<p>I am proclaiming celibacy. My bf is back home, states away, so obviously nothing is going to happen over the summer…but that’s cool. He’ll be back in September. ;)</p>
<p>Plenty of people here are not sexually active, but usually not by choice. I think it’s okay for girls, but if guys are celibate they probably are looked at differently. No need to run around telling everyone, but most respectable guys don’t sleep with a lot of different people, usually keep it to less than 2 or 3 a year. </p>
<p>I can understand why people want to wait until marriage, because people should be in love. Sure, that’s idealistic, but I don’t have respect for people who sleep with people they don’t have feelings for. Relationships should be built on emotional connections, not physical ones. I personally don’t care what people do, it’s their business, but as a girl my views may be a bit different.
There are plenty of virgins in college and people who want to wait until they are in love or married. I don’t think it’s weird. Some people have more control than others.</p>
<p>^agree with above
I do find it annoying, however, when boys brag about how many people they’ve slept with in an effort to sound cool. </p>
<p>And to answer whoever said that the Bible says that sex is evil, you’ve obviously never read the Bible. When I read the O.T. a looooooooong time ago I felt like I had to censor it for the number of times it said “went in unto her.” And the Song of Solomon is…rather…pleasing to the senses. :)</p>
<p>I am not a Christian. However, I have chosen to wait until I marry to make passionate love to a man for as long as we both can go. I will not shun you or be a jerk because you are not a virgin. That is your choice and I shall make mine.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That’s too much, imo. I wouldn’t mess with a guy who has been with more than one or two other people. Two or three a year shows no commitment, imo.</p>
<p>Some points from the OP:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>This thread was not about lifelong celibacy of the kind practiced by certain religious orders, that is a totally separate topic, this was about abstinence.</p></li>
<li><p>I was not talking about the merits of abstinence/celibacy/sexual purity/etc. but rather how others in a college environment react to it.</p></li>
<li><p>The Bible does not say that sex is a sin, it says fornication is a sin. Crucial difference in Biblical theology. I admit it is meaningless to an unbeliever, but in Biblical theology, God created men and women to join together to become one flesh in the sight of God. It is a spiritual union, not just a physical one, and sex outside of this ordained institution is regarded as a sin. This is why sex outside of marriage is considered sinful in Christian theology–it is contrary to God’s intended purpose for sex, which is far from being trivial and far from being evil. Under the OT laws the Israelites were forbidden from touching the Ark of the Covenant, for example, but this doesn’t mean the Ark of the Covenant is evil.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The concept of sex itself being evil or shameful or whatever is purely a cultural one, not one found in the Bible. The Bible says “blessed is the man who enjoys the wife of his youth,” and “be fruitful and multiply.” Does that sound anti-sex to you?</p>
<p>But back to the real issue, what is most peoples’ reaction to a virgin in college, and how prevalent is it? On the latter, I want any hard statistics, not anecdotes. Thanks.</p>
<p>Plenty of college students are celibate. Go check out the computer science and engineering departments, and you’ll find a bunch.</p>
<p>Try talking to a girl sometime. It’s not too difficult.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m majoring in Comp Sci and I’m not a virgin. And I’m a girl. These are awful stereotypes!
Not that I’m tooting my own lack-of-virginity-horn but a lot of people in those departments are more “sexually repressed” than celibate…their personalities tend to lead to their hindered sexual experiences.</p>
<p>I completely agree with everyone about the committed relationship thing, but how long until you’re committed? Is 2 years long enough?</p>
<p>^ You are a non-virgin in the computer science department precisely because you ARE a girl. It’s a woman’s (sellers/ buyers?) market when it comes to sex.</p>
<p>And I didn’t mean to attack anyone. I was just pondering why an individual might attempt to suppress the powerful desires that are driven by basic biology (not saying either choice is superior). Being a human myself :D, it’s easy to understand some of the reasons why.</p>
<p>For instance, you expose yourself and make yourself vulnerable when having sex. If someone sleeps with you and runs the next day, you might feel used, feel like an object, or undervalued.</p>
<p>Someone can cheat on you and wreck your self-esteem.</p>
<p>Someone can become clingy/ controlling of you.</p>
<p>Plus, your self-concept changes from a person who doesn’t have sex to a person who does have sex. This is a big deal to some people.</p>
<p>Yes, there are other reasons, but as once poster mentioned he/ she could “wait til the full moon after 23 months when the tide is low” as a valid reason, well — no, I disagree. There is always a real reason someone chooses to have sex/ not to have sex. It’s not an arbitrary decision.</p>
<p>Some of the vulnerabilities that come with having sex is the same reason that (most) people on this thread seem to espouse that they only have sex within a committed relationship.</p>
<p>I used to feel the opposite, but after my experiences and feeling ‘used’ a few times – I tend to prefer meaningful sex with a person where things are going somewhere. However, I know PLENTY of people that feel differently and like to sleep around casually - and most of these people are, in fact, women, in my experience.</p>
<p>“There is always a real reason someone chooses to have sex/ not to have sex. It’s not an arbitrary decision.”</p>
<p>Well, that’s difficult to validate.
