I’m only a sophomore in high school, but I’m terrified. My parents really want me to be a doctor, and I just know that I can’t be one. I just don’t WANT to. I have no motivation to pursue that career. Maybe something else in medicine…I don’t know. I know I wouldn’t make it through medical school since I have no interest in it. The worst part is that I don’t know what job I DO want. It has to be just as well paid and regarded, for my parents to accept it. The thought honestly brings me to tears, I don’t want to be a disappointment, and I want to just do what my parents want, but at the same time, I know it’s my life, my choice, and my effort. However, maybe I’m too young. Do I still have time to figure this out? I feel like all my friends know what they want to do. Your job is the majority of your life, and I don’t want to spend it on something I don’t enjoy
I guess, an orthodontist sounds interesting, as well as a career in neuroscience. But I don’t know. It needs to be a secure, high-paying job, with a good reputation.
Relax. You don’t need to know now if you are only a sophomore in HS. Your job right now is to do the best you can as a high school student, and maximize your learning, academic record, as well as extra-curricular involvement in areas that genuinely interest you. Basically, do the best you can to keep as many doors open for yourself as possible.
Show them this thread, please. There is no need to worry, and I am sorry that you are feeling pressured at such a young age to do things you have no interest in. Parents, if you are reading this, this is a great example of what you shouldn’t be doing to your 15 year old child.
@monibonnie , please try not to worry. You don’t need to know at this age what you want to be. I didn’t know what I wanted to be until last year, and I am a grown woman with a child starting college soon. I would say my life has been very successful. You are under no obligation to decide the course of your life right now. All of your friends don’t know what they want to do, and if they say they do, they will undoubtedly change their minds a hundred times before they start doing it. Or maybe they are just saying things to fit in with their friends too.
Being a teacher is a secure job with a great reputation. So is being a nurse. Being an electrician or a plumber pays very well and is secure. Being an engineer is too. Being a scientist, or an orthodontist, or a botanist, or a historian, or a seismologist, or an English professor, or a musician, or whatever you want are all respectable careers that will make you happy depending in where your interest lies. People who are happy in theri jobs tend to do well with them,and eventually can make plenty of money. For now, focus on doing well in school, but be sure to do some things that interest you, too. When you get to college you can explore your interests further. You don’t need to declare a major for a very long time from now, so use the next few years of your life to discover what really interests you, not what you think your parents might find acceptable.
Meanwhile, please have a heart to heart talk with your parents and explain how the pressure they put on you is making you unhappy and anxious. Or show them this thread, as I said, or write them a letter. If they continue to do this, I suggest talking with your school counselor, or a trusted aunt or uncle or grandparent who could maybe talk to them on your behalf. Best of luck to you.
It sounds like your parents don’t really understand the educational and career options available. Also, many doctors are actually pretty unhappy in these days of managed care and insurance control of health care. There are some good books on this out there.
You are only a sophomore. You do not have to worry about this. In fact, some students don’t even decide on a major until the end of sophomore year of college and many who initially want to be doctors change their minds.
Are your parents immigrants? Is there a cultural basis for this? Can you talk to an advisor who understands their attitudes and can mediate?
There are many careers that will give a reliable, high enough income. Some don’t fall in neat categories. When you go to college, try to volunteer or intern so that you have some exposure to work situations.
Do you like computer science? Literature or history? What are your real, true interests at this point. High school is a time to explore and enjoy. Premature planning interferes with that. You need outside help with your parents I think. They need some education.
In college, there is no such thing as a “pre med” major. You can major in whatever you want to major in…and if your parents insist, take the required courses for med school admission as well.
You will also need to take the MCAT.
And you will need to apply to med schools…but that is MANY years in the future, and a lot could,change.
Nothing to worry about. This path is way too brutal. To survive, you need to be extremely dedicated, which is not expected of one who does not want to be on this path to begin with. You will not need to worry about medical school…it will not happen…
@MiamiDAP, until a few years ago, I would have agreed with you. It seemed to me as though only the truly dedicated ended up as doctors.
Then a friend of one of my kids, while still in high school, started telling people she was planning a career in medicine – mostly to shut people up. This young person did not have a strong interest in medicine but didn’t find it especially objectionable, either, and there was a lot of parental and community pressure to make a good career choice. Moreover, her academic background was strong enough that medicine was a realistic goal.
Fast forward a few years. This young person, who happens to be very talented academically, completed college with good enough grades to get into medical school, got good MCAT scores, completed medical school, and is now a 2nd year resident at the hospital that was her #1 choice.
Yet I still wonder whether this is the career she would have chosen if she had felt free to make her own decision, with no pressure from others.
