Hi everybody, I’m a junior and I am starting to think about my college application and essays. I have a few questions regarding my parents. Both of my parents are currently employed and our family income is probably going to be about $60-65k (my step mother just got a job a few weeks ago). However, my EFC will be 0. My parents refuse to pay anything for my college. Additionally, my dad refuses to drive for to visit colleges. It seems my parents do not want to be involved in the college admissions process, which I am fine with because I am pretty independent. However, I am worried that 1. I will not receive the financial aid I need and 2. My parent’s unwillingness to drive me to visits will translate into my disinterest in colleges that keep track of the visits. How can I let colleges know that my parents’ apathetic approach to colleges hinders my ability to pay anything or show my interest through visits? How can I do this without seeming like I’m talking bad about my parents in my college application, which I do not want to do? I do resent my parents for their unwillingness to pay or go through the process with me, but I do not want to seem like a bratty teenager or throw my parents under the bus. Thank you!
Do you have any friends doing visits you could catch a ride with?
They aren’t really looking at any Ivy’s/Top schools, which I feel I need to visit for when I write my “Why ___” essay and of course to get the general feel of the campus to help with my decision. But there are a few colleges on my list that I share with my friends, like Amherst which I visited a month ago, but I’m hesitant because I think my parents would get hypocritical, saying things like “oh why don’t you just join so-and-so’s family if you’re going to take a trip with them?” My parents are okay with me going farther away for college, as long as I am able to drive to and from home by myself every other month or so, but they are both homebodies who just give attitude whenever I ask to go on tours and then they make excuses.
You will need the paperwork for financial aid. Your parents will need to help on that. So focus on getting that to happen. Everything else regarding parent involvement is secondary. With research you can identify colleges that are likely academic and social fits and you can successfully apply without visiting.
@ fogcity so I shouldn’t worry about my EFC 0 and lack of college tours?
My dad was somewhat similar in that he refused to drive to visit colleges (in the end, I did visit a few that were on the way during other roadtrips). That being said, I’m sure you’ll be able to effectively craft your “Why ____” essay without visiting based on the websites, uni fairs/visits to your school/area, conversations with students and alumni etc. I feel like most top (Ivy-level) schools also don’t care as much about interest, which you can definitely demonstrate in other ways as well.
In terms of helping you make your decisions…that can come after you get in! I realize that you really want to go visit colleges, but coming from someone who wasn’t able to make very many (I only toured two), you’ll be fine without.
I will say though that colleges won’t care about your parents’ apathetic approach hindering your ability to pay. You don’t get to decide what your EFC is. Fortunately, you’ll probably get very substantial aid if you do go to an Ivy. You can also (and will be expected to) work during the school year and summer to contribute.
One of the first things u should do is to ask if your parents are willing to contribute anything. Better to know now rather than later. However, you may be eligible for some need based fin aid. But you’ll need them to fill out the FAFSA next year. Give them the heads up. Not everyone should expect to attend a 4 year residentisl college. This might apply to you. You may have to ready yourself to that reality.
@orchidbloom that’s reassuring to hear.
@t26e4 I guess that is something I should learn to be willing to accept. My dad already did FAFSA with my sister, but she goes to a nearby state school and she got by in high school with C’s/an occasional B. I know I can be a part of something much more and the thing is, my sister is going to be ~20k in debt and that’s with the financial aid we got with a 35-40k income.
Colleges do understand. In fact, if an applicant does (magically) find the funds to tour all of the schools, while at the same time needing full FA, it raises questions. (Similarly if an applicant needing full FA doesn’t make some effort to have a job in the summer, that too, can raise an eyebrow.) The scenario you describe isn’t exactly our scenario but we, too, did not tour even half of the schools applied to. There are other ways to express interest and you should take advantage (college reps at your school; college fairs, etc.) Do what you can. Be on top of the FA. Child # 2 in this household had plenty of generous offers–many from schools not visited. As part of the CSS profile there is a place at the end where a narrative explanation can be provided for extenuating circumstances. Also, letters matter. Be communicative with the admissions officer who handles your application–ie your contact person. Reach out. Express interest where/how you can. Also, do you know about QuestBridge? http://www.questbridge.org
http://news.yale.edu/2014/12/16/yale-college-accepts-753-early-action-applicants-40-questbridge-finalists
I know a few students who applied through QuestBridge. Sounds like it might fit you. Best of luck!!!
