<p>Have any of you had to deal with some major "blips" in your educational path? My son got kicked out of a disastrous boarding school in March of his soph year do to a combination of factors- some his issues, some the school's. None of the issues were academic. He spent a year in a very structured boarding school with good academics and a strong support system and was admitted to a top prep boarding school in the NE where he is doing a 2nd junior year and will do a senior year. His academics were strong throughout all this upheaval. His emotional growth has been impressive, and he is regarded as a mature young man and a strong contributor to his current school. He is also likely to be a recruited runner which he will use to help him get an edge for some top schools. Everyone on this board seems so exceptional- any situations similar to ours? Thanks. Karen</p>
<p>If you haven't already, read "the Gatekeepers" for a discussion of what a checkered past can mean - who knows how "fictionalized" it is. My uninformed two cents is that this might be one of those occasions for more apps rather than fewer. I'm sure that doing well at a NE prep school and being recruited for a sport has got to help, but who knows how much. Who knows what really goes on around that conference room table, how the people reading the app will feel that day?
More important for your son over the course of his life is what did he learn from this experience, did he grow and become a wiser more mature person (from what you've written, it sounds as if he has). If he was my son, I would say learn as much, absorb as much as you can from your new prep school experience, and let the college chips fall where they will - some people will see beyond it, some won't.</p>
<p>All of my boys have had a "rap" sheet attachment to their applications. Without lying on the application or leaving that question pertaining to trouble blank, there was no way around it. It may have hurt them (or will hurt him) at some schools. It may also be the most interesting piece of reading the adcoms will have.</p>
<p>There are also schools that do not ask the "bad boy" questions, and I would suggest applying to a few of those schools as well.</p>
<p>Cangel has some good advice as to how to handle the essays needed to explain the situation. Kids who have had a checkered past can learn from their experiences and be better people for their mistakes. It seems to me that he has redeemed himself to some degree being in a good prep school despite his disciplinary record.</p>
<p>I think the key is if the student has already shown that they can learn from their challenges, then the schools will see that as a way to add a student who has had difficulties and grown from it.
Different than say to have heavy senioritis and then expect the college to believe that you will have gotten it out of your system by fall.
I</p>
<p>Jamimom-</p>
<p>I think I must be too immersed in pop culture becasue when I read you mention "Bad Boy Sheet" in another thread, I thought "bad" meant "good" (as it would if you were talking to some teens).....and I thought the "bad boy sheet" was his brag sheet. Now I see it really IS bad...as in bad.....not bad as in good. </p>
<p>Likewise, when I read "rap sheet" I thought it meant "rap" as in "talk", as in explaining their accomplishments.</p>
<p>No more MTV for me!</p>
<p>Yeah, I thought "Bad boy sheet" was just, you know, the "stuff" that bad boys do!! I don't do that sheet, but some boys do!! LOL</p>
<p>That is an attachment or supplement that you really don't want to have to add to the application! I make lighter of it than I should, because otherwise I would cry. Nope, not a brag sheet. It is a required explanation to the question "Have you ever been expelled, suspended or put on probation? If so please explain the circumstances." Most private schools do have that question. There is also the "felony" or "misdemeanor" sheet. If you have that sort of stuff in the resume, this is where it needs to go. You need do do a "mea culpe" and then explain how you have learned, grown from the experience. The more specific examples you can give the better. Like a stupid prank that leads to trouble while on the football team, to captain of the team as a senior. Or working with disadvantaged children who are difficult giving you new insights on former insolence that led to all kinds of discipline.</p>
<p>Always good advice here. I think I can add something helpful. I was in a discussion recently with our enormous high school principal, who is a very bright and well qualified guy, and what he said was that most colleges do not look at trouble a student has gotten into unless it involves either drugs or a weapon offense. Then the student may be scruntinized very carefully.He said it will be very plain on the application, some want to know everything but most do not care unless it's weapons or drugs.</p>
<p>BHG - Is your school enormous or the principal? Sorry, that mental image gave me my first laugh of the day. Thanks. </p>
<p>A friend's son was suspended for 1 day (along with 3 others) for something rather innocuous. Their principal told her to have him explain exactly what happened and state that such activities will not be repeated.</p>
<p>I can relate to this one......my son had a suspension at the beginning of his senior year that was not serious in the scheme of things, but worrisome from the college admissions standpoint. He applied early action to his favorite school, a large state university that can be difficult to get into. We were
relieved to learn recently that the suspension was "cleared" from the university's standpoint, meaning that it will not be considered in the admissions decision. </p>
<p>We too were told that because it did not involve violence or drugs it would not likely have any impact. Seems that's true, although he doesn't know yet whether he will be accepted or not. But if he isn't, I'm now confident it won't be the suspension that hurt him.</p>
<p>It was very encouraging to see that the university did review the issue and his statement. I guess I'm a skeptic--among thousands of applicants, they actually DID look carefully. Restores my faith in the system. And hopefully,
this will mean that the other schools he applies to (much smaller institutions)
will spend the time to review the circumstances and not arbitrarily reject him
out of hand for such a minor offense.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all the comments and advice. My son's issue was not drugs or weapons, so I feel better about that. I really think the situation can be used to his advantage, but there is no doubt that it will turn off a school or two. The expulsion happened in March '03 and high school graduation will be in May '06. The NE prep school (and a few others) were willing to admit him, so hopefully the colleges will be..... Never easy! Karen</p>
<p>Not to sound unethical, but all my indescretions of my life are omitted from all applications. I consider every thing a minor traffic violation. Yes 2 DUIs that are both over 6 years ago (started young) are not on me record. Never put anything on any application ever that would put up a red flag. Think about it, would you accept someone to a college/hire this person for a job if they put down DUI under offenses? If there sucky ass records check can't find it, they don't need to know.</p>
<p>Joev, I work in human resources, and if we find that someone lied on their job application or resume they are escorted from the building that day-- no if's and's or buts. Don't assume that because someone doesn't find you out before you're hired that you're home free; a bank can call to verify your salary because you're refinancing your mortgage or leasing a car which can trigger a check of the DMV or your criminal record in any jurisdiction you've lived in recently.</p>
<p>If asked if you've been arrested and you have, the answer is "yes" and then explain. If you lie on a job application you can be fired, and if you lie on a college application, your degree can be revoked years later.</p>
<p>joev- There is a specific question on many of the apps about whether you have ever been suspended or expelled from a school. It is hard to not answer that truthfully since it will probably come back to bite you. All it takes is a mention in a rec or something about how you have overcome the past...... Drinking in the dorm freshman year can be left off, but a suspension/expulsion has to be addressed.<br>
Karen</p>
<p>joev:
To add to your comments regarding not communicating this information....
in addition to many of the college applications themselves asking for this
information directly, MANY of the guidance counselor forms also ask the
same question. You certainly wouldn't want the guidance counselor to
report an incident that you didn't already share and explain.</p>
<p>If I were a university, beyond weapons issues, my biggest concern would be with an academic integrity violation...</p>
<p>One more question- in my son's case, the explanation of what happened and the demonstration of what he learned and how he has moved forward will take more than a paragraph. In fact, it winds up being 2 pages and anything less really hurts the discussion. Will this lengthy explanation (which really amounts to a very effective essay) be considered a negative? I know it is a little bit of a risk, but giving a less than complete explanation seems more risky. Thanks. Karen</p>
<p>Karen-- perhaps you should ask the GC to write a paragragh or two to explain the facts and provide the context... then your son can write the actual essay with the theme of what he's learned and how he's grown up. Will help make the essay more readable, and will give it some "legitimacy" hearing the facts from an official.</p>