<p>Chuck Norris can make any lesbian turn straight.</p>
<p>do people actually find this chuck norris stuff funny? People do it at school all the time, and I just don't get it... It's really not that funny.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and then ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed "Don't f-ck with Chuck!" Two year and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.</p>
<p>As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.</p>
<p>According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you to yesterday.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris once came in 2nd in the Indy 500.
He forgot to bring his car.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris once built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.</p>
<p>If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he'll say "Two second til" and by the time you've asked "Two seconds til what?" YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN ROUNDHOUSE KICKED IN THE FACE.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris once ate a 72 ounce steak in 1 hour...it took him 45 minutes to ***** the waitress...and 15 minutes to eat the steak</p>
<p>If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.</p>
<p>What's the joke? Can someone clue me in? I thought Chuck Norris was the guy who did the MTV news. What's so important about him?</p>
<p>Private_Joker, Chuck Norris is Walker, Texas Ranger.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris can divide by zero.</p>
<p>lol whats with the chuck norris mania? I thought it was just my school but its seems to be everywhere now</p>
<p>Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands.</p>
<p>Contrary to popular belief, the atomic bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima were actually orgasms of Japanese prostitutes, compliments of Chuck Norris.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris killed Dumbledore.</p>
<p>For a brief period in history, Chuck Norris had stolen the letter F from the alphabet, that is why we have words such as photo and Dr. Phil.</p>
<p>Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.</p>