Can anyone speak to the issue of boarding school students playing off-campus sports (club teams, elite teams, playing at a higher level both on and off-season)? I am curious about school rules governing this kind of thing as well as the impact on the school community-- at schools like Groton and St. Paul’s, as well as schools with PG students like Deerfield and Lawrenceville.
Depending on school requirements and location, it is not easy. And for some sports, nearly impossible. You have to know that going in.
Some schools will be accommodating; others won’t allow it at all. Even for schools that allow it, the logistics involved can be nightmarish. That’s part of the reason why relatively few elite athletes opt for BS.
@SevenDad has a lot of experience in this area and can shed light.
There is a thread on this somewhere already that might be helpful. Not sure where in this forum but within the last year. Of course, depends on the sport and the school. @GoatMama can also comment.
@2boys1dog I can speak for St. Paul’s. Feel free to message me.
When @skieurope calls, I answer!
My answer to the question of how doable it is is going to be “it depends”. Depends on the sport. Depends on the school. Depends on whether the school offers your sport. Depends on your level of outside commitment. Depends on how much time/money you are willing to invest in getting around various hurdles (like travel to/from club practice, club-based tournaments, etc.) Depends on the personality/attitude of the school’s AD, and ability/tendency of school to make accommodations to make things work. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Note that many schools have an athletic participation requirement. For example, the Lawrenceville site states the following:
“Here at Lawrenceville, we have a three term sports requirement that consists of participation in interscholastic sports, or dance, or intramurals for Third and Fourth Form students, and interscholastic sports or lifetime sports for Second and Fifth Form students.”
There are exemptions available, but they are limited. The Lville site goes on to elaborate:
“As part of the sports requirement there is an exemption request process for those Third through Fifth Form students who apply before spring break for the next school year. Exemptions are limited and are for: high-level, off campus, adult-supervised athletic endeavors. This allows students to spend another term in their primary sport, but if a student is approved for an exemption, that student must play two terms of School interscholastic sports. Students who believe they qualify for this exemption can request a form by contacting the Athletic Department.”
So there’s that.
Here’s our family’s story which outlines some of other challenges…
My daughter was a nationally ranked fencer during her high school years. She initially attended a high school with an interscholastic team. She also played volleyball there her freshman year, then had an exemption her soph year, before transferring to another boarding school for her final two years of high school.
In some ways, that BS was optimally located…a short walk from the school there was a direct train to NYC where her club was located. So it’s not like she needed to get a ride. However, there were plenty of times when we drove 2 hours into the city to pick her up to give her a ride back to school on Fridays…so she wouldn’t be constrained by the train schedule/curfew. Oh yeah, curfew…most BS are going to have some rules on when you have to be back on campus. And remember that if your club practice is held after school that you’re generally going to miss dinner and will have to provide for yourself.
For her final two years of high school, her boarding school was located about 30 minutes from another suitable club. However, there was no direct public transportation available. So we (mostly my wife) would drive to pick her up and then grab dinner for her to eat in the car on the way back to school (because she’d miss dinner service). On those days, my wife spent about 3 hours in the car in total between driving from our home to the school to the club to the school then back home. See what I meant by “how much time/money you are willing to invest in getting around various hurdles”?
Schools that have Saturday classes (or mandatory Sunday chapel) add an additional challenge because, at least in our experience, local/regional/national tournaments are held on weekends…and Saturday might be a travel day or a competition day. Additionally, for tournaments that were further afield (meaning requiring a flight), we might have to fly out on a Thursday or Friday and sometimes come back on a Monday or even Tuesday…so the school has to be cool with that. I’d estimate that from Oct to Feb, my daughter was off campus for a long weekend at least once a month. While both of her schools were flexible about missed days and exam scheduling…she was always responsible for any in-class work she missed and all homework due dates as if she were at school.
In terms of how being involved at a high level with a sport outside the school affects a student’s experience as part of a school community…in my daughter’s experience, it definitely can have an impact. The student will have to work harder to integrate into the life of the school simply because they aren’t around as much. And your commitment to an outside sport means you may not be able to commit to other non-sports activities. Like say if you wanted to be in a play or musical or wanted to be on the school paper or whatever. That said, daughter managed to integrate fairly well at both schools, and was a prefect her senior year.
It was a lot of work for my daughter as well as for my wife and me, but I’d say that in the end we’d do it again. Daughter ended up being a recruited athlete at a selective D1 school.
