Chances/suggestions please :P

Hi everyone:
My name is Jonah, I am a Caucasian white male, my parents are both foreign (Russia and Poland) although I am fully American. I come from a big family of 8 and they mean a lot to me. I cherish my family and I come to them with all my problems/thoughts (plan on writing about family in my essay?)

I am currently going into 11th grade at a very diverse school in New York. My school is known for its kids that need financial and educational help (mostly African American, but trying to leave race out of this), but also for its 30-something AP classes and very smart kids. Our valedictorian is going to Harvard, and other high-GPA kids are going to Cornell and Yale.

As for me, my dream school is Cornell University. Sorry if this is so long, but the purpose of this is mainly for suggestions on volunteering and SAT scores.
My last two hours have been pretty good grade wise:
Freshman year- World History AP (94 in class, 3 on exam), Earth Science (99, 97 on regents), Geometry (100, 93 on regents), English honors (95), phys ed (100), symphonic band (100), Spanish II honors (95)
Sophomore year- Euro Ap (100 in class, 3 on exam), Chem honors (98 in class, 95 on regents), Algebra II and Trigonometry (100 in class, 99 on regents), English 10H (98 in class), 100 in gym, Spanish III Honors (98)

My strong suits are Math and Science, and language, while i’m not so good in history. I plan on going into the pre-med and later on to Med school (Hopefully Cornell Med or Johns Hopkins :P)

Next year, I plan on taking mostly APs- AP bio, physics, Calculus w pre calc, APUS, AP Lang, Ap spanish, Wind Ensemble (I play percussion, I had to try out for this and I ended up making it),

As for SATs- I plan on taking them as many times as possibly next year. I took a prac test in a review book and got an 1855. Not good at all but I’m studying so it will go up hopefully! My goal is over 2000. I will also take many SAT IIs next year such as Bio, US, English, and possible spanish. I will also probably take math 1 SAT II. Sen. year I will do Chem SAT and math 2.

I volunteer at a local hospital in the ER, went to Israel and did volunteer work there, I walk dogs in my neighborhood, and I plan on playing piano at a nursing home in my area (I’ve been playing for about 8 years). I am currently a lifeguard at a big pool in my area. In the fall I will start teaching swimming lessons to kids. I also plan on joining a few volunteer clubs and my school and possible Model UN with some friends.

Do you guys think “family” is a good college essay? and what should my SATs look like for a chance at getting accepted at Cornell? What are other volunteer ideas?

My main focus right now is school and I will do anything to get increase my chances to get into my reach school (Cornel, Johns hopkins for undergrad). I am also looking into some SUNYs (Binghamton) but I would much rather an ivy. Any feedback at all is great! Thanks so much! Sorry again if this is too long!

Seems like you’re a rising junior? Your grades are looking very solid so far and you’re getting good SAT scores as a sophomore on your SAT. (I got 1500s in sophomore then ended with 2030 as an official score, so you’re looking good as long as your really study).

Overall your application looks a bit plain:
-Overseas volunteering
-Work experience
-Typical clubs

Be specific about your essay, what do you mean by family? Family is a very generic topic but if you can draw a unique and impressive conclusion from your experiences, then go ahead. As for SAT, I would say a 2200 would put you into the competitive range for Cornell and other top schools.

Note that Ivies are ivies, and thousands of students have similar stats. (Near 4.0 GPA, 2200+ SATs). Try to get some extraordinary leadership opportunities or awards to really distinguish yourself from the applicant pool, Good luck.

Thanks for your feedback! I’m gonna try to look for more leadership-type volunteering. Do you have any suggestions?

My advice is to avoid using your actual name on this site. Maybe this isn’t your actual name. If it is, try to see if you can have the user named changed.

The extent to which your essay is helpful for you depends on so many factors. If you read this site you will find advice to avoid certain topics. I think that advice is absurd. You will read about how certain topics are trite or too common. That too is absurd. You will read about how the essay should be unique or how adcons are looking for “unique” essays. That too is absurd. They may be looking for “unique” individuals but not necessarily “unique essays”.

Nobody can say what makes for a winning essay. That is because reliability of ratings across essays is likely to be very low. Even reliability within raters across time is likely to be very low. This holds true for students accepted at places like Harvard too. Just because a student was admitted does not mean the essay was good. I’m sure there are plenty of Harvard students admitted with terrible essays.

Consider all the factors that play a role in how a particular essay may be rated. It’s not just about grammar and topic. It is also about the mood of the rater when he or she reads the essay;The fit of the essay to the student’s credentials and goals; the organization of the essay; the choice of words; the tone. And on and on. Just give it a shot and go from there. It is probably not that important compared to all the other materials you will be evaluated on.

Your job isn’t to entertain the reviewers, or to come up with the one essay topic that has never been submitted. You job is to provide the adcons with information to help them determine if there is a fit between your credentials and the school. And unless your application puts you in the iffy category for a particular school,it may never be read by anyone.