Celibacy, who else is practicing it?

Student Lounge College Life
41

<p>Of course you can get STDs - you can get STDs being a serial monogamist, as well.</p>

<p>Condoms help. Being a male helps, fair or not (less likely to receive diseases such as AIDs from intercourse). Actually talking to your partner before sex about it, when they were last tested, if they are ‘clean’ - awkward but necessary ---- assess their sexual history, or ask about numbers directly if you are feeling very ballsy or extra worried for some reason.</p>

<p>Among an educated population i.e. a fancy private university, I think it’s actually rare to find anyone with a disease — especially since most people don’t sleep around THAT much. Most people actually try to protect their health - and most of the time you have clean people sleeping with clean people or other virgins, or virgins and virgins.</p>

<p>And Extemp, let’s not be presumptuous, there are PLENTY of virgins who graduate. Especially at a place like Harvard - I mean honestly.</p>

<p>I would wager 20-25% of the graduating class at my school is made up of virgins.
I just checked one study (google 21 year old virgins) that found 15% of 21 year old’s are virgins. That’s everybody - college students would have more virgins, and elite college students as a group would have even more virgins.</p>

<p>A sex study at my school found that 49% of the school about are virgins. However, of course more freshmen than seniors would contribute to that number. Also, the study was poorly run and completed by volunteers - obviously more experienced people (non-virgins) were likely to answer the questions. There might be even more virgins there truly.</p>

42

<p>^ Sadly men are much more likely to give women STIs then the other way around. *****es are much less vulnerable than vaginas to STIs. Nature is sexist.</p>

<p>The best way to avoid STIs is to be in a monogamous relationship and get tested for STIs regularly.</p>

<p>As for casual sex, is it weird for people to engage in sex with someone they met, and then enter a long term relationship with the person? I did that and two of my best friends did that. Not that it was planned. I’m just thinking about it now and to me it seems like a good way to find out if you’re sexually compatible before you get too attached. </p>

<p>My boyfriend was a virgin until he met me and his opinion now is that waiting until marriage is stupid. It has to result in so many disappointing wedding nights. My friend’s mom put it this way: You always test drive a car before you buy it.</p>

43

<p>Granted I’ve only ever had one sexual partner but I’m not sure how disappointing sex can be? I mean it’s pretty simple stuff.</p>

44

<p>Fuuh I just got through a draining converation with an ex… maybe I don’t have the best insight, heh. Now I have insomnia.</p>

<p>^ Kaxane, I have done that. Slept with someone one night then started a relationship afterward.</p>

<p>After doing that, I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.</p>

<p>My roommate brought a girl back from a party, but they didn’t actually have sex til 3 or so weeks in, after starting a relationship. That is the way to do it, IMO.</p>

<p>If you go from one night stand > FB > relationship, there is a lot of gray area and “are we monogamous?” bs at the onset, and sets a bad frame for the relationship, I think.</p>

<p>Yes, you won’t be able to “test drive” anyone, but have you ever had sex with someone you liked, and felt immediately afterward “this isn’t good enough physically - I’m going to have to break things off.” I don’t know. Hasn’t happened with me. But I think I’m too sensitive, and care about people too much. I’m too optimistic and idealistic about human nature. I don’t treat people like they are objects satiating my needs, like godd@mn cheeseburgers you eat and then throw away the wrapper when you’re done.</p>

<p>Probably not the best beliefs to have to live in this world of animals, especially if you’re trying to protect yourself for getting hurt, but ah well. You can probably see the conversation I just had seeping in here, heh.</p>

45

<p>I’m 19, male, and a rising college junior. I too am ‘practicing celibacy,’ and this is in spite of having a very social personality and having had offers from girls to enter dating relationships with them. </p>

<p>As to the question in earlier posts of whether ‘celibacy’ signifies a religious association, I don’t think we should necessarily approach/view it like that; I think that here it’s just an alternative way to say “not having premarital sex or sex at all.” I do reaffirm that many Atheists also will adhere to “celibacy.”</p>

<p>Point: Sex (in any form) is an immensely intimate activity, and as such it’s best to save it for the one person you want to be intimate with for the rest of your life. (This decision would need to be well-informed and contemplated for a significant time before arriving at it.)</p>

<p>I personally couldn’t imagine having sex in a one-night-stand situation – there’d be no emotional connection (which is the essence of sex), and it would be painfully awkward being that exposed and physically close to someone you’ve just met. Worst yet, imagine seeing this person in public two weeks later? (And you’d be especially prone to this if it’s in a college setting.) The same goes for the superficial dating relationships rampant among teenagers and college students. Premarital sex is not something to toy or experiment with; not only can it pose health risks, it can shatter one’s emotional health and self esteem, not to mention engender other undesirable effects. </p>

<p>Lastly, the cliche we’ve all heard yet shouldn’t mind reinforcing: No form of protection can protect against STDs, which can easily slip through any contraceptive device. One could contract herpes, which as many know stays with you forever.</p>

46

<p>

Yeah, you sound like a real sweet talker. “No thank you miss, I’d prefer not to enter a dating relationship with you.” </p>

