<p>A young man (let's say he was 8 years old, though history
does not specify) was on his way to school one day. As he
was strolling merrily along, admiring the beauty of an early
spring day, he happened to overhear a couple of slightly
older girls talking. The conversation revolved around a
purple feather. Now, of course the young man knew what a
purple feather was, but in the context of this particular
conversation (again, history does not specify the context),
the girls could not possibly be referring simply to a
feather that was purple. So he stopped and asked them....</p>
<p>"Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."
He was a very polite little boy. "Would you mind telling me
what a purple feather is?"</p>
<p>The girls giggled to each other. Then the taller of the two
said, "Why don't you ask your teacher?"</p>
<p>So the boy continued on his way to school. When he got to
school, he contained his excitement until recess, which he
felt was the proper time to ask a non-school-related
question.</p>
<p>"Teacher, I was on my way to school this morning when I
heard these two girls talking about a purple feather. I was
curious, so I asked them what a purple feather was, and they
told me to ask my teacher. Teacher, what's a purple
feather?"</p>
<p>The look on the teacher's face was one of (if you'll pardon
the expression) shock and awe. When she finally found her
voice, she said to the boy, "Young man, you're going to the
principal's office!"</p>
<p>The boy sat in front of the principal's office, very
confused, but confident the principal could sort this out.
After about fifteen minutes, the principal called him into
his office.</p>
<p>"Now, son, we've never had any troubles before. What's all
this about?"</p>
<p>So the boy began: "I was on my way to school this morning
when I heard these two girls talking about a purple feather.
I asked them what a purple feather was, and they told me to
ask my teacher. I asked my teacher, and she sent me here. I
don't understand why, but I'd still like to know: what is a
purple feather?"</p>
<p>The principal's face became stern, his manner severe. "Young
man, you are expelled from this school! Go home this very
moment!"</p>
<p>Our hero was, as you might expect, even more surprised and
confused by his treatment at the hands of the principal.
Nevertheless, he dutifully went home. His mother, surprised
to see him home so soon, asked him what had happened.</p>
<p>He told her his story: "I was on my way to school this
morning when I heard these two girls talking about a purple
feather. I asked them what a purple feather was, and they
told me to ask my teacher. I asked my teacher, and she sent
me to the principal's office. I asked the principal, and he
expelled me from school! I just don't get it! Mom, what's a
purple feather?"</p>
<p>His mother gasped. "Young man, go to your room and stay
there until your father gets home!"</p>
<p>By this point Junior was a little concerned. He had no idea
what a purple feather was, but the mere mention of it was
enough to generate strong reactions from everyone to whom
he'd spoken. He was concerned, but he was even more
determined to find out what a purple feather was.
Finally, his father arrived home. He came in and sat down on
the bed, encouraging his son to sit next to him. He put an
arm around the lad's shoulder and said, "Your mom says you
had a rough day at school?" The tyke took this as an
invitation to elaborate, so he tried again.</p>
<p>"I was on my way to school this morning when I heard these
two girls talking about a purple feather. I asked them what
a purple feather was, and they told me to ask my teacher. I
asked my teacher, and she sent me to the principal's office.
I asked the principal, and he expelled me from school! I
asked Mom, and she sent me to my room. Dad, I'm a little
scared. I don't know what's going on. Would you please just
tell me what a purple feather is?"</p>
<p>His father's face grew red. For a long time he was silent.
Finally, through clenched teeth, he said, "Get out of my
house."</p>
<p>By now baffled, the boy gathered up a few things, and left.
He walked for a couple miles, then sat on a street corner to
rest. A police officer walking his beat spotted him and
walked over.</p>
<p>"Why aren't you in school, son?"</p>
<p>"I'm not allowed."</p>
<p>"What?!"</p>
<p>"Well, you see, I was on my way to school today when I heard
these two girls talking about a purple feather. I asked them
what a purple feather was, and they told me to ask my
teacher. I asked my teacher, and she sent me to the
principal's office. I asked the principal, and he expelled
me from school! I asked my mom, and she sent me to my room.
I asked my dad, and he kicked me out of the house! Officer,
my parents always said if I was ever confused or scared, I
should talk to a policeman. Right now, I'm both. Can you
tell me what a purple feather is?"</p>
<p>The officer's right hand went to the butt of his gun. As his
left hand grabbed the handcuffs from his belt, he said,
"Young man, you're under arrest!"</p>
<p>The boy spent his first night away from home in a jail cell.
The next morning he went before the judge. The bailiff
called his case, and the judge asked him to tell his story.</p>
<p>"Well, your honor, I was on my way to school yesterday when
I heard these two girls talking about a purple feather. I
asked them what a purple feather was, and they told me to
ask my teacher. I asked my teacher, and she sent me to the
principal's office. I asked the principal, and he expelled
me from school! I asked my mom, and she sent me to my room.
I asked my dad, and he kicked me out of the house. I asked a
policeman, and he threw me in jail! Your honor, I have no
idea what's going on here. I'll be happy to pay a fine, if
you'll just tell me what a purple feather is."</p>
<p>The judge was outraged! "No fine for you, young man. You're
going to jail for twenty years!"</p>
<p>As tends to happen in these stories, twenty years passed.
The boy, now a young man, was free. As also tends to happen
in these stories, he was still tormented by the question
that caused him such trouble twenty years ago. He sat down
in a bar to contemplate his ruined youth, and his next move.</p>
<p>The barman approached him. "What can I get....hey, why so
glum, pal?"</p>
<p>The young man said, "Twenty years ago, I was on my way to
school one day when I heard these two girls talking about a
purple feather. I asked them what a purple feather was, and
they told me to ask my teacher. I asked my teacher, and she
sent me to the principal's office. I asked the principal,
and he expelled me from school! I asked my mom, and she sent
me to my room. I asked my dad, and he kicked me out of the
house! I asked a policeman, and he threw me in jail. I asked
the judge, and he sentenced me to prison for twenty years!
It seems to me all of this could have been avoided if
someone would've just told me what a purple feather was."</p>
<p>The barkeep said, "Man, that's rough. Have one on the
house." He poured a glass of beer for our protagonist. "Tell
ya what, buddy. I heard about a purple feather. I can't say
that I know what it is myself, but I heard that the whole
story of the purple feather is spelled out just a couple
blocks away."</p>
<p>The young man did a spit take. "Really?! Where?"</p>
<p>The bartender said, "Okay, you take a right here on Third,
then you take the left fork - that's Morgan. You go four
blocks down Morgan, 'til you get to Crane. Two blocks down
Crane, there's a five-story brown building on the left.
That's an office building. Go to suite 213, and you'll have
your purple feather."</p>
<p>The man was much too excited to finish his beer. He tipped
the barman handsomely, and left the bar. He went right on
Third. He came to the fork. He took the left fork. He turned
on Crane. He could see the five-story brown building two
blocks away. He got excited. He began to run. He crossed
Oakwood against the light, and was hit by a car. He died on
the way to the hospital.</p>
<p>Moral of the Story: Look both ways before you cross the
street.</p>