Marian,
Your case is a great exception. I am a mother of the " 2nd year resident at the hospital that was her #1 choice.". My D. did not meet anybody like one who you described, not a single person like this, not at college, not in medical school. not in either of her 2 places of residency. The person in your post must be a genius with above average aspects of personality that are outside of intellectual ability, like emotional, physical, social…It is a great blessing to be this way, but most simply do not possess these various abilities at that level. Hopefully, OP is this way, but it seems to be unrealistic to expect that. Great to hear that some are having it easy way though, good for her!
As others have said, do well in school now and don’t worry about your future at the moment. Understand your parents mainly want you to be successful in life - they care about your future and possibly their reputation. But neither you nor they are setting in stone what you’ll be doing in the future.
Meanwhile, just keep your eyes open at all the gazillion possibilities out there. Figure out which subjects in school you genuinely enjoy and pick one of them for your major when it comes time to figure out colleges. Start in that field and still keep your eyes open. Most college students figure out what they really want when they’re in college at some point - they see something intriguing and head that direction. I’ve seen some 180 degree turns from students who went in thinking one thing and ended up doing another that they loved much more.
Once you’re at THAT point, you can show mom/dad how you’re going to be successful in what you’ve chosen. Rarely are parents disappointed. It can happen, but not often enough to worry about it now. Right now just keep your parents satisfied that you will be successful and occasionally drop a hint or two at other things if you find things you like. (If not, don’t worry about it - again - most find these things in college, not high school.)
If your parents won’t budge and insist that you pursue the pre-med track as a requirement of paying for college, remember that pre-med is not a major but a series of roughly 8-10 courses, concentrating on biology, chemistry, math, and physics that prepare you to take the MCAT. That leaves a lot of room for the major of your choice, which does not have to be science-related.
Hopefully, you can resolve this situation with some open communication. Good luck!
As MiamiDAP says, there is absolutely no way to force someone to attend medical school. Your parents could pressure you financially into applying, but they hold no power to make you write a good personal statement or do well in interviews. Half of all med school applicants don’t get in anywhere; if you’re part of the rejected half, there’s nothing your parents can do.
Right now, in HS, you should take the usual English/History/Science/Math/Foreign Language courses and take as high a level as you can (and still do well). You should also take some electives that might let you explore things you are interested in. So if Math is your favorite subject maybe you take an extra statistics class. Or if you love science, you take a Forensic Science course…or for English a Creative Writing course, etc. Find out which area you are the most interested in…this will help you figure out a focus.
If you have no idea if you are interested in medicine, then you can volunteer at a hospital to get exposure.
Or you could see if you can volunteer in other areas (helping with middle school robotics team, at the library) to see if those are interesting.
Another thing you can do is to tell your parents the next time they bring up being a doctor “You have mentioned many times that you would like it if I became a doctor, but at this point I don’t think that I am interested in a medical career. Everything I have read says “Don’t go into medicine if you can imagine yourself doing anything else” and I am definitely not there. I understand you hope i find a major that leads to a stable, well paying job and I have that goal as well. It would be great if you helped me explore X (e.g., Engineering, Business, Accounting, Writing, etc etc) as I am interested in that area.”
" Half of all med school applicants don’t get in anywhere" - I heard of a bit different statistics - 60% don’t get in anywhere and there are good number of people who are applying in multiple cycles, as an extreme case (on another spectrum of exceptional), I personally know one who applied 6 times and finally got in. There is group who quit applying to American Medical schools after couple of unsuccessful application cycles and instead apply abroad, specifically, I heard about Caribbean Medical school and the one in Ireland. Also, keep in mind that these 60% apparently were approved by their respective pre-med committee, so they are not your average college graduates, they are exceptional bunch (not geniuses, but exceptionally hard working people) who achieved at least 3.6 college GPA and a decent MCAT score and done all medically related ECs just to be on at least some kind of minimum footing with everybody else out there.
I agree with one thing that I believe the OP’s parents have in mind. There is no other job out there that provides the same level of job security as MD. It may change, but as of now, it is the case. And that is what I told my kid when she was about 15 y o. I told her honestly that I have changed my jobs 9 times and it also takes certain personality to be able to lift yourself up from the brink of depression and push thru time and again. But another honest side of it - I love what I do and it is hard to imagine how anybody would stick to anything somewhat challenging if they do not love it.
I have seen it happen enough to people I know: a high salary does not always lead to satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness. In fact it often leads to the opposite. Something to reflect on the next few years.
Exactly, snarlatron. However my point in the previous post was not about salary size, but rather about having ANY salary vs not having any, I mean having job or not having one. I was out of work 9 times, it is not a good situation to be at all, very depressing, more depressing than having a job that you do not like. Something to keep in mind when choosing your field of study at college.
Actually, your parents can’t force you to attend even if you’re accepted. But at that point, there might still be some college bills left to pay, and they could refuse to pay them.
