<p>so- my daughter has applied to two schools- neither of which I expect her to be attending this fall- since we are trying to find a plan to take a year off.</p>
<p>However- two envelopes came from one of the schools- & she has been out of the country & will not return for two more weeks. Should I open them to see if it is anything she should respond to before she returns or perhaps just email them and ask?</p>
<p>If it was an emergency I could get a hold of her- but from reading the blog on her trip about how some students are ill from the heat- I know she is one of them & I don't want to bother her.</p>
<p>Are the envelopes from the admissions office? If so, I would call them and ask. Or are you not in the position of being ready to tell schools she might take a gap year yet?</p>
<p>EK, you know your D best. It is too bad that you did not ask her before she left. In your situation would open them, but that is just me. I would try to reach her first if she would be more annoyed that you opened it without contacting her first. Sorry that she is not feeling well.</p>
<p>I would open them in case there is something that needs immediate attention.
We came to an agreement with my S about college mail. Anything that was obviously junk mail such as Congrats on your PSAT/ACT/SAT score, apply to our school! parents could open. Anything that was probably something like "your second teacher rec" is missing, parents could open. As it got closer to acceptances coming, we agreed that anything that was possibly an acceptance we would not open. It would be his moment to open first. We didn't talk about a situation like yours, because we didn't anticipate he would be unavailable for any significant period of time. Your situation is a gray area. However, if you can't get in touch with your D, I wouldn't want to risk the possibility that there could be something important in the letters. Take home message to parents: come to some type of agreement with your kids about what is OK/not OK for you to open when it comes to college mail, especially if they might be temporarily unavailable</p>
<p>When will she be back? If it's going to be awhile, then you should open them. If she has a blog that she is updating during her trip, you could try contacting her on that to ask.</p>
<p>My mom steamed open my envelope, then glued it closed again because she couldn't wait five hours, let alone 2 weeks. I knew she had done it because she was too calm, given that an envelope was on the kitchen table that afternoon. Good thing I only applied one place ED; we couldn't have survived multiple applications:)</p>
<p>It became such a family fun story that my kids gave me "permission to steam" if this happened during their school day.</p>
<p>I don't think you'll do permanent damage to your relationship even if you make
a decision she wishes you hadn't regarding the envelopes. ALso if you explain you tried to reach her but couldn't; or didn't want to unravel her overseas trip; or knew she wasn't feeling well...yet you needed to be sure nothing was timely to respond to colleges in her absence...she'd probably understand your position, if she's in general a forgiving kind of person.</p>
<p>Ideally, get her permission from overseas to open them; but if you can't, I'd say still open them in case something is timely. Tough spot.</p>
<p>I would hold them up to the light and see if you can read them. If not, I would open them. We recently had a similar situation and one of the letters I opened was a request for more info regarding S's transcript. I was then able to handle this quickly. Two more weeks puts you into March and I would be afraid to let a possible request for more info sit that long. My kids would definitely understand, but every kid is different.</p>
<p>well I opened the skinny one- it was a reminder to apply for financial aid
( she previously was going to apply to more schools- so I have finished FAFSA, I just hadn't gone back and added more schools)
I don't expect she will get anything- but I will update FAFSA to add this school.
I may also just open the other one in case she has to send something in for the dorms in case she does decide to attend.</p>
<p>It was so hectic before she left ( she finished her college essay to her preferred school the night before), that while I had mentioned that this school had called and said they would be sending an admissions packet- she was really not in college mode, she was in finishing up her schoolwork, getting ready for Ghana mode ( the students do the bulk of the planning , organizing- motivating - the adults facilitate.) She has just been exhausted- she barely would take time to eat dinner.</p>
<p>This is a great article about the director/teacher in the program- this isn't her high school- he must have transferred soon after the article was written.</p>
<p>
[quote]
How has this man motivated these teenagers into studying with such astonishing industry? If it's charisma the man has got, he's sure not flaunting it right now. He's only 31, but he's already kind of pudgy and sort of subdued-looking too, like somebody happy to have a steady job in the municipal building permits department. if you had to describe him in a word, you'd probably say "average." Everything is average: height, weight, appearance, voice, dress, manner. It is very unlikely you would ever suspect that you are in the presence of an iron-willed man with a mission he intends to carry out.
<p>There are other possible time-important letters that can come midwinter. We got one letter a few weeks ahead of their decision-announcement date that said he couldn't get into his hoped-for major but could apply for an alternative major. They wanted to know if he'd be interested IN TIME to process it as a semi-new application, all before their published date. That situation ended up being his true safety. These are the kinds of odd things that might be in those skinny letters.</p>
<p>The gap year plan might also change, so keep every application process alive in the meantime, so she has as many options as possible to consider.</p>
<p>We, too, have an agreement where only S could open letters from colleges. My husband, though, has mastered the art of putting up the envelope against a very strong light and somehow manages to see through it. One college sent a letter in a dark colored envelope (it was an acceptance) and H panicked - light trick did not work and he called me to let me know that there was a letter from a college, and where the heck was S? Serves him right. :)</p>
<p>He'll probably buy a tea kettle come end of March.</p>
<p>I don't open them, but I've been known to drive them to school, and in one very important case, have her called out of class to open the envelope for what turned out to be some great news. I'm embarrassed to admit this, so don't tell anyone.</p>
<p>I would open it. At this time of the year, it is probably not an admission result and could very well be info requesting something the school needs to complete the packet.</p>
<p>I'd open it. We've faced this a couple of times - ds has spent quite a bit of time overseas in the past year, and my thinking is that I'd rather ds get mad because I opened something I didn't have to, than because he missed an opportunity. I'd don't think he'd mind anyway.</p>
<p>In your dd's case, I'd be concerned because invitations to scholarship weekends are going out and some have really short RSVP times.</p>
<p>S had applied to what I believe was one of your daughter's two schools. He got a notice from them in Jan. when he was out of the area. I opened it thinking it was just the school asking for more info (skinny envelope). It was his acceptance letter. He was not happy with me. I would not advise opening it. If you think admissions need more info, call and ask. (As a result, did not open any of DD letters. However, the big fat one with "You're In!" kinda gave one away. ;)</p>