<p>Agree that the progressive colleges will be open to you and prepared to offer support. The college will have some sort of reps who deal with a variety of issues, including identity. Although they do support, eg, LGBT as a group, they are very concerned about the individual. They have training, great understanding and are non-judgmental. </p>
<p>At some schools, these reps are under Student Affairs (yeah, what a name.) Or they may be in Residential Life (which includes housing, but also more.) I’d say the easiest call is to RL, since you do want to discuss housing. The folks I know are amazing. Even if you call SA or another office first, they will likely refer you to RL for the initial issue of housing and your options. </p>
<p>It is possible to have all sorts of living situations, depends on the campus, age of dorms, what facilities they have, etc. Some campuses have gender neutral options that are open to freshmen. More allow choices after 1st year.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I don’t know about you, but my roommate my freshman year of college never saw my genitals, and I’m not sure why anyone’s should. It’s an easy enough thing to avoid.</p>
<p>So in the unlikely event that either of the posters here has already changed their legal name prior to entering college, and has already changed the gender on at least some of their identification documents from male to female, I can’t imagine why they shouldn’t share a room with another female student, or why the status of their genitals – whatever it is – would ever need to be to be disclosed to anyone at the school, or would be anyone’s damn business other than a doctor’s or a romantic partner’s. Period. Any more than a non-trans person should be obligated to disclose their genital configuration to a roommate. </p>
<p>But unless that’s the case, it’s a little more complicated than that. So I really think that the best thing to do is to contact one or more of the LGBT organizations, or faculty representatives designated to advise LGBT students (if there is such a person) on that campus – even before contacting residential housing – and seek their advice about how to approach and handle the housing question under the person’s particular circumstances. Given how much variation there is in different trans people’s circumstances, and in the social, medical, and legal state of their transition (assuming that they’re planning to transition during college in the first place), and in the policies and situation for trans people on different campuses (I know that as recently as 6 or 7 years ago, Yale, for example, had exactly one out trans undergraduate, a trans guy), it’s impossible to give more specific advice than that. </p>
<p>And Sorghum, your comment is less accurate than you think (what people say they would do isn’t necessarily what they actually do), but even if it were entirely accurate, the dating preferences of straight men have nothing whatsoever to do with this thread. Thanks for sharing, though.</p>
<p>Whether or not it’s an ideal policy, virtually all colleges assure students that if they live with roommates, their roommates will be of the same gender they are. And students count on this – especially in situations where they are being placed with one or more strangers. </p>
<p>This presents a problem when dealing with transgender students. At what point in the transition does the student’s gender switch from one to the other? And how does this affect the student’s housing placement?</p>
<p>The simplest solution is for the student to be placed in a single in a co-ed dorm – preferably one that has many singles so that the student’s situation isn’t obviously unusual. This type of placement is not at all unpleasant or isolating. In fact, many students prefer it above all other types of dorm housing.</p>
<p>This is why I was hoping that the OP was going to Columbia – it has lots of singles for freshmen, and they’re in a co-ed building.</p>
<p>But this type of placement isn’t going to happen on its own. The Housing people need to know.</p>
<p>Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs. Most colleges guarantee that first year students will have roommates of the same gender identity. That means identity. I know of two trans freshmen at Swarthmore one of whom opted for a single and the other, who identifies as female but was born biologically male went through the regular housing process and has a female roommate. Easy. No problems at all. That said, on the housing questionnaire, you can check off whether or not you are trans friendly (also queer friendly). I feel fairly confident that they would only put a trans identified student with a trans friendly student, that is if the school new the student was trans.</p>
<p>Apropos of nothing, there is a student at Smith (he may have graduated by now, not sure) who was biologically female, was enrolled and during that time made the transition from living as a female to living as a male. (I have no idea what that entailed in terms of actual surgery, etc. - other than he now presents and lives as a male.) He was even elected president of the student body or something of that nature. While I have nothing but support for this young man, I can see why it would be confusing to have someone expecting an all-women’s college to be rooming with someone who is now male, and frankly I don’t know why he didn’t transfer - because if he doesn’t want to identify with / be a woman, that’s totally fine, but the purpose of a woman’s college is for women IMO.</p>
