<p>I think it's probably a mistake to start the application process (writing essays, completing the application) looking at the essays. They are so daunting.</p>
<p>I made myself a timetable and tried to start writing the essays first because they seemed the most time-consuming thing. I found it so difficult. I felt like the most stupid person in the world. I wasn't clever enough or interesting enough or just straight good enough. I did force myself to produce some essays to fit my self-imposed timetable but they were terrible. I felt so discouraged, how could I even be thinking of applying to these schools, surely it was all just completely pointless. I never wanted to look at those forms again.</p>
<p>What helped me was to start filling in the other sections of the form(s), particularly the sections for ECs and awards. Most people don't have a very clear picture of what they have achieved in those areas and tend to underestimate what they have done, so seeing it all laid out can be a real ego boost: 'Look at all these things, I am not such a terrible failure after all! tli83 is back in the game!'</p>
<p>So I guess my advice to your son would be: Start with the easy stuff, the things that makes you feel confident and good about your application. Most people can find something. Don't feel you have to do everything at once. Think, gather your resources, and the essays will come. I wrote my essays later than my tense little timetable allowed, but they were better essays and took a lot less time to actually write once I got down to it.</p>
<p>My advice for you would be: Make sure you know those essential deadlines Marian has listed. Make sure your son knows them too. If you want to, check a few days before to avert disaster in getting recommendations or something. As for the rest, I would let him make his own pace. You will know if he is the kind of person who is likely to actually miss such an important deadline as applying for college. Although it is different for different people, personally, having someone else impose a series of additional deadlines would have been terrible. Either I would miss them and heap yet more failure and guilt onto myself, or I would feel compelled to move forward with essays I wasn't happy with and the continual nagging fear that I would be rejected because of them. Neither option puts you in a good frame of mind to be writing an essay telling people what an interesting and worthwhile person you are: 'Pick me, the boring, stupid one who can't write!'</p>
<p>fortunately our son only had to write two essays and one short answer. But they didn't take him more than a few hours to do. As is his style, he may have been thinking about them for a while before he put pen to paper, er fingers to keyboard.</p>
<p>His main essay was about his imperfect teeth-a James Taylor lyric(Sun on the Moon)-Disney World vacation-and his attitude toward looming adulthood which was funny, self-depricating and gave readers a personal glimpse of himself. </p>
<p>I think too many students wrack their brains trying to work a grand theme into their essays which end up being somewhat stilted and unauthentic. </p>
<p>The real work in the whole college app process is not the essays and applications themselves. That is the simple part. The most difficult thing is to figure out which colleges they should be sending applications to.</p>
<p>Here is a sure fire way to motivate your senior. Arrange to visit the local campus of your State U (Rutgers?). Announce afterwards that, "Well, if nothing else gets done this is a low cost, live at home option for your freshman year." And that where he goes to college is now off your worry docket, and he should let you know if he needs anything.</p>
<p>I did this with our local, highly-respected, perfectly-fine, campus of UTexas. My kids all had free tuition offers from there, and could easily have commuted from home, so this was no idle threat.</p>
<p>I ran a little experiment in our house this weekend. S returned Friday night from a fantastic outdoors adventure with his Scout troop to one of his favorite places on earth. While he was gone, I vowed not to nag him--at all--about finishing the mountain of summer reading and starting his college applications (most of his schools have rolling admissions). I wanted to give him space--something I admit I am NOT very good at--to relax, sleep, and tell stories about the trip.</p>
<p>Saturday night we went out to dinner, and when we walked in the front door he said, "Well, I think I'll go upstairs and start my XXX application now." He actually had a little bounce in his step. This is not his usual m.o. for getting assignments done. This morning he told me he also started two others. He's filling in all the details first, and then will go back to the more complex parts. (He's doing them in chunks--rolling admissions now, then EA, then regular admissions/Common App later in the fall.)</p>
<p>Moral of this story, and note to myself: No hand wringing, high pressure, or nagging--only support, as in "what do you need to stay organized and motivated"? They'll get it done.</p>
<p>It's been 17 years, and I'm still figuring out that parenting is a constant learning process!</p>
<p>NewJerseyMom, I think we are living with the same kid. This one is my third and I feel so experienced that I wanted to pass on all my savviness to him and save him from a lot of pressure later by having him get started over summer. He did fill out the common app and wrote two trial essays but he has done a lot less than I wanted (considering how many schools he says he wants to apply to) and most of it has been because I've nagged him. I know I've really gotten on his nerves. He was so driven all year and then so much less so this summer. I'm sure it will all get done in the end and that school starting will kick him into gear. I find going through this process a third time makes it harder -- it never occurred to me to start in the summer with the first and the essays weren't even available back then. It reminds me of one of the wisest things my pediatrician ever said to me. When my fourth child was having difficulty learning to nurse I said, "I don't understand, I'm so experienced." He said, "Yes, but it's HIS first time." I'm going to try to remember that. No matter what I've learned along the way, this is his first time and my experience only counts for so much.</p>