I think most people know that a good opening that drags the reader in is the way to go. And by most people, I also mean the top-dollar college consultants who are at times writing essays for kids. I don’t actually believe that admissions folks can necessarily tell who wrote an essay, because let’s face it - there are teenagers who are incredible writers and write like an adult would, and adults who know how to write like a teenager might. It’s nice to think the admissions folks could tell, but I really don’t think they can.
I agree with those who said you should trust the counselor, not yourself or your relatives, and not an English teacher. I assume, since you are in such a competitive environment that you hired a college counselor just because that’s what everyone in your area does if they hope to get into an Ivy, that you found someone who has experience shepherding kids through the Ivy application process. If this counselor doesn’t know what kind of essay Ivy adcoms are looking for, then you’ve wasted your money. And if you think you (or your relatives) know better than the professional counselor what the essay should look like, then why aren’t YOU making money as a college counselor? Don’t you think that this person probably knows more about this area than you do?
My D’s college counselor (who used to read application essays for Stanford) said over and over again that what an application essay needs isn’t flawless prose or analytical prowess – it needs to show who the student is. It needs to speak with the student’s voice and make the admissions officers want to get to know your kid and to have them at their school. If your kid’s essay does that, then it is a successful essay.
Finally, you need to think about whether your intervention in this case might not do more harm than good. You have to let your D own this process, or she will frankly resent you for your interference. I understand that you feel you’re shelling out good money here and you want to make sure it’s well spent, but this is more than just a service you are buying – this is the process by which your D will decide where she goes to school for the next 4 years. You will have to let her make her own decisions even if you think they are the wrong ones. What will you do if she decides to attend a school that you think is not “the right one” for her? Will you be able to back off and let her make that decision?
@WannaBeInMD
Consider this: You are doing the same thing here as you did with the college counselor.
You came here asking for opinions. The opinions are nearly unanimous: Let your D own the process, trust the college counselor. Not what you wanted to hear. So you are dismissing the opinions and advice. Same as with the counselor.
FWIW, I agree that the essay should not be buffed and polished.
The best advice my son received on what colleges are looking for in the application essay came from an admissions officer at Wesleyan. He said, “Let us into your world.”
Parent pleasing essays are often to bland and pat-me-on the-head sounding. Edgy essays are okay in my book if you pull it off. I think I mostly made good suggestions for my daughter but I did suggest a cutesy ending line I wish I hadn’t. Fortunately she figured out a whole great essay and story pretty well without seeing a bunch of polished ones and I still find it one of the best I have read (you could argue I have no perspective and I agree but were were told that by some colleges and her GC.) Thank goodness I didn’t know the stakes were high and make her do test prep and essay coach, lol.
You probably won’t want to post here if you ask opinion and can can’t stand opinionated answers or want to knock high post count people who like to stick around helping and learning, seriously just best to take it all in and use it as food for thought.
Are you male? That comment about it is my application money so I have a say is like a controlling man. It is just an application fee. It isn’t like it is a substantial amount like a college you need to green light affordability for.
I never read my kid’s essay. I found it later when I was going through boxes of college stuff to throw out. I was not blown away and I’m sure I would have tried get him to change things if I had read it before submission. He was accepted to all 9 schools he applied to.
After I read it he told me he had written it in 15 minutes.
Yes, and for this reason I think essays should removed from the admissions equation.
Remember also…your daughter will be the one submitting her applications…and when the time comes…SHE will be attaching her essay to the application…not you.
There is a fabulous NPR broadcast of This American Life. It’s an interview with an adcom from Georgia Tech…and basically talks about parent “input” on applications. I almost drove off the road laughing when I heard it. Not sure if it’s available as a podcast…but maybe someone here knows.
@calmom do you remember this podcast?
Yep…that’s it! Part of it is actually hilarious!!
If I were actually paying someone to assist with and review my D’s college essay, I would probably not even read it much less try to make her start over at square one or send it to random relatives to gang up on her. If I sent my kids’ essay to my sister, she would probably suggest that I seek help.
I’m hoping that my kid will ask someone (not necessarily me) to read her essays if she ever gets around to writing them, but I don’t see the need for five opinions.
