Anyone who fails to exploit any and all connections is a fool. It’s the worst advice ever in the history of bad advice.
Remember, the schools don’t care about you. Your kid is fungible. If you need FA, do anything and everything you can to put yourself and your kid in the best position. Don’t wait for any help from a possible connection. Ask for it. Explain why it would be beneficial to you AND how it would be beneficial for your connection to step in. Don’t be shy. Make your case. Be charming. Be logical. Be something helpful, but don’t under any circumstances fail to work every angle. If you’re a FA family, you are already in the most difficult situation for admissions. All anyone can do is say no, but that is much better than pretending they were going to intercede because they’re wonderful mind-readers who somehow have your best interest at heart.
Also understand that being a family requesting FA makes you an unusual applicant. Be extremely careful about the source of any advice you’re given. The standard admissions rules don’t apply to you; don’t pretend that they do. You’re in a different world. Act accordingly.
Today is not late, necessarily. If you’ve done the test or made the appointment, talked to teachers about the possibility of recs, and made some visits, this is doable. Two months is plenty. If you are deciding over Thanksgiving to apply this year, figuring out what schools you might want, arranging the requisite testing, and haven’t even considered an app or any recs, that’s late. Many schools will interview right up till the deadline. Gotta take that test. Gotta give the teachers a chance to write recs, especially public school teachers who are probably busier and are not employed as professional recommendation writers. Having a narrow focus might be beneficial. But if you’re already in process, you can add new schools to the mix now no problem.
@CaliMex - I’m still laughing… 
I would only add that you should know the “connection” well. Some "connections " can potentially do more harm than good. And, how can you possibly know that unless they’re family or a close family friend who you would gladly vouch for in a heartbeat.
I know this is Common Sense 101 for most folks, but steer clear of all acquaintances on this one. 
That is all…
I think @PhotographerMom just told me that even if I wanted to exploit her as a connection, I probably shouldn’t. Darn. Here’s hoping that one of the two ridiculously competitive schools my daughter loves might be willing to accept her and provide FA without connections… or that I might persuade her to apply to a school where she might have a better shot at admission!
I love you.
I completely agree with @GoatMama & @GMC2918 My DS has the exact same experience as yours. He Had idolized a few schools—until the interviews/visits with students there. And those schools fell way out of favor. I think he kept his application process going for them because 1- they are very prestigious and well-known schools and 2-he thought he was casting a wide net by keeping them on the list. Just as @GoatMama & @GMC2918 indicate, huge waste of time. I think our time would’ve been better spent researching School much more like the “dark horse” that was near the bottom of the list but rose to the top after interviewing. (For the same reasons you mentioned—everyone saying hello to each other, waving, parents meeting parents in the admissions office to answer questions and help out, etc). Now is the perfect time to switch gears or alter the paths a bit…don’t waste time if he can’t see himself being happy at those places. He will have to live there 24/7—how miserable would it be in a place you don’t particularly feel right about to begin with. I definitely vote for the cut bait in this scenario!
@PhotographerMom : Do you love me enough to provide advice over PM?
You bet I do! It’s in your box!!
@calimex Puhleez get her to apply to more than two, and try to keep her from loving any school too well.
Working on it!
In her defense, she has the qualifications to attend our local, test-in, academic magnet public school. So she has a very strong local back up if boarding school doesn’t work.
We are applying to boarding schools because we care about character development as much ( or more) than we care about academics. She is an incredibly kind and thoughtful human being and I worry that in a competitive and enormous (3000 kids) school those qualities won’t be nurtured or valued.
(Apologies to OP for hijacking)
Just wanted to post a follow up - based on the advice in this thread, we broadly expanded our search to include schools we hadn’t been thinking of, and while a few of those additions didn’t seem like a great fit, we had a fantastic visit at NMH. During that same trip, we visited two of the big name schools, and DS hated one and strongly disliked the other. I’ll add my voice to the chorus on here that the fit is much, much, much more important than the name.
On a related note, listen to what the students talk about. It was almost comical - at both the schools he strongly disliked, the guides repeatedly mentioned how prestigious the school was, and how it was “among the best in the world” - yet never touched on their own experiences of intellectual or personal growth. In the waiting rooms, it was more of the same posturing - “We’re excellent because we’re XYZ school,” not “We’re excellent because of these specific things we do well.” At the two schools he has loved, we heard multiple students talk specifically about the ways they have been challenged, how they’ve grown and broadened their horizons. The contrast has been startling, to say the least.
DS is a tour guide at his school…now I wonder what he talks about while giving tours…I hope people choose the school because of their interactions with him and not the opposite! X_X :))
@momof3nyc , so glad your “re-routing” strategy is bearing fruit. Great life lesson in there, too, for your son about listening to his gut and changing what’s not working (with support from mom!) =D>
I’m sure he does well! I wish there were a way to provide constructive feedback to AOs about the tour guides - we’ve had some wonderful guides (for whom it was easy to sing their praises to the AOs), but we’ve had had some that were not great, and a couple that were downright bad. One in particular was unbelievably negative and skipped large portions of the tour because he was late starting the tour. I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything to the AO, but feel like they should be aware that he’s not representing the school well.
I agree with @gardenstategal . I wish we’d have listened to our guts and changed our list when we realized several of those "prestigious " schools were not for us…kudos to both of you for figuring it out now and especially for doing something about it!