<p>The college admissions process has a way of forcing students to be something they are not, by pushing them beyond their limits and interests, all for the sake of a contrived ideal of "success" and a glitzy name on their resume. </p>
<p>Just be who you are and find the college you were made to attend, even if that isn't Harvard or Yale, etc. Anyway, enough intro...here's a quick quote from this article that really defines the main point...</p>
<p>"It’s the student’s passion, hard work, and grades that defines their success. It’s not an elite name to carry around like a badge but honest experience backed by years of hard work, volunteering, studying,and learning."</p>
<p>Not everyone “forces their child to do activities they aren’t interested in for the sake of a college resume”. I stringently advised my children to not stress themselves out and only participate in the activities of interest to them and to not worry about what their peers were doing. My children were in bed by 11 pm every school night. Both ended up val of their respective classes and at one of the HYPSM schools. I think getting adequate rest played a big part in their success as well as concentrating their efforts on what was on interest to them personally.</p>
<p>2bornot2bivy I agree that not everyone does it. I was just thinking about the competition starting at preschool to get kids in the right school. And I suspect sleep has a lot to do with success as well. If you don’t mind my asking, I’m curious, how do you think you compared to the parents of your children’s friends? And did your children see themselves different from their friends?</p>
<p>Yeah, any such pressure like that is really counterproductive. It’s not the people who check boxes in order to get into HYPSM that get into HYPSM. It’s the people who’d be following their passions in high-achieving and interesting ways anyway.</p>
<p>sadilly: With the older one, he had a core group of about the same 10 similar friends all through middle and high school. They considered themselves cool nerds. I think we as a parent group were quite similar. Only one was really pressured that he needed to go to Harvard (and luckily he made it). With my younger child, 7 years later, the atmoshpere had changed and yes my child was definitely different – she was never tutored – or pressured to be involved in things she was not interested in by me. Her friends pressured her though. If anything I was often arguing with her that she would be “fine” if she skipped the extra sport or club or even AP class that she wasn’t really interested in. She did take some AP classes I would not have predicted because of peer pressure – if you want to be considered a smart kid at our HS you have to get into the top AP math and science classes. On the other hand she rose to the challenge and did well in those classes even though she had been pegged as an artistic, not nerdy, kid prior to high school. Ironically she was not initially all that interested in the Ivies, then her friends convinced her she needed to apply to HYPSM because in their opinion that was where the smart kids from our HS ended up. But all through HS she had friends who would question her one core extracurr. and say point blank “That’s not enough”.</p>
<p>and that explains my screen name as I was constantly telling D if she preferred a non ivy that was fine by me but to make her college choice for her own reasons not because of what her peers thought.</p>
<p>I think articles about college admissions are ridiculous. How many people make any significant difference in their lives to go to a selective college? Very few people are actually interested in attending an Ivy and fewer actually make a real effort to do so.</p>
<p>i think Ivy’s are attractive because they’re so well known, especially internationally. Obviously the prestige factor plays into it, and there are also some students that simply find their dream school happens to be an ivy. A good friend of mine just got into Brown today and I assure you, she doesn’t care about the name. She’s absolutely brilliant and ecstatic to be accepted due to the school itself, not the reputation associated.</p>
<p>If your doing something you enjoy you’ll get into a college that focuses on whatever that is whether it be art, math, science or lit.</p>
<p>That said I enjoy alot of different things, so I’m involved in different clubs. High school should also be about testing the waters and experiencing new things, although you shouldn’t do alot of activities you hate to get into a good college.</p>
<p>With AP classes, I know at our school there is quite a bit of pressure to take them but they are also the classes with the best teachers and most interesting projects, that is why alot of kids take them (and it’s an extra point in your GPA)</p>
<p>If your doing something you enjoy you’ll get into a college that focuses on whatever that is whether it be art, math, science or lit.</p>
<p>That said I enjoy alot of different things, so I’m involved in different clubs. High school should also be about testing the waters and experiencing new things, although you shouldn’t do alot of activities you hate to get into a good college.</p>
<p>With AP classes, I know at our school there is quite a bit of pressure to take them but they are also the classes with the best teachers and most interesting projects, that is why alot of kids take them (and it’s an extra point in your GPA)</p>
<p>It is sick what the parents would do to get their kids to get accepted at Ivy league schools. I know a plenty of them who spends enormous sums of money like $30,000 to hire an consultant who will invent a kid with the kind of accomplishments Ivy leagues look for. But the truth is these kids are not any smarter than any other hard working kids. And the sadder truth is that they do get accepted at Ivy league schools.</p>
<p>My kids did not feel pressured to get into a top college. They took the hardest classes offered at their HS and then some. They accelerated quite a bit, did independent studies, long distance courses, etc. all because they would not be happy with classes that were too easy as they crave academic challenge and set high standards for themselves. NONE of those choices were to get into college. They’d have done the same if they never went to college. They would have gotten top grades even if never applying to college as they are not satisfied if not doing their best. </p>
<p>As far as extracurricular endeavors, they were heavily engaged in them every afternoon, night and weekend and had many significant achievements in those activities. If they were never going to college, they would have chosen the exact same activities I am 100% sure, because they had a passion and interest in these areas that they had been involved in since they were very young (did not all of a sudden find activities in order to get into college). </p>
<p>There was no peer pressure given the kind of community in which they were raised and their friends did not apply to the same colleges that they did. </p>
<p>The goal was never “Ivy.”</p>
<p>Oldest D ended up at an Ivy for undergrad and has attended two tippy top grad schools in her field as well. </p>
<p>Younger D went to one of the most selective BFA programs in her artistic field that has a lower admit rate than the Ivies. </p>
<p>We never pushed our kids. I would say that our kids pushed us and wanted to do all these things growing up and we supported all their endeavors. We did not care which colleges they chose. They were free to apply and attend any school of their choosing.</p>
<p>Admittedly, both my kids are very driven and highly motivated and are achiever types.</p>
<p>It depends on where you want to go. If it’s Harvard, then it better be 2 very unique, in depth activities. If it’s your state flag ship, gpa and test scores will probably be the deciding factor.</p>
<p>I’m always thankful that my parents were never the “stereotypical Asian parents.” They always pressured me to do well in school, but I don’t mean pressured in the negative, hours of studying, extra classes outside of school, etc, etc way. They just made it perfectly clear that they expected good grades and left the rest up to me. As I prepare to enter my final semester of high school, I have a 4.0 GPA, have taken all honors/AP courses, participated in a varsity sport for 4 years, and am an avid guitarist who is very involved with the local music community.</p>
<p>That probably made me sound like a pretentious blowhard, but it’s more a compliment to my parents than to me. I will always be grateful that they never pressured me as hard as some of my friends’ parents seem to.</p>
<p>I would disagree that it stunts the creativity of high school students. Getting into college is just like any other success, like success in searching for the ideal job, or getting an internship, winning research, etc. You get how much you put into it. It’s just another walk of life.</p>