I agree that you cannot talk badly about your parents to admissions. Can you talk to your guidance counselor about helping to arrange rides for you with other prospective students if it is a day trip? Do you work and have your own money? For overnight stays where you can still drive to the college, maybe you can get an older cousin to take you and pay for the cost of gas and the hotel. Depending on where you live, you can attend their info sessions at hotels. I would call each school and find out when they are. You also get credit for attending college fairs. I would call other students that are presently at the school and interview them. Your guidance counselor will give you the names if they can get their permission. Good luck!
why are you sure your EFC will be 0? it wont be.
Most private colleges , who cant afford to offer all grants instead of loans, and colleges who use Profile information may be higher than your FAFSA report shows.You need to run the numbers through their financial calculators and NOT rely on the FAFSA number. The EFC is for expected TOTAL FAMILY contribution, so if there are 2 kids in college at the same time, the EFC will be the same as having only 1 kid in college.
And your parents WILL have to fill out FAFSA, in order for you to qualify for any aid.
If you are from a low income family, the school do not expect you to do a visit from out of town/state.
@ mathmusicmadness thank you. I applied for the CPS and am really hoping to get something! But I’m scared that a spike in my family income can be a red flag to not get me matched next year. I also cannot work because I take care of my sister, and I take care of cousins over the summer (built in babysitter right here…hah)
@educateddarcy oh my god, talking to current students, that is a great idea! How did I not think of that, thank you so much!
“How can I let colleges know that my parents’ apathetic approach to colleges hinders my ability to pay anything or show my interest through visits?”
For colleges that care about showing interest- and most tip top colleges generally don’t- You can show interest by 1-taking an in depth look at a college website - lots of clicks- and contacting college admins with questions you many have that AREN’T’ already answered on their website, 2-going to local college road shows and speaking directly with admissions directors there, and 3-asking your HS admissions counselor which colleges care about interest and letting him/her know you are interested in other colleges beyond just the reaches that everyone wants to get into.
In your essays can let them know you weren’t able to afford to visit. Colleges understand that, unless it is a local college.
Its really easy to fall in love with a big name, tiptop college, that has lots of money, but realistically the chances of getting into one are nothing more than a crap shoot and a wild dream for 95% of applicants. Concentrate on finding colleges that you have a really good chance of getting into and being able to afford.
@anitomy You may be overly worried about a “spike in income”. As someone else mentioned, run the numbers. But there is a gulf between our numbers and yours and we were pleasantly surprised at the grants. All of the offers involved federal work study but not all involved loans. Not all schools are tapped into National Merit $ so do be aware of that. (2nd child here is a national merit finalist and the $s offered vary wildly from school to school AND THAT IS MAKING A BIG DIFFERENCE RIGHT NOW AS WE HEAD INTO DECISIONS.) It all matters when dollars are tight. But his was a solid application. No Ivy offers but just as good (or better IMHO). You’re in good company. (BTW, some schools really don’t care if you demonstrate interest or not; many do. Find out who is who in that regard.) I can hear your humility and that is something that others will hear in you as well. This is a good thing. (I don’t know about the guidance dept at your school but in ours it wouldn’t have made a difference. We were way out in front of what our “high achieving public school” guidance department had to offer. Not their fault really–just too many students to adequately help. Do what you’re doing…research…ask questions…talk to current students…etc etc etc. And do stack and stagger your applications. The competition is FIERCE. (Student here with 800/800/770 and 35 ACT + stellar essays etc etc etc. But you’ve seen that on CC already…an in Naviance, no doubt.) Stay grounded. Be your own best advocate. Choose wisely who to ask to write letters on your behalf.
OP do you mean your EFC as calculated by FAFSA will be zero, or that your parents won’t pay for college costs regardless of EFC?
@mathmusicmadness thank you very much, you are a huge help. I wish you and your child good luck in the college decision making!
@scholarme I may be using the term wrong (such a rookie in this process). I have not calculated my EFC yet, but my parents won’t pay for college costs regardless of EFC
Is there any other relatives or family friends who could take you on college visits? Is there a way your GC could talk to your dad, explaining the importance of his involvement? You can go to college, it may not be the plan you have in your head but you will get a degree, regardless of your father.
I would send an email to the admissions offices of the schools that you are interested in (or phone call if you prefer), with questions that are thoughtful. Basically, don’t ask questions that you can easily find out from the website. An example might be what sort of culture is there on campus and if there is a lot of collaboration within classes. There are ways to show interest to schools without doing visits. Many top schools also travel to high schools or do info sessions across the country, so you may want to get on the schools’ mailing list so you can figure out when the sessions are.
OP, did you take the PSAT in Oct? IF so, was your score at or above your states cut off Number? If so,
then fill out ALL the National Merit Scholarship paperwork your HS councilor gives you next fall! As a NMSF, there are plenty of colleges that will offer you full tuition scholarships!