College friends vs. old friends

<p>I have had this on my mind for the past week or so, and reading the thread about being home for the summer in the parents forum only made things worse.</p>

<p>I was just wondering how it feels for you all to come home and hang out with your old friends after being with your college friends. I realized that the people I hung out with practically all my life are just not as fun to be around as my college friends. It's not that they're boring people, or anything like that, things are just different. An example is that I was talking to my friends back home about how we play beer pong all the time, so my friend wanted to play. So we did and it was one of the most boring things in my life, I just don't find my friends back home interesting anymore. It is nice seeing old friends again, but after meeting all these great people in college, it is hard to be around them anymore.</p>

<p>There is also a jealousy factor that I wanted to touch on. The above friends that I was talking about did not go away to college, they stayed home and attend community college, and are pretty much in the same boat as they were in HS. It seems that they are always complaining about me being away from home, making new friends, etc, and often find ways to make fun of my college friends, which is pretty pointless because they will bring up the stupidest things. I also have friends who went away to college, and I never have this problem with them, probably because they have also made new friends and moved on. I was wondering if any of you guys were in this same boat.</p>

<p>sounds like ur old frenz dont party hard enuff brah. u shud dump them, lolz?</p>

<p>^^^ lol, yeah.. </p>

<p>you shouldn't have added that beer pong statement... you honestly talk about how you play beer pong all the time?</p>

<p>I don't talk to most of my friends from HS anymore. We just kinda went our separate ways and I don't have any regrets. If I'm home or planning to go home I'll call up some people to see what they're doing and if they want to hang out but I don't go out of my way anymore.</p>

<p>I guess I talk to them every once in a while on Facebook but I haven't had a phone conversation or anything like that in....well I can't remember the last time. My two years in college and the friends I have here are just people I'd rather be around. I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on one thing.</p>

<p>Not all the time, but it comes up. They ask and thats one of the things that that I tell them we do. Its not like I can say we go to the library to study but end up fooling around, and have my friends want to do that.</p>

<p>well when you don't see someone for a long period of time you don't have a lot to talk about that both of you experienced. It's all just a bunch of story telling, and a lot of the time, the stories that you tell ur old friends about your college life just aren't as interesting to them as they are to you. IDK, but I feel that just like long distance "relationships", long distance friendships are kinda hard to keep up. I mean of course you can still be friends but the friendship is likely gonna be weaker than it was when everyone saw eachother on a regular basis. </p>

<p>Wow. that ^ was kind of a mess, but I think you get my drift. lol</p>

<p>I'm really growing apart from my highschool friends. Hung out with my 2 best friends from high school yesterday and there just wasn't much to say to each other. We've all changed a lot since high school.</p>

<p>don't worry bro i know how you feel; it's bound to happen here in SoCal when you've got so many colleges in the area. I go to school in the midwest, and I occasionally get crap from my buddies here. The others in this thread are right; it's just a matter of you moving on and them stagnating. Unfortunately, you're likely to grow apart even further as times goes on...</p>

<p>:( As an incoming freshman, this makes me sad to hear. Any success stories that will give me hope for my high school friendships? If it helps at all, almost all of my hs friends are going in different directions across the country.</p>

<p>I'm getting a bit sad too! I'll have friends scattered across three times zones, and I'm leaving the country so it'll be super expensive if we want to text or communicate any way except online. It's inevitable that we'll talk far less, but I'm kinda hoping there are Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-type true stories!</p>

<p>
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As an incoming freshman, this makes me sad to hear. Any success stories that will give me hope for my high school friendships? If it helps at all, almost all of my hs friends are going in different directions across the country.