It really depends, as others have said. on both the sport, the school and the athlete. The school my kiddo attends requires sports participation. The club sport happens to be on the weekend. It’s tough but possible to do. For us, it’s even harder because this kiddo also does another activity at a super high level. It’s a juggling act. Often school and school sports is primary during the week. Saturday there is often a school game. One weekend day is spent on Club sport, the other on the activity. The club level involves regional travel on some weekends. The activity some national travel.
All were considered prior to applying to BS and also in consideration of schools and Saturday classes etc. This might become more difficult for our family as we go along. I’d consider my kid someone who would likely be able to play DII or DIII ( not very interested in DI and doesn’t have the time to spend there in any case). One positive is, school sports keep kids in good shape and can be cross training too.
If you decide to go this route and want to keep up high grades, it’s very likely your social life will have to give and you have to manage time very very well.
To build on something Happytime2001 said (as well as borrow a popular truism), it can be a case of “Sports, School, Social Life, Sleep…pick three.”
For a different perspective, our daughter was competing nationally as a rock climber when she applied to boarding schools (It’s a 2020 Olympic Sport!) and schools were generally not super encouraging about making it possible for her to train off campus. My daughter gave decided to forgo climbing, a huge part of her identity at that point, so that she could go whole hog into life at her new school and that worked out very well for her. She was an RA, active in the drama department and Diversity Club etc and she took up JV ice hockey. All experiences she would have had to forgo if she kept climbing at her level. Because she was unlikely to compete in college and her sport required a minimum of 20 hours a week of off campus training, this was the right choice for her but two of her former teammates now compete for Stanford and Tufts and are likely to be Olympic athletes which is also very cool.
Another key question to consider is how much you are anticipating the sport being a factor in college admissions. Thats not to say that its smart to expect or rely on it but more and more sports of all types are year around or nearly so. Scouting is heavily focused on these programs for many sports. Elite prep schools dont send near the number of athletes to top schools that they did in the past. Even in the cases where they do–they are quite often repeat Juniors and PGs. There can also be some serious political issues when a student tries to do both.
This subject has been discussed on previous threads, but will add some information that I have in hopes it will help the OPer.
As stated by others, check the school policies on outside participation and off-campus activities. Many schools have “closed weekends” that could limit your ability to participate in a club-travel team on the weekends. By contrast, a couple of schools actually expected GolfKiddo to become a member of a travel team outside of school to get “legs” during the off-season. One coach actually expected parents to make a schedule for driving to club/travel games, assuming that most were local. We know hockey players from a couple of schools in CT that play travel. It really impacted their overall BS experience. It’s not physically possible to do it all - something’s gotta give. These guys had great games at a high level, however…some with older players.
THere are some students that are very driven and will play travel or club in addition to school obligations. I don’t know how they do it all - my hat is off to them! Some have parents that drive them on the weekends. Some have teammates that are day students with cars. We know kids that spend their weekends with their club teams. However, this is a serious decision - it takes away from part of the BS experience. It eats into study time and social time. For students with Saturday classes, this is very difficult. Some kids take Uber or a car service to play club/travel. Be careful because some schools do not allow this. I think it is very hard for students who are far from home to arrange for rides to weekend club or travel events. Also, check on the policy for leaving school for showcase events or tournaments. I think this may be especially difficult for First Year students. We have this issue for golf tournaments in the spring and fall - outside of school. It is a tough road. We have found the coaches (except for one school) to be very open and informative about how this works. Consider taking the opportunity to speak with the coaches about this during the process because if you are an elite athlete this can help you decide which schools are a good fit. Hey - we know that athletics is a huge investment of effort, time, money. We have that big dream of a college scholarship, too. We were very upfront and honest with coaches about financial needs for college and aims for scholarships. They appreciated this and we commenced an honest dialogue that, ultimately, helped us make a decision. We found the coaches to be very helpful and informative. We also found a few parents here on CC that were honest about their kids’ experiences with playing club/travel. The insights from these parents helped us to make a decision.
True story from club tryouts this past Sunday. Club Director asks:
“Raise your hand if you can drive and have a car.” – Everyone raises their hand except six girls.
“Raise your hand if you have a job.” – Everyone raises their hand except six girls.
“Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.” – Everyone raises their hand except six girls.
Club Director looks at the six, “You must be St. Paul’s girls. Nothing but school for you!”
So while it can be done, maybe it shouldn’t always be done. I worry ( daily) about how little free time my kiddos have. What can you do with a kid who is driven in school, sports, EC’s and even wants to have a social life? We keep saying something has to give. It is hard though because kids who work on a high level are often competitive and enjoy the high they get from success ( in school, sports, EC’s and life). I have seen a number of kids who excel academically, play sports at a high level and do other things pretty well.