<p>As a private college, if Smith decided that it wasn’t an issue…what’s the big deal? </p>
<p>Moreover, considering Smith is part of the 5 college consortium…there’s some men from other consortium colleges like Hampshire, Amherst, and UMass who take classes at Smith. Mt. Holyoke is also a member of that consortium and like Smith…has male students taking courses from other consortium colleges. </p>
<p>Wellesley also has an arrangement in which MIT students…including male students can take courses at Wellesley while Wellesley students can take courses at MIT. Several Wellesley and male MIT students I knew took full advantage of that. They also seem to have a semester-exchange agreement with Dartmouth. </p>
<p>Bryn Mawr has arrangements with Haverford, Swarthmore, and UPenn.</p>
<p>And then there’s Barnard where from what I’ve observed as a visitor…plenty of Columbia male students take courses at Barnard and/or use their library facilities. Heck, I enjoyed studying in the Barnard library because it was so quiet and had great natural lighting.</p>
<p>In short, with few exceptions…attending an all-women’s college doesn’t mean that their students/campus is hermetically sealed off from male students…and they aren’t in actual practice. In light of that…I found your stated opinion above to be quite puzzling…</p>
<p>@ Pizzagirl. Though I didn’t bring it up earlier, I was really confused about the genital issue. I didn’t know freshman at college normally exhibit their private region to their peers. </p>
<p><em>Not looking forward to college anymore</em> LOL</p>
<p>@DonnaL Thanks for your advice. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. :)</p>
<p>Oh wow, didn’t expect so many responses. I don’t see housing as an issue at all since I already requested a single. I’ll be reading through these and check out the links. Thanks to all!</p>
<p>cobrat, despite your usual air of authority, you clearly understand very little about the strong identity of women’s colleges. You seem to think that they are perhaps female-dominated dorms at coed college consortiums. And your information about the various college exchange programs is shaky. As pizzagirl states, the basic mission of Wellesley is women’s education. It is perfectly reasonable, IMHO, to wonder why a person who strongly identified as a man would chose to go there.</p>
<p>Actually, I understand the strong identity of women’s colleges as the colleges/alums perceive it…and how they actually are in practice from knowing many who attended/partook in the exchange programs I mentioned above and from my own observations from having visited/studied on some of their campuses. </p>
<p>Two very different things…one is how the college/alums and to some extent…sympathetic popular perception perceive their identity and second…the undeniable fact that male students are a part of Women’s College’s academic and larger campus life…however much those college admins/alums may want to downplay/deny that fact. </p>
<p>Speaking of Wellesley, knew dozens of MIT male students who took advantage of the Wellesley-MIT arrangement to take humanities/social science courses there if they wanted a challenge and a glimpse of the Women’s College experience. </p>
<p>By the same token, knew dozens of Wellesley students who used the same exchange to take full advantage of MIT’s strengths…including one HS classmate who took almost all of her CS major courses there because Wellesley’s offerings weren’t challenging enough for her even though she loved the Wellesley Women-centered LAC experience. </p>
<p>Also, knew some male UMass, Hampshire, and Amherst alums who took advantage of the 5 college consortium to take courses at Smith and Mt. Holyoke. </p>
<p>And then there’s Barnard where it’s so common for Barnard/Columbia students to be using their respective counterpart’s academic resources, buildings, faculty, dorms, cafeterias, and more that one could easily fail to realize Barnard is actually an autonomous Women’s College…albeit in association with Columbia University.</p>
I’m aware most straight men will not date a transgender person. About half would hook up with one though if it’s just a one-time thing. However, it only takes a few good matches who are willing to date me for me to have an active dating life.</p>
<p>I’m thinking about adding a major computer science because I’m interested in entering the technology field. I thought I could do this through marketing/advertising but I figured CS would be a better option (and might even allow me to do both CS and marketing/advertising down the road). I’m still interested in pursuing history (or one of the social sciences) as a double major. I want to position myself to work in Google and Facebook or the Googles and Facebooks of the future.</p>
I recently contacted the leaders of the LGBT org at this school and what they had to say was very reassuring. They had a very mature, sophisticated approach towards dealing with the situation that surprised me. They made me feel that regardless of where I’m coming from, I would be embraced and supported, even if I choose not to invest so much of my time in the group. I also found great diversity among the LGBT people, including LGBTs who fall along various points of the political spectrum and have different religious beliefs, ethnicities, and nationalities. One of the leaders of the organization is actually a straight man, which surprised me, but I guess I should not be surprised given the diversity this university intentionally selects for. </p>