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<p>The only time you won't be friends with your old buddies from high school is if you don't want to be. I don't see my friends often but whenever I see them we are still great friends. I picked my old buddy up from a party tonight, got a few bucks and we just drove around for a while.. its nice catching up with old friends and seeing what they are up to. It's likely you and some friends will go separate ways.. but hey it'll be mutual and I don't think theres to much to be sad about. Friends come and go throughout your entire life, high school seems like its a huge deal when in all reality it really isnt.</p>

<p>I had this problem while still in high school, because so many of my friends graduated before me. It was really hard to see them go off, and most of them picked up partying while they were gone (hardly any did so in HS). Then they came back wanting to do some of that, but still wanting to hang out too. I was just so over HS and felt like I should have graduated and gone off with them, and when not all would come back for breaks it was kind of depressing.</p>

<p>As for right now, I usually only hang out with a core group of HS friends that I had the whole time but graduated with me. We all do most of the same (bowling, poker, movies, etc.) but there is some "partying" but not to the extent as we do at college. We all enjoy the old HS pace.</p>

<p>My high school friends are closer than my college friends. I rarely talk to them during the year, but when we have time off, it's like we were never away</p>

<p>This summer I feel a lot closer to my friends from back home. I guess my first year away made us realize how much we missed each other's company.</p>

<p>I think of both groups equally. My college friends and I might talk about more intellectual stuff at times, but we know how to get stupid too. One thing is for sure, college parties>>>other parties. The other ones are usually so damn trashy.</p>

<p>It all depends on how you take the situation.
A few of my really good high school friends never really left the high school phase (like constant gossip of the same people, same interests, etc), and aren't too keen on getting out and meeting new people, like I am. But that doesn't mean I'm no longer good friends with them. </p>

<p>I've changed a lot in college, I feel, positively in my opinion, and they can sense that. But, they're open to the new me, and we still are great friends and have a lot of fun. I actually just finished hanging out with my two best high school friends, and we talked for hours. So it can be successful, if you're willing to be honest about who you are/who they are, and they are willing to accept your changes (and you accept theirs, or lack thereof).</p>

<p>I don't hang out with as many of my high school friends as I use to BUT the one's I still hang out with after a year of college I feel much closer to. If a group of high school friends wants to stay friends with each other it shouldn't be hard to still hang out when everyone is back home.</p>

<p>im still closer to my HS friends than my college friends. we spread out along the east coast from NC to Boston (from NJ).a lot of our friendships go back more than 5 years and those are hard bonds to break. we have a very tight knit group where everyone is best friends and see eachtoehr almost everyday over breaks.</p>

<p>i actually think going away solidified all of our freindships and made us realize how lucky we are to have eachtoher. we all have a lot in common, yet different personalities that create a great dynamic. one of our other best friends in HS has drifted from us but thats because she feels she doesnt have anything in common with us anymore because we all went away to college and she is commuting to a subpar state school.</p>

<p>im really excited to get back to school and have fun for another year but there is no doubt in my mind whenever i come home it will still be the same. keep the contact close by randomly texting them and talking online while at school. youll most likely lose contact with most people from your graduating class, but your true friends are likely to stay close.</p>

<p>i'm an international student, and most of my friends go to college in my hometown. when i came back for christmas break, we were really close, and i realized how much i've missed being with them. yet, when i came back for summer this year, i didn't have the same level of connection with most of them. i guess after a while, you are only left with your closest high school friends whom you will never lose, and your college friends whom you spend most of your time with. yet right now, despite not being that much sclose, i still would prefer my old friends.</p>

<p>I've found that after a year of college I've grown apart from most of the people I hung out with in high school. I still hang out with them during breaks (I'm not going to sit home alone) but if I get an internship away from home next summer or the one after that I won't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being away from home (like I thought I would if I was away this summer). There are max 5 people that I still consider myself close to from high school. </p>

<p>It's not that I find my college friends a whole hell of a lot more interesting either. I'm sure that because housing arrangemenets have changed and because of study abroad, there are people I just won't hang out with at all this next year that I hung out with all the time last year. </p>

<p>I feel that most people just have a handful of really good friends. The rest are just people you hang out with because you get along at a shallow level and because they are available to hang out with.</p>

<p>My two closest friends from high school are still my best friends today. I'd say for me the biggest difference is that the kids who I hung out with in high school but wasn't necessarily great friends with, I don't really see anymore.</p>