First summer back from college

<p>Anybody else just aching to go back? Aside from a couple of good friends, I feel like I can't relate to anybody here anymore. I went to a pretty good high school, but most of the kids there went to local universities, and I was one of the few to go far away and live in a dorm. I feel like I'm in a different world now from my high school friends, having gone through the whole college thing. I'm used to being able to call anybody up and finding things to do on the spot; now, we have to make plans in advance, find rides, etc. I feel extremely jealous of people who went to schools where it was normal for everybody to go off to great universities because when they get home, they all have common experiences they can talk about. </p>

<p>When I was at college, I never felt homesick, and now I'm reminded why. Just one year at college has made me feel more at home than the place I lived in for 19 years. I don't know if that's sad or typical, but I hope many more are feeling the same as I am. I had a good run through high school, and I was a popular guy who played sports and everything, but it seems that just after a year removed from graduation, nobody really cares that much about getting together. There's a few people I am in regular contact with, but I wouldn't really care if I never saw any of my "friends" again. It just makes me sad how shallow some of our friendships throughout high school were.</p>

<p>Oh well, still some summer left to salvage, so better make the most of it. But I won't ever look forward to coming "home" again (not that I will in the future, with internships and all looming on the horizon).</p>

<p>hmmm, i sorta feel the same way, nbachris.</p>

<p>i'm so different now, that i could care less if i saw many of the people i was friends with in high school. i have a few good friends, though, that i love to still hang out with.</p>

<p>and, the midwest sucks compared to the east coast. but it's still home. i love coming back and seeing how nothing has changed. i love being around my parents and sisters and entire extended family.</p>

<p>i'm actually doing an internship at home right now, and i hope to do more here, cuz i do get homesick.</p>

<p>So I guess most of your friends commuted to college? 'Cause I find it kinda weird that you can't relate to them just because they went to the local university.</p>

<p>I can't really relate, as I'm staying near my university for the summer, but it is weird now going back home for visits... I can't put my finger on it except that people must change more than they realize after they leave for school.</p>

<p>I can't really relate to my friends here. As a matter of fact, most of my high school friends kind of went off and did their own thing. I knew the whole "friendship lasts forever" thing would fade. I'm really excited about going back to school in the Fall, mostly because I ALWAYS had something to get into. Here, it pretty much sucks and I feel very out of place.</p>

<p>umcp11, </p>

<p>i'm not sure how nbachris feels. but all my friends stayed within 2 hours of home, and i went across the country. most of them went to the same school and experienced college similar to high school part two. while i left the midwest and experienced so many new things on the east coast. the people were different and the mentality was too. then, when i came home for the summer, everyone was exactly the same (as they were in high school) and i had changed and grown. i was just at a different maturity level than they were, and there is nothing wrong with that. it just made it super hard to relate.</p>

<p>Huh...I've definitely never heard that going to a local university impedes maturation. I guess it depends on what you make of it, though. If you go home every weekend and hang out with the same people, then yeah, I could see how you might not "grow and change" as much as someone who didn't have that option.</p>

<p>i never said that going to a local college made them less mature. the fact that they do the same things they did in high school with the same people impedes maturity. when i hung out with them, three talked about all the sex they had with all the different guys (just like in high school) and two were plotting ways to get alcohol so that they could get drunk (just like in high school). meanwhile, i found that i really had nothing constructive to say to them. we reminisced about high school for a bit, and then heard about everyone's college experience. their experiences consisted of sex and alcohol (well, at least that's all they talked about) and when i told them about my experience with meeting all kinds of different people and going to all kinds of cool events, they were sorta disinterested. the only thing they wanted to hear about was who i hooked up with and what the party scene was like. but, i feel like my freshman year had more substance than that, but apparently theirs did not.</p>

<p>so, like i said, i feel like i don't really have much in common with them anymore.</p>

<p>


they didn't have to go home every weekend to hang out with the same people. 75% of my high school graduating class goes to the same college. they had all of their high school friends right there at college (not that there is anything wrong with that) and they made no attempt to reach out and make different friends, while i was forced to intereact with different people and experience new things (the midwest is very homogenous while the east coast is not). therefore, i was forced to mature and they were not</p>

<p>I think we're pretty much on the same page. I didn't mean they would hang out with the same people as a result of going home. I meant that 1.) going home a lot and 2.) hanging out with the same people were two discrete things that would be easy to fall back on at a local university. </p>

<p>(But also pretty easy to avoid, as well...So I am surprised more people don't...)</p>

<p>dood i miss berkeley EVERYDAY, my friends, the walking, the counter-culture, the good weed and fun kick-backs, the intellectualism.
it's sad, this summer's gonna probably be my last for a while of coming home for the whole summer, i'm staying in the bay area for sure next summer. i'm having such a bad boring summer, i can't wait till it's over.</p>

<p>Of course I am. The wait has been excruciating. I don't know how much more I can take. I NEED TO BE BACK ON CAMPUS NOW, DAMNIT.</p>

<p>
[quote]
i'm not sure how nbachris feels. but all my friends stayed within 2 hours of home, and i went across the country. most of them went to the same school and experienced college similar to high school part two.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>That's exactly how I feel. </p>

