CMU - Will it Grow on You?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Carnegie Mellon University
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<p>Hi All - I have been lurking on these boards for some time now - I really appreciate the insight you all have provided. </p>

<p>A little background: To be honest, I think my son is still nursing his wounds after being rejected by his dream schools and is having a difficult time getting excited about his choices. Despite our best efforts, he naively and stubbornly put his eggs in the dream school basket and did not research the other schools to which he applied as much as he could/should have. He was accepted by several good schools, but ultimately narrowed his options down to CMU, Wustl, and CU Boulder (in-state for us). </p>

<p>My son has told me that he thinks he has decided to attend CMU (MCS). We have not signed on the dotted line yet. I should be thrilled that he has reached a decision, but his lack of enthusiasm concerns me. His exact words were, "I guess I can try Carnegie Mellon and see how it goes." </p>

<p>I asked him what gave him pause about CMU, and he said he doesn't like the location (after growing up in a small CO community, the urban/industrial feel of CMU's campus and surroundings were somewhat jarring - the cold, rainy, windy weather during Admitted Students day didn't help....), and he doesn't feel he would fit in with the student population as he observed it. (He's a somewhat quiet, not overly social BWRK, but I wouldn't classify him as nerdy.) But he was really excited by the math and physics open houses and the two classes he attended, and that's what pushed him to choose CMU. (FWIW, he was not able to get nearly as much of a feel for the other schools' physics/math programs/departments at their Admitted Students days, so they were at a disadvantage from that standpoint.)</p>

<p>I don't want to be second-guessing his decision, but by the same token, I feel his concerns are too important to just disregard, as the campus is going to be his home for the next four years. Is there anyone out there who attended CMU and went in with the same concerns? Did you grow to love it, or did you regret your decision? </p>

<p>FWIW, son really liked Wustl's campus, but wasn't sure about the strength of their math/physics programs. CU is close to home, beautiful, and the price is right (we rec'd no financial aid/very little merit $ from Wustl/CMU). CU has a strong physics program, but I'm not so sure about their math program. Son seems to think that it is just average. </p>

<p>I am excited at the prospect of my son attending CMU, but not at the expense of his happiness. Any thoughts out there? Should I respect his decision, or are my concerns legitimate? Are his options comparable enough that if the campus is a big concern, he'd do just as well to choose one of the other schools? I want him to be excited about the school he chooses to attend and would love to hear from any parents or students who have found themselves in this situation.... Sorry for the rambling post.</p>

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<p>If he likes outdoors or non-urban campuses then CMU really isn’t a bad choice. Schenley Park is right next door, and it’s an enormous park (there’s a full public golf and frolf course as well as an outdoor ice rink during the colder months). CMU’s campus itself is fairly open, and odds are he really won’t be spending much time down in Oakland where it feels much more urban. If he wants to live more suburban/outskirts feeling, he could also move his sophomore year up to Shadyside or Squirrel Hill which are more family oriented neighborhoods but still a great place to live while in college.</p>

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<p>Wow…I am sorry that your son is feeling so down about his options. CMU is a great school for most kids particularly someone who is techy and strong in the sciences and math…>BUT? he sounds so unenthusiastic I would hesitate to spend so much on “I guess I will try…”. My son also applied and was accepted at WUSTL and local state but interested in a very different area. He thought WUSTL was the friendliest place he had visited but knew it was the wrong place for his approach art. The local U had excellent art and was a free ride so we told our son he had to be ABSOLUTELY committed to CMU for the first year, no doubts, or he could start locally and transfer to CMU or elsewhere. The cost of doubt about CMU would have been just too high. Every semester, I still ask…“Is this still the right place for you?” S had to be very, very clear why CMU was/is the best place for him–best combination for his interests and where he is motivated to do his very best…anything less is a huge waste of money and time. What about your son taking off a year? What about doing a year at CO and trying to transfer to his dream school? CMU is not going to “grow” on you if it is seen as a ‘second best’ option and, while the campus is adjacent to a few big parks…it is still the shell of an industrial city…(that is why I like it)…it is not a school or a town where people rush to go hiking/kayaking/climbing on the weekends. It is not an outdoorsy school although you can find some like minded students at CMU and Pitt to do outdoorsy things that is going to take initiative and enthusiasm…not something your son is going to take with him to school. We love CMU and Pittsburgh, but realistically, it doesn’t sound like your son is ready to embrace the school or the city. What is wrong with a deferral? Even if you can afford it financially, can he/you afford the emotional toll of ‘trying out’ a college half a country away?</p>

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<p>Well… there are plenty of things to do for students that wouldn’t classify themselves as “nerdy”. Tell him to check out greek life and extracurricular - we have a lot of clubs here! Additionally, I wouldn’t say CMU campus has an urban feel, although it certainly isn’t rural.</p>

<p>That being said, if he’s really not to sure about it, 50k is a lot to spend :3</p>

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<p>Through the college application process for both my kids, I always kept in mind the question, “Is it worth the money?” We’re full pay everywhere, kids didn’t want to go where it was inexpensive nor where they got merit aid. But 220K+ is quite a bit of money, unless one is very wealthy. </p>