<p>The funny thing is when visiting, I got this very welcoming vibe before I even inquired about LGBT-related stuff. This is in huge contrast to what I found at a certain Ivy Plus university on the West Coast where when I mentioned I’m an MtoF transgender, one person immediately laughed and another other person tried to repress laughter that was clearly not benevolent in nature. I thought it was very immature, esp. coming from students who identify as LGBT. My biggest fear coming into all of this is gay-on-gay bullying more so than straight-on-gay bullying.</p>
<p>
Thank you for your support. I’m never one to be angry because I recognize people are coming from different places. However, I do expect students at a highly selective university to be thoughtful and mature in their approach towards issues, even if they might not be familiar with them. My personal philosophy is that I have to be very deliberate in how I react to others as reacting too aggressively can be counterproductive if my ultimate goal is opening others’ minds. It can also reveal how much power the other person has over me if I have to make a fuss to protest his/her lack of validation of who I am.</p>
<p>Be sure you’re prepared for the heavy math intensive workloads and the intro weedout experience. This goes double if you attempt to double major in history as the departments at Columbia and UPenn are both strong and will assign a fair amount of reading(100 pgs/week/course for first years…and that will rise as you advance) and paper assignments ranging from 5-10 to as much as 20-40 pages in your upper-class seminar/colloquiums. </p>
<p>If at any point in the semester you’re unclear about the course material, DON’T WAIT until midterms or worse, finals. Stay on top of your workload so you don’t fall behind as this will definitely hurt you…especially in an intro weedout courses you’re likely to encounter. </p>
<p>Make it a point to go to Prof’s/TA’s office hours not only to clarify course material, but also to build enough rapport to ask to do undergrad research, advice on careers/grad school, and grad school/employment letters of recommendation. You may need to be pro-active with Prof. access if what my HS friends’ experience with CS Profs at Columbia or UPenn still applies nowadays. </p>
<p>Good luck and hope you have a challenging, yet enjoyable fun-filled undergraduate career. :)</p>
<p>Disclosure: Graduated with History degree while taking two intro CS programming courses for majors to fulfill science requirements and out of personal interest.</p>
<p>The most likely reason girls are man to you and guys are not is that you’re probably beautiful, smart and nice at the same time. Let’s not sugarcoat the situation, ladies and gentlemen (and transsexuals). Girls love to assume I’m feminist because I’m gay, but ACTUALLY, I do not hesitate to call out girl-on-girl bullying when I see it and treat it the same as gay-on-gay bullying and other kinds of bullying that I am adamantly against and vocally condemn. I doubt you will have trouble finding sophisticated people (gay and non-gay) at this urban Ivy who have a mature outlook on life, and who understand that some people are just beautiful, nice, and intelligent, and that’s okay. </p>
<p>If the urban Ivy you’re talking about is Harvard, I’m not surprised at all about your assessments of the scene. Indeed, Harvard is very accepting, mostly of the ilk of gays who ARE NOT the kind who are so dogmatic about gay equality to the point of sacrificing intellectual sophistication, who hypocritically profess to care about one kind of equality and then perpetuate another through their consumer choices. Harvard is very welcoming of those who are passionate about equality (as well as others who are not) who are grounded, intellectually sophisticated, down-to-earth, and distinctly non-materialistic. I’m a gay conservative and have found a home here. I have to say Harvard does an excellent job of screening out gays who are of that other kind, the ones who are self-victimizing and take advantage of their plight to seek attention. If you want those kind of gays, go to Stanford. For some reason, a lot of gays apply there with visions of “Gay San Francisco” and a “carefree” and “laidback” college experience in their heads. They manage to get in in droves. Those who apply to Harvard as well don’t get in.</p>
<p>Hunh? What in the world does this have to do with this thread?</p>
<p>Maybe you should learn to write a little more clearly before you boast about your intellectual sophistication? Using “ilk” doesn’t do it for me.</p>
<p>Also: in private you can use whatever terms you like, but I suspect you’re well aware that except in entirely facetious contexts, most gay people – certainly most of the ones I know – find the use of “gays” as a noun to be rather insulting. My son, for example, is not “a gay.” He’s a gay man.</p>
<p>Most of the trans guys I’ve heard of at women’s colleges – and this is hardly a new phenomenon; there have been periodic articles about it for at least the last decade – didn’t start identifying as guys until they were already in college. As to why they don’t transfer, I strongly suspect that safety concerns, and not wanting to leave a familiar, supportive environment, have a lot to do with it.</p>
<p>But I won’t consider women’s colleges to be truly “trans-friendly” until they actually start admitting trans students who do identify as women. I’ve never heard of one yet that was willing to admit a trans woman, unless she had already transitioned, legally. And the number of 18-year olds who’ve done that is still vanishingly small.</p>