<p>Coming back from time away from your high school friends, where you've been meeting new people and discovering more about yourself, is going to give some perspective to those relationships. It's only after a year at college that you figure out which high school friends are "true friends" that you're really compatible with, and which were just "friends of convenience". </p>
<p>That's not necessarily a bad thing.</p>
<p>I'm experiencing the opposite of the OP. It is so refreshing to be hanging out with my old friends and realize they truly care about me. I'm sure I'm lucky with them, and part of it is probably that I had a couple awful "friends" this last year, but I'm not learning how to cherish my good, longtime friendships a whole heck of a lot more than I ever did before this summer.</p>
<p>But I agree completely with etselec - these people I'm talking about are my real friends, and it's a perspective I've gained through the college freshman year experience. A lot of people from high school aren't part of my life anymore, and most of them I don't really miss.</p>
<p>My situation is weird, but pretty funny.</p>
<p>In high school, I went to an all guys' school, so all of my friends are guys. In college, for some reason or another, almost all of my good friends are girls. I think that's part of the reason that I'm still so close with my high school friends...because I need guy time every once and a while and I will rarely get that in CP. And I know my high school friends understand me on a level that none of my college friends can (and vice versa), so it's refreshing.</p>
<p>Also, it's interesting to me who I hang out with from my high school now that I'm in college...they aren't the people I hung out with most in high school.</p>
<p>I only talk to one or two people from high school at this point (rising junior). Most of my classmates went to our state school-umdcp. I went away</p>
<p>In my situation, the people I hung out with in high school were all friends with one another. We're just one big group and that's the main reason we've probably maintained such strong cohesion. Like, a couple days ago I made an event to go out to dinner on FB, and I felt REALLY uncomfortable inviting everyone but my one friend (we live in IL and she's at her college, doing research. Her college is in California. Yeaaaaah.) There would be literally zero point in inviting her since she's not coming home again until late August but I still felt I should have invited her anyway.</p>
<p>I guess you can still tell that the breaks are starting to form... we all have our groups of friends and a couple of us are starting to break away but for the most part, we're still pretty together. We've used FB to stay in touch-- we have a couple news threads that all of us are sent and so we can keep in touch. Some of us never talk but read, some of us talk more than others (ha, that would be meeee), but that's really our way of maintaining communication...</p>
<p>I guess it depends on how seriously you value the friendship and how seriously EVERYONE values the friendship. It goes both ways, you know? We're all really committed on being friends for a very long time-- even if we never say it, you can kind of tell by the level of effort we make in making regular huge get togethers-- and it's worked out really well. We're all very similar when it comes to friendships in the end and I guess that's kind of important as well.</p>
<p>We were spread all over-- I was furthest east in VA and my friend who's in Cali was furthest west. Everyone else was scattered across IL-- from the Chicagoland area to downstate-- and over IA. But I remember a few nights where I was talking to my friend in Cali. My friend in IA who I'm having lunch with tomorrow after my massive test and whose house I go over to a lot still kept me incredibly sane when I was freaking out the entire school year and as I struggled with whether or not I should transfer. (I am.) My friend who went to school in Chicago had serious boy drama that I still dealt with and empathized with a thousand miles away. Right now, I'm working at the same place that one of my friends who went to school in IA recommended and I pretty much see her twice or thrice a week, just through work. We regularly hang out (except like right now and the next week since I have finals and I actually have a major test tomorrow I should be sleeping for right now but oh well) and I honestly can mean it when I say it's like time didn't pass.</p>
<p>Anyway, this is long I know but I just wanted to illustrate that it can work. To be honest, it often times doesn't. And it's okay if it doesn't, even though it seems really daunting right now. But it can work-- it definitely won't be easy and it certainly won't be the same as it was in high school, but who wants their relationships to stay stagnant and staid?</p>
<p>OH AND SHADESOFPALE, THAT IS SO FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT HAAAA. We had a Sisterhood of Traveling Pants kind of thing only it was with a stuffed chicken (Mr. Chicken :D Tis sad he could not be named that on FB, though!) We got stuck at March, though :( My friend (the one who I work with, actually) had no idea where to send him so she kept him for the remainder of the school year and now he is in her house somewhere. It was great fun. We would take pictures with him and have fun adventures and we were SUPPOSED to all write letters and keep all the past ones to send to the next person but that didn't work out too well >_></p>
<p>We're trying again this summer :K I have November so I'm pretty sure he'll get to me... lololol (not that he didn't last year-- I had January, though, and I saw my friends all winter break so I got passed him in person so I guess that's cheating, just a little.)</p>
<p>(PS-- Yeah, I know, I loled when my friend first called him MR. Chicken, too.)</p>
<p>Before I went off to college, it really bothered me that I would inevitably lose touch with many people. Now that it's actually happening, I don't mind so much because a lot of the friendships I had in high school resulted more from convenience than mutual respect/interest. My conversations with high school friends tend to be more gossipy, while those with college friends are more intellectual. Having spent the whole summer at home, I miss being able to talk about things I read or ideas I encounter. On the other hand, when I'm at school and don't see much of my high school friends, sometimes I really crave a break from all the "smart" conversations. </p>
<p>I guess, on the whole, I still feel more comfortable around high school friends because I've know them longer, and we can fall back into our routine roles. I've definitely started to part ways with people, though, and I guess the fact that this doesn't matter so much to me should tell me something about the strength of those friendships. It's enough for me to stay in touch with these people on Facebook; I don't feel the need to hang out with them that much.</p>
<p>
[quote]
My conversations with high school friends tend to be more gossipy, while those with college friends are more intellectual.
[/quote]
Where do you go to school? I'm finding almost the opposite where I go to school.</p>
<p>I realized a while back that my best friends from high school on back were friends of circumstance, I prefer the college friends much more in many ways. As for people I might see from high school that I was friends with, I don't go out of my way to hang out with them, but when I do see them I'm cool with them and get along while catching up.</p>
<p>I thought about it, and realized I'm still closer to my HS friends (some of them). I think a good way to put this into perspective is to pretend you're getting married this weekend. Who would you pick as your groomsmen/bridesmaids? I would pick only HS, no college friends. Even though I consider myself close to many college people.</p>
<p>your friends are jus jealous</p>
<p>I still see my high school friends quite a bit. Most of my friends are actually younger than me so they're either still in high school (like my bf, who is going to be a senior) or just graduated last year. Even my friends that were in my year, though ('06), I still see a fair amount. Most stayed in the state for college. The couple that went out-of-state have come back (one came back after a semester, the other went to a two-year school that she just finished at and she says she's SO glad to be back).</p>
<p>I don't actually HAVE any college friends yet, but I've only gone for a quarter so far (spring quarter). I kinda became friends with one girl; ironically enough she was a high schooler (I think she was 16-17?) doing Running Start. Obviously I am more comfortable around younger kids.</p>
<p>I mean people naturally drift apart when there isn't much proximity. I felt that my "circle of friends" in high school was larger... in college, it's a lot smaller for me. However, I think my relationships with certain people here are closer than the relationships were with some of my friends back home. There are a few back home I will always be close to, but in general, things become very fragmented.</p>
<p>It's a sad fact of life, but people always move on and change. Sometimes it's awkward to force everyone to hang out again and pretend like nothing ever changed, as it doesn't always work out that way for everyone.</p>
<p>If I had known it'd be this fragmented, I would have messed around a LOT more with girls in high school. Damn.</p>