Caught stealing a quiz and showing it to friends

Hello, my best friend with excellent stats is having a really difficult time. He got a one-day suspension in his sophomore year, and now he is mourning and regretting everyday for what he did. He admits that his action was not a mistake, an intentional one. His dream school has been one of the Ivy League schools (I won’t mention the name), but he thinks he doesn’t have a shot because of his blemished record. I can see he’s trying so hard to forget what happened and move on, but as the deadline for ED gets closer, his agony seems to become insufferable. Let me explain what happened (In fact, I was an accomplice, but I don’t care because I am not interested in big name schools like him).

Our math teacher for sophomore year and my friend were hostile to each other; Since the teacher (I will call him Mr. X) did not give a 100 to my friend (I will call him Y) even though Y was the only one who really participated in the class and got 100s on all hw, quizzes, and tests, Y hated him so much (actually everyone in the class hated Mr. X and the guy got fired in a year because of his incapability.) Mr. X often frowned whenever my friend Y asked him questions. I can clearly see Mr. X hated Y. Since Mr. X was such a bad English speaker, did not fully understand his material, and was seen as an immature adult, almost everyone in my class didn’t pay attention to him. On the other hand, a lot of my classmates asked Y for help, so I think Mr. X was jealous of Y. Perhaps all of this is quite implausible, but it really did happen. Despite Y’s perfect test and quiz scores, Mr. X never gave Y a grade Y deserved. Mr. X always blamed on my active participation. ?

Y’s hatred toward Mr.X grew day by day, and one day Y stole a quiz on the teacher’s desk when Mr. X was away. Y and I went to the restroom with a few other close friends to see the quiz questions. To be honest, I couldn’t understand why Y behaved that way, but I guess Y was extremely mad on that day before class. Another thing that I don’t understand is that he didn’t steal it for himself, but for his friends. In fact, he didn’t need to steal it because he is so good at math. I am sure he could solve all the problems so quickly. I guess Y just couldn’t manage his anger on that day. Other classmates knew that Y picked the quiz from the desk, so a lot of them followed us to the bathroom. A few minutes later, we got caught by another math teacher, were sent to the principal’s office. Four kids (A,B,C,D) and I just got zeros for the quiz. However, Y, who was the best math student, got a one-day suspension for his action. On the day Y got a suspension, he cried so much on the day. I don’t think he had any intention to cheat b/c he was so good, and in fact other kids usually tried to look at his tests and quizzes. Y says he just wanted to take a revenge on the teacher. However, the principal took Y as a “theft” instead of a cheater. The idea of taking revenge on teacher may sound extremely ridiculous and reprehensible to many grown-ups. Y says that every night, the incident haunts him even though he tries not to think about it. "I often see other kids and teachers making fun of me in my dream. He always seems to regret for the action. Because of the incident, Y couldn’t do a lot of things he wanted to do such as Student Council officer. He says he has learned that challenging a teacher is never right no matter what.

My friend is so depressed these days. I try to cheer him up, but he has heard from so many people that Ivy League schools only want ppl with perfect records, which really suck for him. GOD! I wish I were his GC and could help him! The good thing is that our school’s GC and Y are so tight. “It was just a silly mistake. It can sometimes happen for everyone” That’s what the GC said when Y got suspended. The veteran GC at my school told Y that there is a solution.

Y has been my homeboy since we were in Kindergarten. I don’t want to let my friend commit suicide or do other destructive things. Prolly he doesn’t want to remind himself of the day of the suspension, but since our school reports disciplinary actions, it will be reported no matter what. He is such a hard-working student and always does his things. I have copied so many assignments from him, but I have seen him copying other peers’ hw just twice during hs. He certainly didn’t cheat, so I don’t think he has a problem with academic integrity. Or perhaps he does have a problem b/c he doesn’t mind showing his work to other peers. Do you think Y’s disciplinary action is forgivable? Would it seriously hurt his chance of getting into his favorite school? If the GC’s explanation is good, would it successfully appeal to the Admission Officers? I think he wants to apply ED there. I need sincere and detailed reply. If there’s a hope, I would tell him what he can do, but if there isn’t, I wouldn’t.

Gosh! It’s a really long story. I want to help him out… Actually, I need to.

<p>i don't understand why grown-ups can't be so tolerant. Who can suppress feelings all the time? So so stupid</p>

<p>Next time don't use X & Y, use John and Joe or something like that.</p>

<p>I don't think I will post something like this next time. Gosh! Anyone! I need to help my "bro" quick</p>

<p>Tell him to try to turn his mistake into a positive... He could use that in essay, tell about his mistake and what he has learned from it. With a mistake that's frowned upon as much as cheating, it would probably be best to put it in the open and show that he is not a cheater and that he is actually a better person because of this. Colleges will admire his willingness to admit his mistake, learn that he IS a trustworthy person, and see an explanation as to why he wasn't able to do some EC's.</p>

<p>That's just my advice, hope it helps!</p>

<p>So do u think there is a hope? My friend's GPA and SAT scores are almost perfect.</p>

