<p>Thank you for taking the time to read my question. My daughter is a senior this year and took the neighbor boy to school last year. Our families have grown up together for the last 20 years, so it is kind of like brother and sister. My daughter doesn't want to be responsible for giving anyone a ride this year. Last year, she told the neighbor boy that she would not be giving him a ride the upcoming year. So, he needed to start thinking about getting his permit and/or license. She even helped him with the online class. She also asked him to be sure and tell his mother about next year and that she would not be taking him to and from school. Now, here we are. School is starting and my good friend and his mom asked if my daughter could take him to or from school. I want to respect my daughter and her choice. However, we do feel bad. However, she did lay the ground work and let him know beginning 7.5 months ago. However, we don't want to hurt their feelings. However, she wants her freedom and he chose not to get his permit or license. Please chime in and let us know what you think. Thank you again. </p>
<p>This is from the parent of 2 kids with lots of carpooling experience…</p>
<p>Question…does the mother of this boy drive? If so, this should not be an issue. Let the mom take the boy to school. Is the school a long distance from home? And why do they think your daughter is the only option? Does the school bus come through your neighborhood? Are there other folks who can drive him?</p>
<p>So many times in life, we are forced to choose who (whom?) we will please. I admit, I have often times let others guilt me into doing something I didn’t want to do. Try the 10-10-10 rule…how will you and your daughter feel about saying NO to this boy after 10 minutes, 10 months, and after 10 years. Ten years from now, you may not even be in contact with this person. But you will still (hopefully) have a great relationship with your daughter. And 10 years from now, she might still remember that in a tough situation, you chose to support her.</p>
<p>It will be a difficult conversation with the neighbors, but your daughter will appreciate you backing her up. And your daughter did the right thing last year, giving plenty of notice that there would be no rides this year. Gave help to the boy, trying to get him to get his license. </p>
<p>I chose to end a long standing carpool due to some personality conflicts between riders. It wasn’t easy handling that conversation, but the relief I felt after just a few days of school was priceless.</p>
<p>Does this other kid have a car he could use? Maybe that’s why he chose not to get his license/permit.</p>
<p>But to the matter at hand, if your daughter does not want to ride this kid to school you need to sit down with the kid and his mother and tell them that sadly, for whatever your daughter’s reasons are, no means no and tell them that the boy needs takes public transportation or some other method of getting to school. </p>
<p>IMO there’s no way to diffuse this situation without some awkward/bitter feelings coming out of it. I’m sure these feelings will blow over with time, but if you want you stand by your daughter’s choice you both need to put your foot down.</p>
<p>From a high school senior, hope this helps.</p>
<p>You might do better to post this question in the Parents Forum under Parent Cafe.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your insight. It worked out very well and I supported my daughter. Happy ending!
=D> </p>