or might not have a boyfriend. She won't be going to Carnegie Mellon in the summer. </p>
<p>I don’t know if everyone else is being serious, but the girl who probably has a boyfriend seems like a way more appealing option to me. At least it would be a more mature choice, imo.</p>
<p>I assume this is a joke, because no one who is smart enough to be in this situation is dumb enough to squander it on a girl that probably has a boyfriend already and isn’t interested. Honestly, if you haven’t talked to her enough to figure out if she has a boyfriend or not, you don’t know her well enough to center any decisions around her.</p>
<p>Holy ****, he’s definitely not joking. Look at his post history; everything he posts on pertains to getting women.</p>
<p>OP, you’ll have better opportunities with <em>single</em> women later in life (I guarantee it); you’re still young. Go to Carnegie Mellon, you’ll regret it if you don’t.</p>
<p>I have a hard time believing that anyone would make such horrible life-changing decisions solely on the basis on whether or not it might possibly get them hypothetically laid. I’m not saying that romance should never be a factor but derailing your career based on the tenuous possibility of meeting one girl that you barely know and might already have a boyfriend or, Hell, might actually be a dude, is insane.</p>
<p>i don’t just want to get ‘laid’. I really like this girl.</p>
<p>"meeting one girl that you barely know "</p>
<p>i do know her! </p>
<p>“Hell, might actually be a dude”</p>
<p>pretty sure she is not a dude. </p>
<p>“no one who is smart enough to be in this situation is dumb enough to squander it on a girl that probably has a boyfriend already and isn’t interested”</p>
<p>well you see thats the problem. I wouldn’t say i’m a super genius. In order to get into the position where i can compete with students from top american schools, i’ve had to work exceeding hard. So hard that i never get to meet women. This girl is pretty much the only girl that talks to me outside my family.</p>
<p>its all culturallly relative. some places in antiquity would have had this exact kind of conversation but everyone would have been saying “you insane lad? go with the girl!”</p>
<p>Although i do think this might be a bit of light-headed infatuation…so…go with the job because thats whats idealized here in the US of A, right??</p>
<p>No. Seriously. There is plenty of time to meet girls that are actually single. I would be immediately turned off (and creeped out) if a man turned down that huge of an opportunity for me. If my own boyfriend did that I would shoot him!</p>
<p>See, my problem isn’t so much the decision between work and love, but the fact that he hasn’t even taken the time to find out if she’s available for a relationship or not. If he had at least gotten ready for a relationship, then I could totally respect the decision to give up the job for the girl. But from the information that he’s given us so far it doesn’t seem like there’s been any thought put into this.</p>
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<p>There’s a plan. I’m not saying you shouldn’t choose the girl; I’m just saying you should at least make sure that she’s even available. If she’s not available but you turn down the job before finding that out, then you’re hosed. </p>
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<p>Fair enough. I apologize for being flippant; I should have had more respect for your feelings.</p>
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<p>I can respect that. Working hard is a definite plus, not just in school but in life. Still, I would really, really recommend talking to this girl about your intentions before you make your decision. There’s little we can do to advise you, honestly. We don’t know the girl or how much you know about her or even if it would work out between you two.</p>
<p>Unless you were already into a 1+ year (serious) relationship, I don’t know how the hell you would decide to throw away such an opportunity. Being skilled and making money is highly attractive, DON"T pass this chance up. You have plenty of time to get girls later…</p>
<p>It sounds like there are two prizes you’re after, but only one is in the bag, so to speak. Ask the girl out first. No rush, you have several months to make this decision, I presume. If she rejects you, the choice is made easy.</p>
<p>But if you two do start going out, STAY for the relationship. Even if you realize it’s going nowhere, you need the experience. From what everyone says, this girl thing is really tearing you up inside. You’ve been waiting for a moment like this for years! People need balance, and you say you’ve been a workaholic. No one in this thread would have said anything if, over the past few years, you had gone to more parties and gotten worse grades. And in the end you probably would have gotten a girl but not gotten this internship–same outcome, but no one would have criticized you then.</p>
<p>If you really are regretting how your past turned out, you now have a simple way to rectify it all. You can give up the internship for the girl. You can make up for leading an imbalanced life with one decision. Everyone is saying that these internships are hard to come by and that girls are easy, but for a hard-working yet shy guy like you, it’s obviously the reverse. Jobs and internships have floated your way all your life, I bet. But you’re only in contact with a single female outside your family. Think about that. Go after what’s hard to come by, what counts the most, for you: the girl.</p>
<p>NEVER, EVER put getting girls above your goals and aspirations.</p>
<p>I’m guessing this a cultural thing; OP must not know what’s up, because even the most socially incompetent people I know wouldn’t ask this. This girl is the only girl you know? Seems ridiculous, maybe stemming from social anxiety. Looks like I’m gonna need to rewire your brain here.</p>
<p>How could you make a life altering decision based on the fact that you know a girl? You don’t even know her well enough to know if she has a boyfriend or not. You can’t be looking to marry every girl you meet, which seems like what you have been trying to do from your past threads. Talk to LOTS of girls. Get good at it, don’t make excuses, just stop avoiding situations with them and seize the opportunity. After a while hopefully you will become accustomed to talking to girls just for fun. Relationships are nice, but especially in college, if you hold on too tightly, you aren’t living it to the fullest.</p>
<p>Regarding the current girl you are talking to, try to talk with her more often and maybe get her to go do something with you. Doesn’t have to be a date, just go somewhere and do something together. This way you can have a fling with her before carnegie mellon, and, of course, you’ll find out if she has a boyfriend or not.</p>
<p>So anyways, college is a hotbed of people looking for social interaction in addition to receiving an education. I’m not sure how you haven’t had any luck yet but no big deal. There’s no rule out there that says one can’t be smart and successful. You only live once, but take chances after you set your future straight.</p>