<p>Sure. People DO make mistakes. It is not only infallible people that get accepted. First of all, it was his sophomore year, not his senior year. They know he has had plenty of time to change and grow up. Second, an essay about getting caught cheating would DEFINITELY stand out. He just needs to be clear that he is no longer a cheater, and in fact, the situation has turned him into a more honest person.</p>

<p>Tell him to relax, one slip will not ruin chances. He needs to buck up, and do everything he can to redeem himself, wallowing will just cause other grades to slip, he needs to not share his work, he needs to find ways to do other ECs if he can't do student council, and he needs to keep working hard</p>

<p>And people here all sorts of stuff about the IVYs...getting into one even with a perfect record in everything is tough for everyone</p>

<p>He has two years to stay on the right path and I am sure it will be okay</p>

<p>Actually, we are both rising seniors.
I think I forgot to say this.
And so far, he didn't do anything stupid again.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Y stole a quiz on the teacher's desk when Mr. X was away. Y and I went to the restroom with a few other close friends to see the quiz questions. To be honest, I couldn't understand why Y behaved that way, but I guess Y was extremely p***ed on that day before class. Another thing that I don't understand is that he didn't steal it for himself, but for his friends. In fact, he didn't need to steal it because he is so damn good at math. I am sure he could solve all the problems so quickly. I guess Y just couldn't manage his anger on that day. Other classmates knew that Y picked the quiz from the desk, so a lot of them followed us to the bathroom. A few minutes later, we got caught by another math teacher, were sent to the principal's office. Four kids (A,B,C,D) and I just got zeros for the quiz. However, Y, who was the best math student, got a one-day suspension for his action.

[/quote]
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<p>It is not so much that "Y" got suspended as much as what he got suspended for that is going to hurt him. Had he done this in college it would have been grounds for expulsion. Even at the Ivies what he did is a violation based on the premise of students having academic integrity, it violates the honor code and yes he is going to have a tough time.</p>

<p>You start off my attacking Mr X's character, he was a lousy teacher, they did not get along, blah blah blah but none of that justifies Y's behavior.</p>

<p>Yes it is going to be a mjor black mark on his record and will be indicative of his character. Colleges are going to frown on it no matter how you spin it. Stealing or cheating are both offenses that not too many schools are going to want to take that on. Yes, it's a major infraction that is going to hurt him.</p>

<p>Student needs to speak with GC principal to find out how this is going to be reflected in reports to his prospective colleges. The sooner he knows, the better off he will be .</p>

<p>Also a word to the wise regarding your statement:</p>

<p>
[quote]
I have copied so many assignments from him, but I have seen him copying other peers' hw just twice during hs. He certainly didn't cheat, so I don't think he has a problem with academic integrity. Or perhaps he does have a problem b/c he doesn't mind showing his work to other peers.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>You need to check your own behavior because doing this in college especially the ivies will get you thrown out.</p>

<p>B/C he was limited, he volunteered at some Acupuncture center. He says he's gonna write an essay about his experience as a volunteer at the Acupuncture center. He treated me with the needles when I sprained my ankle during my football practice.</p>

<p>Even if that is what he chooses to write about, I think it would be in his best interest to put the cheating thing out there. If a college sees a student got busted for cheating, he will be viewed as a cheater unless he does something to change their minds. He needs to explain that he has grown from this experience and he IS NOT a cheater.</p>

<p>I don't know about his chances, but I do agree that an essay on this topic would be a constructive step to make the best of the situation.</p>

<p>Certainly he should be willing to consider non-Ivy colleges, which he should be doing anyway, since getting into Ivies is so difficult and uncertain for anyone.</p>

<p>The bigger issue, though, to me is your friend's state of mind. IMO you should encourage him to discuss the situation with his physician in order to decide whether some sort of counseling or other psychological assistance would be in order. </p>

<p>This could be very important and I urge you not to delay. </p>

<p>If he ever mentions suicide to you, in any manner whatsoever, you MUST try to get help for him at once. There are many resources on line and by phone, for example 1-800-SUICIDE.</p>

<p>He didn't say he wants to die, but he has become a totally different person; he doesn't smile anymore. </p>

<p>I don't understand why one silly mistake makes him like someone convicted of killing 100000 people</p>

<p>Why don't ppl give chances to redeem?</p>

<p>I still remember his parents crying in front of the merciless principal</p>

<p>His GC can help him out in her rec letter but briefly explaining the situation and how he has after he matured from the incident. In my opinion, that is the best thing to do so that colleges dont get an overly bad impression on him.</p>

<p>If he is a totally different person, and he doesn't smile anymore, then he may well be suffering from depression caused or exacerbated by this incident. </p>

<p>Again, I would ask if there is anything you can do to be sure that he gets whatever help he may need. Perhaps mentioning it to the GC and asking for his/her guidance would be an idea. Other trusted adults, his pediatrician, would also be possibilities.</p>

<p>This situation could become very bad if it turns out that this one mistake prevents him from going to a top college. Now, therefore, is IMO a good time to be proactive and seek help.</p>

<p>heh. Cheating always break down when you involve other people. The best cheaters are the ones who don't brag about how efficient they are.</p>

<p>like me :) j/k</p>