<p>So son #1 is really happy and doing well at CMU. It is more than I could have ever asked. Involved in so many activities that he enjoys, doing better in schoolwork than he ever did in high school. Getting internship opportunities, interviews, life is good. But he knew CMU was the one, when he applied. It was actually the only place he was excited about, though we visited many fine schools. It is absolutely, completely, for him…worth the money. I couldn’t imagine anywhere better for him.</p>

<p>On the other hand, son #2 decided to put CMU out of his top choices this year. He had no problem going to his brother’s school, that would have been a positive. Kind of stunned us, we assumed it was his #1. But it just didn’t feel like the place he wanted to be, as much as some of his other choices. We visited all campuses twice, the last time with the thought of, “Could I be happy here for four years? Is this a place I’d like to be?” And honestly, as much as I love CMU, if your son doesn’t have an inkling of that feeling, I don’t think it’s worth the money. Even though the $$ might not be a huge consideration, if your kid is lukewarm about all of his options, maybe you should consider that he could go where it’s cheapest (and that he feels relatively happy about). CU Boulder is a great place, so beautiful. Maybe he’s not so enthusiastic about it because he’s so familiar with it and it’s so close to home. He can always transfer to the school he really wants to go to if he’s not happy. When you think of it in those terms, is CMU really 30-35K/yr (guessing) worth the money more than CU when he’s not even that interested in it?</p>

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<p>I tend to think it will grow on him. As parents, we sometimes react to how the kids feel at the moment and they change ALL the time :)</p>

<p>Right now, he is smarting against the other rejections.
If being in a strong and top program is important to him, he may be more disillusioned if he gets to choose his State options. </p>

<p>Again assuming money is not the issue, go with CMU.</p>

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<p>@fall2016parent, this is what I am hoping for… CMU was one of the few schools to which he enthusiastically applied at the same time he applied to his dream schools. During the onslaught of college brochures, he always eagerly read any literature CMU sent; we had planned to visit last summer but were unable to due to a family emergency. We were visiting other schools over his spring break when he got the news that he had been accepted to CMU and he was pretty excited about it. We were nearby visiting Case Western when he got the good news, so we added a day to the trip and drove to Pittsburgh to take a look at the campus. They were not doing admitted student events yet but we signed up for an info session and tour. After touring schools in 70 degree sunny, breezy weather, we arrived in Pittsburgh to cold, clouds and wind (he was sick, as well); we got to the campus and you could just see the wind come out of his sails. He wanted so much to like it and for whatever reason, what he saw was not what he was expecting… I think the combination of the weather, his feeling poorly, just added up to a bad experience - the icing on the cake was when the only dorm they pointed out was Donner…not a great first impression I guess. When we got back home, I thought the least we could do attend an admitted student event and he agreed. Unfortunately, the weather was awful again, but as I said, he seemed very interested after attending the math and physics sessions and attending a couple of classes. Walking back to the car at the end of the day, he said he could see himself there. It was after the passage of day that he sounded less enthusiastic - after those nagging doubts had time to resurface. I can’t help wondering if once he enrolled, he’d feel that excitement again and not worry so much about his surroundings. He is a kid who loves math and science, and he thrives on academic rigor and challenge and he is looking forward to the opportunity to do research. I don’t know that he would get that at to the degree he wants at CU or even WashU. Financially, it makes most sense to enroll him at CU, but I don’t want him to end up at CU wondering “what if…” I see lots of people on the boards asking about CMU vs. ?? and often it seems that the campus and social life are issues of concern with some of them. But it seems most of the students love it, and I guess what I’m curious about is whether there are kids out there who attended with reservations and grew to love it. He loved Caltech and MIT, and honestly, CMU’s campus reminded me of Caltech in some ways, student body included, and that’s what makes me think that he would find his place at CMU. But you are right - that is a lot of money to risk on a school of which he sounds unsure…</p>

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<p>I wouldn’t let one day of bad weather/sickness deter me from joining a school. He needs to look at the big picture and long term.</p>

<p>I think you should have a straight talk with him and say, before we put in 50k/year, we need to know if you are really sure about CMU. What would you feel if you have to go back to your home school.</p>

<p>Did he join the class of 2016 facegroup, start connecting with people. Maybe that will get him excited.</p>

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<p>The weather isn’t as bad as everyone complains it is. The weather has been erratic all over the Northeast this winter, and it has been really nice these past 3 weeks minus that 1-2 days that you unfortunately visited on.</p>

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<p>weathermom, I don’t know if your son will click with CMU. I wish him and you luck. If you search on CC you’ll find threads along the lines of “dumbest reason for not applying to a certain school” or “which college’s tour guide convinced you to not apply?” …silly things that turn you off to a school. Weather is definitely one. My son and I visited Wesleyan, a fine school, in August in the midst of a Northeast drought…the campus looked brown and ugly, at least that day we thought so, and we were miserable and sweaty…he didn’t apply.</p>

<p>Apparently your son applied to Caltech and MIT? Then I think he’d like CMU. It has the same feel. We thought at first the campus was, well different. I went to undergrad and grad at two eastern schools with beautiful gothic campuses. You know what? I, and son, really grew to love the CMU campus, its compactness and yes even the beauty and symmetry of the mall. And how the school is woven into the city but still can feel like a non city school.</p>