<p>

Spoken like a true religious nut. No one capitalizes “Atheists” unless they’re trying to make it a big deal – typically religious people. </p>

<p>

Golly gee, it’s called growing up. If you’re emotionally shattered from a girl who barely know, you have deeper emotional problems. I swear some of you guys live in a 1950s television show and can’t be exposed to anything that isn’t 100% SUPER DUPER POSITIVE. Wouldn’t want to shatter your innocent view of the world, would we?</p>

<p>Nevermind that you’re skipping the entire concept of a relationship. Yes, one-night stands are probably not the best thing to do. Yet according to you, it’s impossible to be intimate with someone who isn’t “the one person you want to be intimate with for the rest of your life”. Please. Again, lose the biblical rhetoric. </p>

<p>

Uhmmm… no? Condoms aren’t 100% effective, but STDs can’t “easily slip through any contraceptive device.” Stop echoing information from Bible Club: it’s wrong and biased.</p>

<p>While you’re entitled to your opinion, it’s flat out dangerous and wrong. Celibacy doesn’t work for 99.99% of the normal population (hint - go ask some priests). And condoms are pretty effective. Leave it to the religious logicians to promote celibacy and discourage condoms – and it makes you wonder why AIDs is such a problem in Africa.</p>

<p><a href=“http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7947460.stm[/url]”>http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7947460.stm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

47

<p>"Spoken like a true religious nut. No one capitalizes “Atheists” unless they’re trying to make it a big deal – typically religious people. "</p>

<p>Yes, lets get all ad-hominem to support our own world view.</p>

<p>“Golly gee, it’s called growing up. If you’re emotionally shattered from a girl who barely know, you have deeper emotional problems. I swear some of you guys live in a 1950s television show and can’t be exposed to anything that isn’t 100% SUPER DUPER POSITIVE. Wouldn’t want to shatter your innocent view of the world, would we?”</p>

<p>If you have sex with someone without a deep emotional connection you are a sociopath. Oh wow, coming up with unfounded psychological assessments is so easy! I should do it more often. Yes, spread cynicsm, not love. The world will be a much better place if we all have an equally “realistic” view of it. I think I will actually change my life goal to include slapping everyone in the face with my view of “reality.” It’s very important to the development of a normal, productive, and healthy life.</p>

<p>"Yet according to you, it’s impossible to be intimate with someone who isn’t “the one person you want to be intimate with for the rest of your life”. Please. Again, lose the biblical rhetoric. "</p>

<p>Yes, everything you disagree with is the fault of religion, which is an illogical institution, and therefore your world view is right.</p>

<p>"While you’re entitled to your opinion, it’s flat out dangerous and wrong. "</p>

<p>Yours of course is perfect and the Word of God. Oh wait, he doesn’t exist… I mean the Laws of the Universe.</p>

<p>“Celibacy doesn’t work for 99.99% of the normal population (hint - go ask some priests)”</p>

<p>Making up random statisitics! Wow, you are just full of fantastic ideas, everyone should take a page from your book. Celibacy is the cause of molestation by priests, as numerous valid studies have shown. Well, I mean, numerous anti-religious articles. Also, since it is the cause of molestation by priests, if anyone in the “normal population” tries to practice it, they have a 2.725456x higher chance of being a child molestor. True story.</p>

<p>“Leave it to the religious logicians to promote celibacy and discourage condoms – and it makes you wonder why AIDs is such a problem in Africa.”</p>

<p>Yes, the Pope’s comments in recent years is the cause of the AIDs epidemic. AIDS is relatively new to Africa.</p>

<p>You can only promote either contraceptive devices or celibacy. All opinions on celibacy should be based on the Catholic church and it’s effectiveness in that institution.</p>

48

<p>please don’t call yourself an atheist pandem. How are you any better than the so-called ‘religious nuts’ by trying to force your beliefs down their throats?</p>

<p>And yes, I’m an atheist myself.</p>

49

<p>I don’t care what religion you follow. But if your beliefs negatively impact others in a significant way, I’ve got a problem. Go tell people dying in Africa of AIDS that “It’s your fault, because you should have been a good Christian and remained celibate.” Nevermind that they were told condoms don’t work by those like the above posters.</p>

<p>Promoting false information is dangerous, period. </p>

<p>

…still didn’t answer the point I made. </p>

<p>

Condoms prevent STDs. Fact.
Catholicism advocates celibacy. Fact.
Celibacy doesn’t work for most people and is contrary to human nature. Fact.
Condoms and contraceptives would prevent AIDs from spreading in Africa. Fact.
The Pope (and catholicism) spreads an anti-contraceptive message in Africa. Fact.</p>

<p>Your opinion is…baseless. Mine is based on facts.

