<p>So my passion has always been to become a doctor. Grades-wise i am doing great. BUT my heart is not in it, and it shows. I dont want to let down my parents and was wondering how i could break the news to parents/family that is science based?</p>
<p>Just tell them you’re not interested in being a doctor but are more interested in … If your parents have an issue with it - it’s really their issue. You need to go where your interests are. And look at it another way - would you want to go to a doctor who only became a doctor so as not to disappoint the parents and doesn’t like what they’re doing and whose heart isn’t in it? I’m sure there are some around, expecially with ‘Tiger’ parents griving them, but I sure wouldn’t want one to be my doctor.</p>
<p>Pinkstuffz, listen to your heart.</p>
<p>I sometimes have dr appts at a university teaching hospital, and often a med student will tag along with the dr. Recently the med student was a girl who CLEARLY did not want to be there. Very disinterested, looked very sad. Now, maybe she’d been up all night or just broke up with her bf or something, but my distinct impression was that her ‘Tiger’ parents pushed her onto the med school route, purely because she ‘could’ do it (and they wanted to be able to say, “My daughter’s a doctor.”) Is it really worth doing what you dislike for the next 30+ years?
What other things might you enjoy doing?</p>
<p>Pink, I can’t imagine going into the debt and years of schooling of medicine if you don’t like it. First, try to make sure this isn’t a temporary feeling, because of a hard class or depression. What else are you interested in doing?</p>
<p>Thanks. I have been feeling this way for a few months now. I am really interested in social justice, public health and lobbying. The thing is, these are not practical at all. And i just dont know how to start the conversation or if i should just stick it out and maybe fall in love with med. in residency or somehing. And i had a discussion with a professor and she said that she doesnt see the drive in me for it, but sees me in the other areas. I just dont want to fail: i heard tons of stories of premed quitting and i said that would never be me. I can handle the classes and am in the top 5-10% in all the prereqs, but its torture. I loathe labs and hate the sciences.</p>
<p>Every county, city and state has a Dept. of Public Health. It’s quite practical, imo. In addition, there are countless non profits which deal with public health issues and lobbyists who advocate for these groups on Capital Hill and at state capitals all over the country. </p>
<p>Look into the programs offered at the top grad schools for public policy (Harvard, Syracuse, Chicago, Texas) and see what types of jobs their graduates get.</p>
<p>Be honest with them. Simple as that. Don’t over think it.</p>
<p>Physician here. I chose medicine over grad school (chemistry major) decades ago, recently a friend who did the converse wondered if she should have gone my route- I sometimes wonder if I should have gone hers, but then remember why I made my decision. </p>
<p>The best time to choose is at your stage. There are reasons premed is an intention, not a major. If you don’t like the thought of medicine now you won’t later. It involves a lot more of the same labs and sciences forever. You will have wasted at least a decade of your life being miserable, not to mention the money wasted. The fields you mention do have highly practical uses- there is a lot more to taking care of people than just being the traditional doctor or nurse.</p>
<p>You have spoken with a professor- use the knowledge of where your interests as well as strengths lie to plan your future. Use the backing of your professor to tell your family your apparent change of heart (your heart was never really in it I suspect). I am so happy for you. You are willing to grow and change instead of letting childhood dreams determine your future. Reminds me of why cliches exist- the one “Never say never” applys to you. Move forward and be thankful you saw the light now instead of pursuing a dream you should discard.</p>
<p>Years later you can say you could have been a physician if you had liked it, but you didn’t. Some physicians will envy you for having made that decision. You will likely be happy with what you chose and never even think about it. There’s a LOT more to life than being a physician. No failure to change course. H and I are physicians who tell those who ask about our son that he is too smart to be a physician.</p>
<p>Your parents will adjust to the nonscientist in the family. It is harder to do something they don’t know as much about and harder when they don’t understand your love of nonscience like they probably love science. You may even find they don’t like their fields as much as you thought- they just got so deep into them it was impractical to switch. They may have yielded to family pressures in their day.</p>
<p>Use the freedom you have to choose the field best for you. Huge load off your mind- free to enjoy the rest of your college years (and life). Pick those fall classes to major in what you really want to.</p>
<p>Good information here from the posters. As a parent of a “I think I’d like to be a doctor” child, here’s what I’ve done. My DS has said ever since he was 6 years old that he wanted to be a doctor. Hasn’t wavered an ounce until he took chemistry and LOVED it. So instead of pre-med (although not really a major) he’s majoring in chemistry. Still eyeing being a doctor.</p>
<p>I’ve told him repeatedly that I would love for him to pursue his dream. But I’ve also told him that if his dream changes, that he should be happy to change directions. I don’t want him to feel locked into something because that’s what he always said he’d do. I have told him the same thing about college–if he goes to his dream school and then realizes that it isn’t where he is supposed to be then he can change schools.</p>
<p>It’s all about doing what you are passionate about. You won’t do well in something you don’t enjoy. I’m sure your parents want you to be happy and pursue a career you will enjoy. Talk to them–they may not have said anything to you since you seemed to be on a path that you loved and they thought you were happy with your choice.</p>
<p>Alright, i will try talking to them but its just so hard to give up something you worked your whole life for (Told my parents i would be a doctor since i was 3 and never questioned it till this past year, when reality hit). I mean i have the shadowing and volunteer hours, MSAR books and read hundreds of pages about life as a doctor. I even have the excel spread sheets of my application process for summer 2013! And i just feel that i have a short amount of time to make a decision. Freshman year is almost over… And i read somewhere that lobbyist are usually the first to get cut when the economy fails. I am also a very practical person and like having a plan and security. I know for sure if i go, i will get a job and have an idea of my income, lifestyle, ect… Switching, i would have to start from square one, with an unknown future. I HATE THE UNKNOWN. I love plans, structure. And i am terrified of being a dissapointment.</p>
<p>Pink: My D has wanted to be a geneticist since she was in 7th grade (not quite as long as you have wanted to be a doc, but still…) and I would much rather her find out before she went all the way through college that her heart isn’t in it or her interests have changed. A lot of people change their minds, so don’t feel like you are a disappointment. Your parents will just want you to be happy. If they are initially disappointed, its not with you…its with what they wanted FOR you.</p>
<p>Pink…I was set to be a classical musician from a young age. The hours that you spend in labs, I spent in lessons and competitions and practicing. I auditioned for and was accepted to a top conservatory…and my parents sat back and sighed happily, waiting for the symphonic professional to emerge.</p>
<p>About 2 years in, I realized that wasn’t “it” for me. I had a hard time telling my parents, too, especially my very religous mom who felt that my music was a gift from God and it would be a sin not to use it. But they still loved me…and supported me.</p>
<p>I foundered around for a little while, because I had been SOOOOO focused on music, to the exclusion of everything else, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I worked for about a year while I figured it out…and “it” turned out to be special education.</p>
<p>I’ve taught for over 20 years now, and it’s been such a good thing. I sing with my students, but I also sold my oboe a couple years ago (to fund my daughter’s dreams…of performing…but she knows that if it ever stops being her dream, that’s okay, too). </p>
<p>It was HARD to change gears, hard on my parents, hard on me. But ultimately the best thing I could do. Good luck to you as you figure it out.</p>
<p>Pinkstuffz – this is why it is called “growing up”…growing is a change process…you have grown and changed – its normal…so acknowledge the change and follow your new direction.</p>