While I don’t think my kiddo #1 will pursue sports in college, it might be the tipping point. It’s really not my place to decide what activities s/he should do. It’s true @Center that there are fewer and fewer admits from prestigious BS’s. There is definitely thinking that these kids are already “privileged” so they must reach higher bars in every category. I think some of them think of that also.
I often feel as though my kiddos do too much and would like something to drop. But it’s hard when they excel in multiple areas. This is even harder when your kiddo is particularly good in an area as @chemmchimney kiddo in climbing. Does your kid give up their Olympic (or highest level) dreams to go to BS, do they tone them down or do they do both? I’m learning that this is a life lesson. The kiddos need to figure it out. Balance is a key to a well lived life. But so is working hard.
As a family, we’ve told the kids they have to prioritize school as #1. Then they can add in other things like sports and ECs. It works but the down time for them is minimal.
"So while it can be done, maybe it shouldn’t always be done. "
Great point, @Happytimes2001.
One of the themes that I’ve revisited over my years on the forum is whether to view BS as a means to an end or a valuable end in and of itself. I’m firmly in the latter camp, and have made no secret of this.
I think elite sports (whether at a BS or a local public or private school) can be thought of in a similar manner. Are you doing it because you enjoy it/are good at it/want to see how far you can go with it or are you doing it in the hopes that it will be a differentiating “hook” for college applications? In this case, I’m in the former camp. Mostly because, if you’re doing it for the college application process and you don’t get into your “dream” school…will you consider all the time/money/sacrifice a waste? I’d hate to think so.
It can be a tough thing to manage even without the added complication of attending a BS.
I’ll chime in here about Lawrenceville. My son attended, and was a varsity athlete as a freshman. Lville has a 3 term sport requirement, and he wanted to train year round (1 term varsity, 2 terms training), but quickly came to reality that this was not possible.
Freshman athletes are Lville are not allowed to have a waiver, but sophomores and above can apply to the Athletic Director. There are limits on the # of terms that he was allowed to get a waiver. In the end he found it very difficult, and so just simply signed up for other school sports in the intervening terms. Many of the other high level athletes that I know at Lville simply are not able to keep up with the demands of school as well as off-campus training. Its possible to sign up for club/house sports and “lifetime” – which is basically strength training and conditioning. But this makes for a full day, as the students are required to do their Lville athletic activity every day afterschool. Who has time afterwards to go and train for their main sport?
Also its worth noting that Lville has saturday classes, which makes any sort of sports competitions on the weekend very challenging.
@SevenDad Agree, if you aren’t looking at BS as a valuable life experience, then you/your kiddo might be very disappointed. The idea of getting into a good college has taken on a life of its own and subsumes a lot of kids and their parents. This is particularly true of upper middle class kids whose parents aren’t wealthy enough not to worry. The future doesn’t look as bright as it used to and kids and parents realize that competition is stiff. I don’t think many people realize how many really great kids are out there.
I tell my kiddos love to learn and you will go far. But I was always a nerd and not an athlete.
I didn’t read all of the prior posts but will echo the “it depends” — on the school, sport, location, and level. Many, many kids at DS’s school play a club/elite sport (primarily lacrosse, hockey and soccer) in their off season. BS schedules and commitments are rigid — the outside sports will work of the schedule is such that the kid won’t miss school commitments. For example, BS class schedules accommodate the BS team sports schedules, but you can’t miss a class or other commitment to play in a club game. It worked for DS to play an off season sport this fall in addition to his varsity sport because we are close enough that he could come home for Sunday club practices and be back in time for study hall (and many kids on the team attend other local BSs). We are now working on driving arrangements for a different club sport in the winter.
Also, where there is a 3-sport obligation at school, the outside sport may have to be in addition, though a school requirement can be fulfilled in some instances with a rec sport that doesn’t have the 2x weekly games (or sometimes even a theater or other “activity”).
If it’s a priority to your child it can and does work and seems to be more and more common. You should ask about it when visiting to get a sense of how accommodating the school is and how common it is there, and definitely take the logistics into account. Good luck to you!
When my daughter attended the school with an interscholastic fencing team, she went to every single HS meet but one over the course of two seasons. That was never much of an issue because the HS meets were during the week…and she prioritized them in season.
As for missing class for the national/international events she participated in, both schools were extremely accommodating. But as has been noted, YMMV…
It can also depend on how elite the level is your child has achieved. Many schools will try to accomodate a student who is clearly on a different level - attending national or international events. It can get murkier when the athlete is good but needs those club opportunities to be more special – and realistically, that’s most of the kids playing club sports.