</p>

<p>Oh boy, I made up a statistic that doesn’t matter. Celibacy doesn’t work. Sex is natural and healthy if done safely. </p>

<p>Also, why do you think priests are molesting kids left and right? I certainly don’t know the answer, but obviously celibacy plays at least some role.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Are you really suggesting that the current pope is the first one to promote celibacy…? Don’t know how to respond to that one…</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>How am I forcing my beliefs down throats? Again, promoting false information is dangerous. Follow whatever religion you want. But don’t expect anyone with half a backbone to sit back and nod, “Well, I guess it’s their right to say condoms don’t work and celibacy is the answer.” Obviously that is not the case.</p>

50

<p>Dude, just because a person believes in celibacy doesn’t mean they think all people should stop using condoms.</p>

<p>Do you paint muslims with the same broad brush that you paint Catholics with?</p>

51

<p>I’m responding to the poster who promoted celibacy and de-valued condoms, which is typically the case. And if the Pope says contraceptives are bad, how much higher can it get? That’s hardly a fringe Catholic opinion…</p>

52

<p>I hope that there are non-religious folks that are just “waiting” in college. Furthermore, I hope that said non-religious people aren’t “waiting” just by default. :p<br>
Yep. That would be me (waiting by choice). Emotionally-speaking, I couldn’t handle it (taking into account that significant other and I would most likely break-up). Well, at least I know my limitations.</p>

53

<p>"…still didn’t answer the point I made. "
That point was directly addressing the opinion of someone other than me; I would probably not be the best person to respond to it.</p>

<p>"Condoms prevent STDs. Fact. "</p>

<p>Not 100%.</p>

<p>"Catholicism advocates celibacy. Fact. "</p>

<p>Ok, so do non-Catholic views.</p>

<p>“Celibacy doesn’t work for most people and is contrary to human nature. Fact.”</p>

<p>This is largely an assumption. I am sure most people haven’t tried celebacy. What is “human nature”, and whether “human nature” is relevant is debatable.</p>

<p>“Condoms and contraceptives would prevent AIDs from spreading in Africa. Fact.”
Yes, if enough were distributed and people were properly educated.</p>

<p>“The Pope (and catholicism) spreads an anti-contraceptive message in Africa. Fact.”
Ok, that’s fair. I personally don’t understand the anti-contraceptive message of Catholicism anyway; that’s not my point.</p>

<p>“Your opinion is…baseless. Mine is based on facts.”</p>

<p>Awesome. What, exactly, is my opinion?</p>

<p>“Oh boy, I made up a statistic that doesn’t matter.”</p>

<p>It does matter, because you are trying to use it as a rhetorical device.</p>

<p>" Celibacy doesn’t work."
Doesn’t work…how? If you think celibacy doesn’t prevent the spread of STDs, then I’m confused. </p>

<p>"Sex is natural and healthy if done safely. "</p>

<p>Ok, in most cases this is true.</p>

<p>“Also, why do you think priests are molesting kids left and right? I certainly don’t know the answer, but obviously celibacy plays at least some role.”</p>

<p>What % of priests have been proven molestors? You admit to not knowing what you are talking about, then state things as if they are proven facts…</p>

<p>“Are you really suggesting that the current pope is the first one to promote celibacy…? Don’t know how to respond to that one…”</p>

<p>No, I never said that, but the article you linked only mentioned the current pope. I think you will find AIDs in Africa has more to do with lack of sex ed. and public health services, corrupt governments that don’t care about the well-being of their general citizens, and poor education in general. To suggest that AIDs is entirely the fault of religous views spreading in Africa is fallacious at best.</p>

54

<p>I’m not going to continue this argument if playing argumentative games are your only play. It doesn’t take a statistician to realize that celibacy plays some role, no matter how large or small, in the Catholic church scandals.</p>

<p>Celibacy doesn’t work for most people. Sex is natural and healthy. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. </p>

<p>If you manage to be celibate, fine. But it’s not particularly a good thing, nor is pressing it onto other people a good thing. This is especially dangerous when you start attacking the “opposition” ie contraception. </p>

<p>AIDS obviously wasn’t caused by religion. But religion certainly contributes to the spread of AIDS.</p>

55

<p>“I’m not going to continue this argument if playing argumentative games are your only play.”</p>

<p>Huh? So if I argue with you, I am only allowed to argue on your predetermined terms? I don’t know what you mean by “argumentative games.” </p>

<p>“It doesn’t take a statistician to realize that celibacy plays some role, no matter how large or small, in the Catholic church scandals.”</p>

<p>No, but it takes scientific/psychological studies. And, even if it plays a small role… this is grounds enough for a campaign against it? I don’t see the validity of your case against celibacy unless a majority of the priesthood is engaging in untoward behavior toward children? Unless you believe this is the case?</p>

<p>Your arguments abound in the naturalistic fallacy/appeal to nature in any case.</p>

56

<p>Oh, internet arguments. Never change. Ignore the obvious common sense points and nitpick over a “lack of scientific studies.” As if one needed a study to realize repressing sexuality = bad.</p>

<p>/done arguing with you.</p>

57

<p>Thank you for losing gracefully. Apology for holding unfounded views accepted.</p>

58

<p>@pandem</p>

<p>The % of Catholic priests who are child molesters is comparable to other religous leaders, those in educational positions, and other jobs where an adult is near large quantities of children. What upsets people is how they are moved around and cases are often left unreported. Please research before you jump to conclusions.</p>

59

<p>Research is meaningless in the face of Common Sense.</p>

60

<p>You can say that again.</p>