[EDIT: ignore this nonsense if desired]
I think there is such a thing as “passive” celibacy, such as in asexuals (although I am not saying all asexuals are celibate; they could have a partner and engage in intercourse for the satisfaction of their partner, even though they derive little to no satisfaction of their own). [/ignore]</p>
<p>I suppose I can actually understand some of the fascination with celibates/people who remain virgins for a long time (or forever). For the general populace, it must be a matter of some intrigue how a person could overcome what is supposed to be a driving force in “human nature” that can’t be overcome.</p>
<p>EDIT: Well, after reading about it on Wikipedia, I realized that asexuality is separate from abstinence and celibacy, but I guess as an aside it is interesting because it must provoke similar reactions to celibacy.</p>
<p>"For instance, you expose yourself and make yourself vulnerable when having sex. If someone sleeps with you and runs the next day, you might feel used, feel like an object, or undervalued.</p>
<p>Someone can cheat on you and wreck your self-esteem.</p>
<p>Someone can become clingy/ controlling of you.
"</p>
<p>and these little things called STDs</p>
<p>^Condoms and a backbone will solve all of those problems.</p>
<p>^ [Do</a> condoms really protect against STDs? - Sexual health- msnbc.com](<a href=“http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8399212/]Do”>http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8399212/)</p>
<p>and no I’m not afraid that if I touch a girl I’ll get AIDS and die. But if you’re into one-night stands you better hope the girl you’re hooking up with doesn’t have any nasties.</p>
<p>“I’m celibate, but not completely. I’m still a virgin, but wouldn’t mind having sex with someone before marriage as long as I’m in a relationship with them and the time is right for me. Some of my friends think my self-restraint is cool and the others don’t care either way.”</p>
<p>Exact same for me. I feel, if I have already held out for this long I might as well have my first time be somewhat meaningful (and not something I want to erase from my mind forever).</p>
<p>Re: condoms</p>
<p>Obviously, condoms are not a viable option for those opposed to artificial BC.</p>
<p>If someone (or better yet two people) can resist the temptation to have sex until they are married, I think that is a pretty beautiful thing.</p>
<p>I wasn’t like that, but I appreciate it. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I wouldn’t marry a virgin, lol</p>
<p>^ but you just said it would be a beautiful thing.</p>
<p>I’ve always thought that sex was suppose to be something extremely intimate. Even though a lot of people have it just to have fun, it doesn’t mean it should automatically feel right all of a sudden. We all have our various moral instincts, and some of us follow our conscience while others do what their friends to, or try to be a badass. It’s the same with drinking and smoking pot.</p>
<p>For all the people saying “there are plenty of virgins who graduate!”</p>
<p>They are wrong, if someone does not have sex before they leave, either they have no genitals, or have never left the library.</p>
<p>Having sex in college is a lot different then high school, in high school if you do it then your a deviant or pervert, if you have sex in college, you are normal.</p>
<p>Having sex in college wont make you fail, smoke pot, drink, ect. Its a tradition at Harvard to have sex between in a certain part of the library before you graduate.</p>
<p>I just honestly cant fathom why people wait for marraige, relationship, ect. You are just keeping yourself away from pleasure…its weird.</p>
<p>One man’s weird is another man’s normal.</p>
<p>I think it’s a very intimate behavior, and as such I want to have it with a person I’ve actually got feelings for. Not some drunk broad I met 2 hours ago.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>WHAT? Who did you hear that from? I’ve never heard such a thing. I’m pretty sure sex in the library is to be taken as a stereotypical joke, since Harvard people never leave the library, not to be taken literally…</p>
<p>“WHAT? Who did you hear that from? I’ve never heard such a thing. I’m pretty sure sex in the library is to be taken as a stereotypical joke, since Harvard people never leave the library, not to be taken literally…”</p>
<p>Well, you could ask the harvard administration, as they have started to put motion detectors to try and stop it.</p>