<p>You know how elementary schools pool into bigger high schools? Well, for people who go to big local schools, it's just like that, except elementary schools become high schools and high schools become universities. All the cliques remain intact, as the "cool" kids join frats and party a lot, while the "uncool" kids are too timid to try pledging or make new friends. So they get stuck in a rut with all their high school friends and hardly try new things.</p>

<p>I think by the end of high school, a lot of people have internally changed from their younger selves, but unless they get thrust into a new environment, they feel afraid to externally change because everybody else has certain expectations of them. While I have not done a complete 180-degree character turn at college, I have been freed from the burden of fulfilling expectations (not always positive expectations, mind you) of the people I have known for many years. </p>

<p>I just think that people who choose to live away from home all have a common trait of always wanting to experience new things, and have a hatred of complacency. At college, for the first time, I was surrounded by people like that. And man, do I miss it. I fear that, despite the absolute blast I had freshman year, I still was guilty of taking all that freedom for granted. I'm going to try and cherish it more when I get back.</p>

<p>I feel like you could be me :P</p>

<p>My friends all went to the same handful of schools. Those who went to GA Tech or couldn't get into UGA still go to UGA every weekend to party. I don't come home except for winter break during the year because I hate flying and can't deal with flying home for EVERY holiday. Over winter break, I was hanging out with all of my friends when I realized I didn't know them anymore. Even worse- I HATED to be around them. All they talked about was how drunk they got and how proud they were of the amount of shots they could down. They started hanging out with the kids in high school that we all hated, just because that's who they were around. Only two people in my high school went to Boston area schools- myself being one of them- so people just don't get it. The other guy goes to school in the same town as me so we see each other once in a while and we have grown closer than we ever were in high school just because we're familiar faces.</p>

<p>I only went home for 2 weeks for the summer because I can't stand it. My friends only wanted to party and since I don't drink and based on past traumatic experiences around drunk people I can't be around them without getting panic attacks, they choose to party the whole time I was there rather than take a few hours to see me. I probably won't ever go home for more than a week ever again. I'm already looking into sleep studies for next winter.</p>

<p>I feel the same way! I miss college like crazy, and I miss my friends. This is why I'm moving back early. Yeah, I go to my state school but I actually live on campus and love it! I didn't really hav a lot of friends in high school and most of them were flakey.So I could care less about my "so called friends" in high schools hehe because I couldn't click with them! My greatest friends are in college, and since they live in the same town in me I was lucky to still kick it with them over the summer. The people that go to my school hate it, and kind of do their own thing or hang out with their old high school friends LOL.</p>

<p>haha such a great post nbachris. It's amazing how basically everyone from my school went to the local school (A&M) and the same cliques live strong.</p>

<p>I feel the exact same way. Most people from my school went to one of two state public schools. I decided to go far enough that i generally fly to and from school (6-7 hr drive). I don't talk to anyone from high school other than two close friends. I honestly just feel like i've outgrown my high school scene, whereas most did what they could to hang onto it.</p>

<p>I feel the same way except for all the school work. I dun wanna go back to that so soon.</p>

<p>My friends all moved away or I dun know where they are anymore.
My parents forces me to go to crap I dun wanna go near with a 10 foot pole. I think they are sending me to 2 church camps. Without my permission. Without even asking me. They are like "Oh btw you are going to this one church camp" i'm like.. WHAT? But again, I guess its better than them sending me to Cambodia and Vietnam without my permission. Oh wait that already happened. btw I hate camps with all the burning passion in the world (i don't like sleeping in foreign beds or crappy bathrooms)</p>

<p>They actually forced my brother to go on a church camp several times as well and once he got lost in the Rocky Mountains for a day. Yeah and they still send him. LOL</p>

<p>Damn I'm 19 why won't they leave me alone! I'm in Korea which unfortunately means you are controlled by yer parents until you are married and outta the house. ***.</p>

<p>just reading these posts makes me wonder how my first summer "back" will be. i put back in quotes b/c my school is only 45 mins away (Northwestern) but everytime I step on the campus I feel like I'm in a totally different place. most of my friends will go to U of I and wonder how different it will be. idk, i know I am not going far from my home, but NU really feels like a different world, from the people to the atmosphere...pretty much everything. wondering about staying so close yet going to a "national" university. any experiences with this?</p>

<p>It won't feel too different if you go home a lot. I stayed in-state, but I wanted going home to be somethine to look forward to, I wanted it to be a nice reprieve from campus life. So, I only went home one weekend in October (we didn't get a fall break, so I had my own), Thanksgiving, Winter break, Spring break, and I moved home for the summer in late May. My school is only 3 1/2 hours from home, but it might as well have been farther because I never went home outside of a school break. I actually feel a little bad for those who gome home pretty regularly because they miss weekend campus stuff and going home isn't exciting when you do it once a month or more. </p>

<p>If you get a fall break in early October, don't go home before then.</p>

<p>uyulove..., don't go back to that next summer. that's abuse. that sux.</p>