We had some tears last night as she realized we are 3 weeks away. She is excited on one hand but pretty torn up about being so far away from her family and boyfriend. It’s such a giant leap for her. And me too! @momtojoss My daughter and her boyfriend have been doing the whole bucket list thing too this summer. It’s going to be a hard separation for both of them. @bisouu Your comments are so appreciated!! It is nice to know everything we are feeling is normal and can be survived!!
Another parent of a singleton who has spent a lot of time on FaceTime here! All I can say is, thank God for the dog, not sure I would have made it through otherwise! But seriously, it is an adjustment, but that doesn’t mean that the new normal won’t be fantastic. I have loved traveling to my kid’s college, summer experiences, (on my way to Boston to see her in a show today) and even study abroad program! I still feel connected to her life, and her friends (took 8 of them to dinner last trip), it’s different, but it still “us”.
@momtojoss We spent a week last summer in and around Colorado Springs - S was doing summer stock out there. We hiked Garden of the Gods three separate times - there are plenty of places to hike even for non-hikers! Best to do it out of the heat of the day - it is really, really gorgeous.
I’m a divorced of a singleton. My D and I are very close. I will miss her, but I also know that she has worked hard for this moment and is so excited to go! I am so excited to see what her future holds. The good thing is, she is only 2 hours away, so if I am missing her that much, I can drive up and take her out to lunch, or meet her in NYC and take all her pals out to lunch! She has been working all summer, but spending good quality time with a few close high school pals before she leaves Aug 24th. She has her roommate and her theatre squad as she facetimes or skypes with the group almost nightly. As a mom watching her only leave the nest, I take great comfort in knowing she already has a nice group of friends she will instantly know the moment she walks onto campus!
@artskids The Garden I am talking about is in So. IL and people have died there!!! ACK!!! I don’t want her falling off a cliff or whatever! I know. I know. I am just being ridiculous. Honestly I worry about the strangest things…but you are right. I am sure there are easy trails.
@sopranomtmom Too be really honest, I hope she and the boyfriend break up. She doesn’t need the distraction. Hoping for, as someone put it, a Turkey Dump.
@momtojoss I understand distraction concerns, but my daughter’s bf is a gem, definitely a keeper. They show every indication of being true soulmates and I fully expect, knowing them the way I do, they will make the long distance relationship work. He is actually really good for her, grounds her and helps her believe in herself. He is a couple of years older and also pursuing an acting degree as well. He plans to join her on the East Coast as soon as he finishes his program in two years. They crossed paths almost four years ago and neither one ever looked at anyone else after that, so he has become part of our family. I just worry about two starving actors trying to make their way in this crazy world, but if true love ever existed it is these two. They are a bit of a throwback to an earlier time - they remind me of my parents!
My D was unwaveringly, ecstatically eager to start at her program as soon as she committed to it… Until one day, about a week and a half before she left, when I received this text: “I’m scared.” Nerves hit then, and she felt a mixture of fear, nervousness, and excitement since until just a few hours after arriving on campus, when she said that she was back to a more excited and calmer feeling. That didn’t leave, and she’ll be junior this year.
Although she’s the oldest of 4, we are very close, and I worried that this would change and that the hardship of missing her would be too much. In some ways, to be honest, it has been incredibly difficult. There were many days in that first year that I’d feel down without knowing why–until I stopped and figured out that it was because I was missing her. I still have that happen, and I still don’t like saying goodbye to her at all. Despite communicating often. Despite seeing her at least a couple times a semester. Despite knowing that she is doing what she loves doing where she loves doing it. Despite her thriving. But you know what? I would not have changed her leaving for exactly those last reasons! It is so rewarding to see!
Now, she’s been in Europe for most of the summer. I adore that she keeps in daily contact and wants me to be such a part of her life despite that great distance. I think there have only been 4 days that she hasn’t FaceTimed me, and I obviously love that. She comes home in a couple days, and I’m so eager to actually touch her and have her around for the week and a half she’s home.
It’s still hard to be away from her, and I’d love to keep her physically close to us, especially when she goes through challenging times, but I also recognize that she is doing what she needs to do where she needs to do it at this time, and I can only fully support that.
I don’t think we’ll live close to each other for a long while. Maybe someday, but maybe not even then. That’s difficult to swallow, but I’ve seen that distance doesn’t mean the relationship has to suffer. It can actually even get closer, as it has with us. But, one step at a time, right?
Obviously, not everyone has the same story, the same feelings, the same communication patterns. You’ll have your own paths to take and your own feelings about those paths. You’ll all figure it out. One step at a time…
@sopranomtmom I hope you didn’t take offense by my comment! I can tell by your description that your D’s situation is totally different than my D’s. They sound perfect for each other!
@momtojoss I have never heard that expression. Turkey Dump. Perfect expression for it.
@momtojoss No offense taken at all!. My daughter and her bf are definitely a unique situation. In general, I agree it is best to go off unencumbered by a relationship. I am glad for my D though that she will be going into this with such a sense of serious purpose and not interested at all in the social scene or dating while she is there. She is looking at it almost like a job and she is ready to throw herself into the work of it. I do have to remind her not to be too serious all the time and be social enough to make friends though!
These posts are making me cry! Ugh we will all survive this I know…
They will survive and thrive and I will find a new normal here at home. But I know there are some tears coming - but I feel so blessed that after all the work and commitment she is finally realizing the dream that started when she was 10. I just hope you all don’t mine if this place becomes sort of a therapy group for me! I sort of feel we are all in this together and it helps more thank you all know!
Living vicariously through you all, as we are strapped in and prepped for applications/auditions for Class of '22. That said-D did spend her high school senior year away from us: Allow them to navigate THEIR normal, as you find your own. My D was super busy, and continued to be the homebody (when there wasn’t anything structured going on; which is/was rare.) Navigate YOUR own normal…it took a bit (Weeks? Months?)-but my husband and I began hiking; volunteering more with the beagle rescue group, stopping at local breweries post-hike with the beagle(s). This college pursuit/ “business” is not for the faint of heart…most of us have made it this far because our kids are up for it. Chin up, y’all
Anxiety is very normal @mtheatremom for anyone making a big change in life. Thankfully, nowadays colleges start the semester with 3-4 day programs for freshman letting them do fun stuff together and get acclimated to whole new life style. She’ll have a blast!
@owensfolks and @theaterwork As you know, this is the second time 'round for me sending my D off to college. Having her home since Dec has been nice (though I rarely saw her because she’s been working her butt off!). We went to orientation last week which I knew would be helpful, but I went with a sort of “been there, done that” attitude. I wasn’t expecting to “feel” anything. Then it hit me about the end of the first day and I surprised myself by getting choked up and weepy! Guess it’ll always be emotional to send your baby off on another leg of their life journey.
Packing is starting. Sigh. :-<
Something that has been helping as we prepare for the move 10-12 hours away is to look at the academic calendar. Really she is only going to be away for two and a half months, then thanksgiving, then a couple of weeks, then a month home for xmas, then a couple of months, then spring break, then a couple more months and then back for summer. It feels less like a permanent/forever separation, and more like six months away, spread over nine months.
@CentralOHmomof4 and you may see her over parent weekend. I broke it down the same way!
@CentralOHmomof4 Looking at the calendar does help a lot… just know that often times they rehearse over the different breaks and not able to come home. At least that is the case for my daughter.
@CentralOHmomof4 That is what we are doing as well! My D said she is going to think of it as extended periods of camp not moving away from home. It is helpful to remind myself how often she will be home and for such extended periods of time.