I want to write my common app essay on a program I started in my school, that connects students in my school with conflict-affected high schoolers in the middle east to tutor in English. The program itself is unique and is really, really important to me. I want to write about how I got to know my student, and how we connected over a love of cooking which led me to the realization that despite the completely different “worlds” we live in (he lives in a conflict-zone), my ability to connect among the smallest things. The program I am talking about is completely unique. I don’t have a cliche’ writing style. But is the topic itself cliche’- are ad officers so tired of reading essays about “I learned this and this from the person I helped” that they will dismiss this essay completely?
My guess is that the program is probably covered elsewhere in your application, and that your essay might be better used to describe some other aspect of who you are.
That said, there’s nothing to lose by writing a rough draft and then seeing what you think.
@bjkmom It is covered on the common app in 100 characters, which isn’t much. I’m using this for my EC essay for UCs, but many colleges I’m applying to using the common app don’t ask for an EC essay. I did write a draft and liked it, but was still worried that the whole “learned from someone you helped thing” many not be ideal
I’d say the topic is a little cliché, but the program and your commitment to it is interesting. So… you MIGHT be able to make a “cliché” topic work for you. Or… you might be able to find different things about your relationship to the program to explore besides that one. Can you dig deeper, and find different angles?
I think it sounds full of great potential. It isn’t just about some EC, it’s about what you learned, gained, and more, via this level of connection to the other fellow. I wouldn’t worry one bit that a club topic is cliche. This is not about the club (which only needs a line or two to set the stage.) Done right, you can show many attributes colleges look for, come across as an open, enthusiastic kid and more. Try it. Try to have an idea of what traits to show (not just tell.)
I could try to find different angles, but running the everyday logistics on the program is not particularly interesting and while it did teach me organization, leadership, etc, it was pretty standard. I guess I could write abaout learning arabic from him, but again, most of the topics keep coming back learning things from my student… because I did. Not that I am privileged, or that needy people are happy with what they have, and those standard “lessons”- I learned about Syria’s culture or food, what its like to live in a farm… we had this ridiculous lesson about everytime english contradicts itself. I guess it was about what makes people connect and about trust.
I guess I could write about my solution to the problem I had in my school- is how do you get people to donate to the refugee crisis? You throw these sob stories, or these videos of people crying and everythiing- but the irony is that its when many of our tutors learned about the “human” side of the conflict, about syria’s food or culture or langauge, their students personalities, that’s when they really wanted to donate and help- essentially when they learned about things that had nothing to do with conflict or war.
Does that make sense? I don’t know, I’m kind of just thinking out loud right now?
It’s rare for a college essay to be truly original - statistically speaking, how could they be? But that’s okay; what’s important is how it’s written and how you give a glimpse of your own originality, with the essay as a vehicle.
What will require finesse about this essay is to avoid the tropes and objectionable attitudes that can cling to topics like this. You don’t want to come off as the privileged kid who is patting him/herself on the back for Helping The Unfortunate. And you don’t want to make a weak attempt to avoid that pitfall, and instead end up with “inspiration porn” that appropriates the challenges in your conversation partner’s life to make you appreciate your good fortune and so on.
This isn’t criticism of you or your program, which sounds awesome. What I would suggest, though, is that rather than trying to sound insightful about having learned from those you helped, that you might want to dial back the whole presumption of helping and frame your initiative in a more level-playing-field, cultural-exchange kind of way. This takes away nothing from the initiative and work that it took for you to build the program, but it defuses the more problematic power dynamics around the whole “me to the rescue” cliche. Yes, you took your time to coach these young people in their English language skills… but then again, they took their time to educate young Americans, who have had the privilege of not growing up in a war zone, about the realities of their lives.
Maybe, just as a preparatory thought exercise, see if you can imagine what your conversation partner would write, if they had to write an essay about the experience of getting to know you.
And then brainstorm your own essay from a meticulously-respectful frame of reference that treats their contribution as an act of service, every bit as much as yours was.
Once you establish that foundation, then you can start building something fresh on top of it, that gives your reader a taste of your unique voice, personality, and value system.
I still like this:
“I want to write about how I got to know my student, and how we connected over a love of cooking which led me to the realization that despite the completely different “worlds” we live in (he lives in a conflict-zone), my ability to connect among the smallest things…”
To me, a fine angle. Lots you can show. Not describing the program, you organizing, etc. That would be plain.
If needed, rethink what a college app essay is meant to convey, the adjectives.
@lookingforward that’s what my current draft is about…I thought that my draft is not too cliche’ but I wasn’t sure since I’m not an AO. Thank you for the feedback.
@aquapt I see- there is very, very little about the “impact” of Paper Airplanes on the students we work with on the essay. The majority of my essay is on connecting with someone, though I’ll admit I wrote about my student telling me about war, I actually focused mainly on the little things we connected on, about life in a farm, about Syria’s food, and how that led to a trust.
I did not write about me helping the needy or about my realization of my privelege. I do agree that those are cliche’ topics and in any way, not what I learned from this program. I wrote about learning how to connect with people, not just a refugee, but any person. The only thing I wrote that might be cliche’ is that I mentioned that I researched so much about the factual sense of the refugee crisis (its a reallyy important issue for me, and I ddi some research and advocacy on it, though I don’t discuss it in my essay) that I didn’t get to know the human side of things. I can delete that though
Thank you all for the feedback!
So you have learned a really fundamental lesson in communications and fundraising, etc. And that is that if you can get your audience to care about ONE PERSON, the “cause” seems much more important to them. Journalists, NGOs, etc. follow this tactic a lot. Just brainstorming here, but why don’t you research how that communication tactic is used in other situations? You will see it all over when you start looking for it! Maybe you could weave that in if you wanted to, that you discovered what it turns out is a universal truth about human beings – that the plight of the specific individual moves people far more than a broader cause does. I kind of like the idea of you talking about at first focusing more on the big picture, then having it become so much more important when you got to know “your person”. And then maybe seeing how that is true (and is used in other contexts) in ways you hadn’t realized before. Just an idea. 