I didn’t read D’s essay last year when she was writing it. In part, I felt it was none of my business. But also, wherever she was admitted, I wanted her to feel it was on her own merits. As far as I know, her GC is the only adult who read it before it was submitted. She offered a two-word assessment: “It’s fine.”
BrownParent,
OP could also be a single mom.
One lesson I learned, not in time for UG but for grad, is that parent(s) can add one school of their choice.
Forty-plus years ago I hand-wrote my essays in the space on the application form, with an extra page attached. I have godawful handwriting, by the way. I thought they were pretty good, but never showed them to my counselor, much less my parents. I was at boarding school, and my parents weren’t really part of the equation. My kids also went to boarding school. I’m not sure about the elder, who was infuriatingly casual about the entire process, but the younger reviewed his essay drafts with his college adviser and his IB/SL English teacher (who is also in charge of the entire IB program). They both mentioned some concerns they had, but neither my husband nor I ever considered asking our son to show us his essay(s). I think he took their suggestions into account, and submitted what he was satisfied with. He got into Pitzer, which has a low acceptance rate, but is known for its “holistic” approach. I would be surprised to learn that his essay(s) got him rejected from Berkeley, UNC-CH, and Claremont-McKenna; they were reaches for his scores and grades. Perhaps astonishing essays might have put him over the top at one of them. It’s impossible to know. What the adviser and the English teacher both criticized was my son’s reluctance to put himself in the center of his essays, instead of his interests and activities.
“The more money you have, the better your essay looks, and it counts big.”
Frankly , that sounds like nothing more than an excuse or weak justification for you to continue to try to meddle.
You have NO way of knowing how essays are evaluated at individual colleges as you have not seen the essays that have been submitted NOR been in the rooms when the admission decisions are made.
The problem I see with this situation is who owns the outcome? If your daughter writes the essay, and people who know her extremely well read it and offer comments and then she decides what to do with them, well, it’s her essay. If she’s admitted, she was admitted on her merits. If she’s rejected, well she gave it her best try and didn’t appeal to them. But now you bring in a paid professional whose opinion you are not sure you can trust. What happens? If she’s admitted, was it because the school wanted her or because she was marketed? Is she only there because of slick marketing? Will she have imposter syndrome if things get rough? If she’s rejected, how will she feel about that? Was it because her essay didn’t ring true? Was it because she did what the counselor said and it didn’t pay off? Will she feel any resentment about being told to listen to this person? And how will you feel?
To be fair, I’ve seen all kinds of essays that have “worked”. Some are one out of 10 versions that have been polished to perfection. Some are students’ own work without any outside critiques/proofreading whatsoever. Some are all parents’, counselor or whoever’s work… In reality, I believe only in rare cases is the essay the make or break factor of an otherwise strong application, assuming it’s done with reasonably serious effort. I understand that parents want every piece of the application to be as close to perfection as possible so as to maximize the chance of any one indeed tipping the scale, but the child needs to be onboard with it. If your son is willing to take time and write multiple versions of the essay or essays on multiple topics, then there might be a better one. Right now however if the counselor OKs it, at least it means it is not raising any red flag or becoming a break factor, it’s not worth “fighting” over it with your son or his counselor. There are other pieces in the application that are likely more important.
D just admitted to me today that she does not like her essay. Since I had refrained from saying anything directly to her, she thought I was as happy with it as the college counselor, and so she figured her instincts were off.
I now wonder what would have happened if I had decided not to say anything and she also decided not to say anything - perhaps she would have ended up submitting something she didn’t feel good about. This was actually a good lesson for me to not be afraid to speak up because a kid, however bright they might be, doesn’t always have the confidence to do it themselves. The most important thing is for her to feel good about it - I guess we all agree on that! Now she has to find the courage to speak up and say something to the counselor.
^^All she has to do is revise it or write an another! And submit that to the counselor, if she wants.
Her counselor does NOT have veto power over what your D decides to submit. Its her essay.
And - It’s ONLY Aug 30- she has plenty of time to submit an essay she is proud if.