Chances? read my why penn? essay

<p>can I get in? really worried about unbalanced SAT and low SATIIs</p>

<p>SAT: 760V 650M —> 1410
SATII: 700 Bio, 690 World history (both freshman year; mad i didnt retake)
and a horid 650 Writing (skipped the last 12 questions!! didn’t turn the page! too late to retake :frowning: ) worried this will be my downfall.</p>

<p>Average over 100 curved, 2nd in my class of 350</p>

<p>APs: 5 World history, 4 American history, 3 AP lit. now in AP Bio and Eng. Comp. (5 ap’s total; the most u can take in my school is 6)</p>

<p>Awards: Fairfeild Univ. Book Award, Kodac Young leaders award, AP scholar, V Volleyball MVP, V Volleyball Scholar Athlete Award, Principals List</p>

<p>Leadership: President of National Honor Society, V Volleyball Co-Captain, JV Volleyball captain, Rookie Volleyball coach</p>

<p>Other ECs: JV/V volleyball, club (junior olympic) volleyball, Italian Club, SADD, Peer tutoring</p>

<p>JOBs: Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robins clerk 4 months (summer job)
presently work at “Birthday Zone” organizing/running/booking childrens bday parties</p>

<p>no minority status or hope of athletic scholarship. couldn’t apply ED b/c need to weigh finincial aid options. wanna major in bio. Here’s my Why Penn? esssay: </p>

<pre><code>From the moment I set foot on Locust Walk I knew that I could spend the next four years of my life at the University of Pennsylvania. No other campus I visited invoked the feelings of comfort and ease I felt at Penn, the knowledge that I would be given the finest education and be truly cared about, as well. My eagerness to learn and to remain active inside and out of the classroom makes me an exemplary match for Penn.
I want to pursue a major in biology, and I know that Penn will provide me with the best education possible in this field. My desire to learn about this subject is insatiable; I can truly say that I have never been as happy as I am now in my AP Biology and Anatomy and Physiology courses. I have found myself perusing biology courses offered at Penn listed online, excitedly downloading exams and sample questions. My genuine enthusiasm for learning makes me a superb candidate for admissions.
This enthusiasm does not end in the classroom, however. I have participated in many activities in high school, and certainly do not plan to remain any less dynamic during my college years. I would like to continue teaching and working with children, and I am particularly interested in the West Philadelphia Tutoring Project as well as the Tutoring Center at Penn. Both are organizations that I would enjoy joining, and I will most certainly do just this should I be accepted to Penn. Not only do I possess the ability but the desire to positively contribute to the community at Penn.
In addition to being drawn to these unique programs, I am attracted to the genuine support students receive. The student body at Penn is truly cared about. Through programs like the Wheel, the Tutoring Center, CWIC and peer advisors, they are given the utmost aid and guidance, qualities I hold dear in a school. I am considering applying to medical school in the future, a decision that certainly cannot be made haphazardly. I know that sufficient guidance is essential in order to fulfill one’s vocational goals. Penn will provide me with the guidance needed to do this as well as volunteer and service opportunities.
My eagerness to learn and to contribute will flourish in the environment Penn provides. I am an exemplary candidate for admissions to the University of Pennsylvania.
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<p>do i have a decent shot???</p>

<p>your essay is pretty short, and I dont' know a lot of the sentences sound almost the same to me, vary the syntax.</p>

<p>i guess advice is useless since this is the final, sent version, but you have a faily normal shot, what are you applying for?</p>

<p>i got 640 on writing and 630 in bio
1400 SAT I
much better ecs, awards and i don't have a job :(
so you got a lot better chances than i have.
anyway, i thought the essay was very very good (that's just my opinion, coming from someone who got 640, i know that may not feel too good :P)
essay is not about length, it's about passion right?</p>

<p>i thought that the essay was a bit repetitive. a good essay should show, not tell. you just told me that you have an enthusiasm for learning. but i dont really see it. however, it looks like you have great grades, awards, and ec's. and dont worry, i had unbalanced SAT's too (800v, 680m), but i was accepted anyways. so, you definetly have a good chance. good luck!</p>