<p>DittoX19. </p>
<p>10char</p>
<p>I have to agree with the other posters here. I don’t feel it is the RAs responsibility to check on the student either. But here is my BUT.</p>
<p>The dorm we chose for our daughter at a public university was actually a private dorm. Not only are there RAs here, from Friday at 5:00 (when admistration leaves) to Monday at 8:00 when they come back, there is a house mother at the dorm. (Also a security staff 24/7) In this case, this would be the house mother’s responsibility, and I, as a parent would expect for a child who is that sick to be looked after. This dorm also has “sick” rooms for either roommates of sick students or sick students themselves to stay with their moms. Yes, moms can come for as long as necessary and stay with a very ill child. It is why we chose the place. But honestly, if my daughter was at Public U dorm, my expectation would have been zero.</p>
<p>As a student I would never think of having my RA come check on my if I was sick. I was sick for a couple days over the past week or so and kept taking cold medicine, getting enough sleep, and drinking fluids. I am in college now and don’t need someone to watch over me when I am sick. If I was in a more serious condition I would ask a friend to check on me every couple hours or head home for the weekend to get the rest.</p>
<p>You indicated that you sent the first email to the RA at 10 pm. I don’t know that I’d go bother a sick student at 10 pm - I’d assume she was sleeping and let her sleep. </p>
<p>Maybe things are different today - my H was an RA and checking up on a sick student who was just resting in bed and riding it out just wouldn’t have been part of the job description.</p>
<p>I think that if the parent asked the RA to please email or call her if she felt that this wasn’t part of the job responsibility, then it would not be unreasonable to expect that the RA would either email or call the parent, so that an alternative could be pursued before morning. The RA did forward the message to a person who was there 9-5. It couldn’t have taken that much longer to email the parent.</p>
<p>My concern would be a case where a student actually had meningitis. I have not heard of meningitis masquerading as strep, but it can certainly seem like flu or a bad headache. Time is of the essence in treating bacterial meningitis. You wouldn’t want to wait overnight. </p>
<p>As far as I understand, the vaccination against meningitis is effective against several of the most common strains, but not against one of the others. (Is it A and C that it’s effective against, but not B? I think there are some knowledgeable people in this forum.)</p>
<p>The RA actually was pretty smart to forward the e-mail I thought. That was the right thing to do and I could imagine some RAs just blowing off an e-mail which could have caused even more problems in the long run. </p>
<p>You know, I can somewhat understand if the OP is a stay at home this might be the first time they had a sick child they weren’t with. From my perspective and perhaps a good percentage of the posters we are working parents and once our kids are 16 or so and they have to stay home from HS because they are sick with crud they stay home alone so we’re “used” to the idea of kids tucking themselves into bed and getting their own juice and meds and food while we’re not there and the idea of them being in a dorm room with friends and access to health services isn’t quite so foreign of a concept.</p>
<p>I don’t think the RA did anything wrong. Your daughter was checked on by the RA late in the afternoon. Some students (like my daughter) have evening classes or labs or study groups to attend.</p>
<p>I’m not clear on what the emergency was at 9:30 that night. If there was an emergency, wouldn’t your daughter have called 911 for help?</p>
<p>I’m sorry your child is sick. However, your ideas and expectations are not reasonable or realistic. Yes, I have been in your shoes in a similar situation. Usually the friends step in to help when needed. I hope your child has some friends that can help her cope next time.</p>
<p>The need for an RA to “check on” a sick student doesn’t make much sense today with cell phones and email. If OP’s D was in dire straits, wouldn’t she just call her mom or friend or the RA or 911? Couldn’t mom just call D every hour or so if she was worried?</p>
<p>And if the RA came by to “check on” the D, wouldn’t she call first, obviating the need for a “check?” If she dropped by without calling first, how would s/he get into the room to do the checking? I assume s/he’d have to knock and force the sick D to get up out of bed to open the locked door. And if D didn’t answer the door, then what? Assume D was asleep? or unconscious and call 911? It seems nonsensical to expect an in-person “check,” without some indication that there was something seriously amiss.</p>
<p>The RA forwarded the message to the supervisor at 10:45 pm. I wouldn’t hold the RA at fault at all, if the RA hadn’t received the message until the next morning. One can’t anticipate round-the-clock availability. In this case, though, the RA was available to read the email. It would seem to me to be a matter of courtesy to respond in some way, in a timely fashion.</p>
<p>I think that with meningitis or something else that’s serious, the first line of defense-- beyond the student herself–practically has to be the roommate or suite-mates. Hope your kids have good ones! Over a four-year period, I fielded a couple of calls about going/not going to the university health center with various concerns. Luckily, it appears that I guessed right, but one really doesn’t know. A daughter who is really too sick to get out of bed would be of concern to me.</p>
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<p>quant-- I see your point, but I actually believe the supervisors are the ones who are supposed to communicate with parents, not the students. For good reason.</p>
<p>I actually never met either of my daughters RA’s and have no idea how I would have even gotten the email. </p>
<p>I’m glad your daughter is on the mend, now, and knew enough to have fluids and whatnot. This actually does bring up the interesting point of the fact that kids do go further from home for college, these days, and had better be well versed on what to do in case of an emergency. </p>
<p>As a friend of mine says, “let go or be dragged.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t expect an RA to have responsibility for a sick student. I can see the RA checking in once a day or so, but medical care seems beyond the job description.</p>
<p>I was interested to see so many references to an “infirmary” above. Many colleges no longer have an infirmary as I think of them. When I was in college there was a quasi dorm where very sick students could go spend a couple of days, sleeping overnight, and be cared for by nursing staff. I think this type of infirmary is now a thing of the past; many have been closed for liability and cost reasons. Student health centers now tend to be open just during business hours, with staff on call to give referrals to local health centers for after hour emergencies.</p>
<p>When my younger S was very sick with mono a couple of years ago, we were told by his school that we could either check him into a hospital (which I think was way too much care), or we could withdraw him from school for the quarter and bring him home. Neither option was very appealing. The RA would have arranged to have meals delivered to his dorm room from the dorm cafeteria if he chose to stay on campus, but other than that, there was very little support for a sick student.</p>
<p>I chose to fly to the school and bring him to a hotel room for 4-5 days and take care of him myself. After 5 days, he felt well enough to return to the dorm room.</p>
<p>Anyways, that’s my kind of mini rant after the fact. Really all my son needed was an infirmary, but that wasn’t an option.</p>
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<p>I don’t think that an RA needs to be checking their email every few hours. They might have been busy with other things. I know at the school my son attends the RA rotates needing to be available. If the RA OP emailed was not “on call”, they would not necessarily have even read that email. </p>
<p>I also do not think that the RA needs to communicate with parents of students by email or in any other fashion. </p>
<p>My guess is that during RA training they are told how to handle communication that might come from a parent.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add my 2 cents. My D was in a similiar situation a couple of weeks ago. Her RA was fabulous. My D called to tell me she was at the school infirmary and was going to be taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. The RA as well a friend kept in contact with me. My daughter was released from the ER and taken back to her dorm. The Dr in the ER tested her for meningits with a spinal tap as well as strep and mono. All negative.</p>
<p>The next day my daughter was in her dorm all day and her friend kept me posted. She again was taken by ambulance to the ER with high fever, irregular blood pressure. She spent more time in the ER with more tests. Dr stated all tests were inconclusive.</p>
<p>She was released from the ER and sent to her schools infirmary and spent the next 2 days. The RA not only called me but called my D’s freshman dean to tell her she was sick and notified all of her professors. The RA also kept me posted.</p>
<p>I live across the country from where my D is attending college and it was the most horrific couple of days. I did not know whether to jump on a plane and fly out there or wait and see what the prognosis was going to be. Luckily, my daughter was ok and is doing great today.</p>
<p>Not sure what the specific duties of the RA’a are suppose to be in this situation but as a parent you feel helpless when your S or D is so sick.</p>
<p>I had no idea some schools don’t have infirmaries or are only open business hours.</p>
<p>TessaR, I hope that your D is feeling better. That does sound so frightening. If I had been in your shoes I would have contacted one of my son’s friends, and if needed for some reason I would have contacted the Dean of Students for direction. I know that there are a few head RAs and this is a full time job (proably similar to a “dorm mother” from decades ago, but they are no both males and females). I assume they are the folks that help in emergency situations (ie: where rides to a hospital are involved).</p>
<p>Also, in an emergency after hours, I know that I could contact the campus police. If I did this, my son would need to be in a near coma, have fever over 104 degrees etc., or he would have me committed!</p>
<p>It’s very unlikely that your daughter’s RA is contractually obligated to nurse sick freshmen to health.</p>
<p>As a matter of fact, the email you sent her sounds like the only inappropriate thing about this situation.</p>
<p>When my daughter was an RA she spent the night at an ER with one of the girls from her floor after she mixed prescription drugs and booze. She didn’t have to do it as part of her job description, but that’s who she is.</p>
<p>I don’t know what the RA in the OP’s situation could have done other than make sure that there were drinks and food available. The student could have called the dean to get notes from classes; that’s how it works at daughter’s school, anyway.</p>
<p>The RA was not MIA. She checked on your D, made sure things were under control, and forwarded your email appropriately. I was an RA in college and there was never any expectation (on the part of housing staff or by the residents themselves) that I would come nurse them when they were ill. They were also surprised to learn that I expected students to clean up their barf after a late night party (and even more surprised when I enforced this). That said, I took a couple of folks to the infirmary, but they were more ill than a cold/strep. </p>
<p>Part of college is learning how to tap into health care resources as appropriate. At some point, most kids will get sick at college. Time to learn what to do when that happens. She got her self to the infirmary and got antibiotics. Rest, fluids and meds are all anyone can do til for the first 24-48 hours. If she were vomiting, that would be a different issue, as aspiration and dehydration can become a problem.</p>
<p>I sent my kids off to college with a lunchbox filled with pain reliever/cough/cold/stomach meds and basic first aid stuff. Of course, it took one of my kids til soph year to realize he had this stuff (“Gee, this would have been useful back in January when I had a really bad cold…”).</p>
<p>I would strongly recommend that your D get a flu shot as she pulls together lessons from this experience. A lot of college infirmaries are having shot clinics this month. Vitamins, frequent washing of hands, etc. are also good policies to follow, because not everyone does, and there are inevitably some walking germ factories in the dorms. Prevention is important when one is living in close quarters with a lot of people.</p>
<p>That is what the infirmary is for - sick kids . A college student should be able to ask someone for help if they are really sick , and get help . It is not the RA’s job .</p>