<p>I have always dreamed of taking my first child to college. DS will be attending a university 1,600 miles away and DH doesn't think I should make the trip with him. He doesn't think DS really needs his "mom" there either. If I ask DS, he may just tell me what I want to hear for fear of hurting my feelings. Would it be horrible to send DS 1,600 miles away alone with two luggages to fend for himself or will I just be in the way anyway? I also wonder and worry that he will be the only one with no parents to help him get settled. Any advice?</p>
<p>I went with both of my kids on move in day first year for both undergrad and grad school. I would go. BUT I would NOT linger. Help unpack. Go on a run to BB and B and Target. Take the kid out to dinner…and then do leave. </p>
<p>When I went with DD (alone) to a far away place, I fortunately had a friend who lived nearby. After dropping DD off, I went to the friend’s house.</p>
<p>If it were me (and this is what we did)…just make the plans to go. I would not give the kiddo a choice. This is one of those things we felt one parent (at least) should do. And we really wanted to go!!</p>
<p>If you don’t go, he may be one of the few kids moving in with no parent. If you do go, he may act like it’s a bother having you there. Nevertheless, it has been a priceless memory for me to move each of our college students into their dorms. I would go if YOU want to go.</p>
<p>The school that our daughter is going to has a whole weekend of activities planned for both the students AND families…any student that doesn’t attend the summer orientation attends this weekend event. She checks into her dorm room on Friday morning and will begin ‘living’ there, but my husband and I will be at a hotel until Sunday. Daughter will be tied up in her orientation sessions Friday and Saturday, and we’ll attend the parent-only sessions, but Saturday evening there is a family picnic that we’ll all attend. </p>
<p>I know our daughter would be upset if we didn’t attend…she wants us to be involved in the parent side of the school.</p>
<p>We plan to say our goodbyes Sunday morning.</p>
<p>Go! And let him do it himself next year!</p>
<p>If it were within reach financially and logistically, I would go. I don’t think this is entirely a matter of whether he needs it or not. He would probably manage on his own, but you can be helpful with matters large and small and you may feel much better having seen his new “home.”</p>
<p>Go! Be prepared to be ignored or to get scowled at because you are talking too much or asking questions. Be prepared to not get the goodbye hug/kiss that you need, but know that DS will be secretly glad you are there and leave him a tiny surprise hidden somewhere in his stuff that only he will see.</p>
<p>I think it’s an experience that you will be happy to have had. I strongly encourage you to go! And have a memorable time together. :)</p>
<p>DH lived alone here since high school, with parents overseas and moved himself into college and always flew solo. I think he is worried DS may actually be embarrassed by me going with him, you know because he’s a man now. DD starts back to school the day I would need to leave if going with him also. I did not attend the past two trips he took and he was fine both times. I just don’t want it to be one of those things in his memory that I DIDN’T do for him. I would think that may be the only one and it would be a doozy if that’s how he viewed it in time.</p>
<p>Since the majority of the kids will have parents with them, I can’t imagine your son would be embarrassed to have you there. </p>
<p>I would go. He only goes off to college for the first time once.</p>
<p>Definitely yes. You deserve to share in the joy. Listen to thumper1 and don’t linger.</p>
<p>I agree that it is very important for YOU as well. You need to be able to see the room that he is living in, and the places where he will be eating, and where everything is on campus, so that when he calls you, you will be able to picture in your mind where he is - where he’s eating, where he’s hanging out, where he’s playing soccer, where he’s lifting weights, where he is doing laundry… You love him - you should go. :)</p>
<p>When both of my kids were freshmen, I missed my first TWO days of work (I’m a teacher). I wanted to be with them when they moved into their new college homes…so I went. </p>
<p>Go!! These things only happen once.</p>
<p>Yes, go. There will be several times when having 2 people will be an advantage to your son. My kids went to a wide variety of schools (instate public, large “top 10” private, small LAC) I’m sure there were kids moving in without a parent there, but I didn’t meet any.</p>
<p>I agree that you should go. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. It seemed like all the kids had their parents there. One family we met even accompanied their son from Japan to be there. It is really one of those important milestones in the parent/child relationship…letting your son go off on his own for the first time. We look back and cherish those pictures from our son’s first dorm room.</p>
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<p>That’s our mantra also. I appreciated knowing what our D’s room looked like, what her roommate looked like. I got a chance to meet roommate’s parents. I got a chance to see what the campus looks like. Gave me a frame of reference when D would tell stories of what was going on in her life.</p>
<p>But don’t linger…no long goodbyes…</p>
<p>go. i agree with the others. drop him off and let him get things organized (stay out of his way for that) then meet later to review what he needs, make a trip to a walmart, kmart or bed bath and beyond to fill in the gaps…feed him and get out of the way! maybe a quick breakfast or lunch before saying goodbyes, but go! </p>
<p>i don’t recommend hanging out in the dorms, or hanging around waiting to spend time with them, but go! 1600 is a long ways away and even if you get a few annoyed looks from your son, he’ll be glad that you’re there to make sure things are all ok and he has what he needs…</p>
<p>I took them to their first day of school and I took them to their first day of college. (I let them do their first day of high school on their own)</p>
<p>If this is for freshmen check-in, those are normally pretty hectic and it really helps to have an extra person. Even if he can manage the luggage himself, it’s still a matter of finding out where exactly to go. You can stay with the luggage or stand in line while he finds out what’s going on without having to drag his luggage all over the place. Hardly anyone goes alone. Very often the parents help get the bed set up, etc. It’s not that he can’t; it’s just that his time is better spent getting to know people. For upperclassmen, fall check-in is normally over several days or a week, they already know people, etc., so he can go it alone then.</p>
<p>Thirty years later it still bothered me that my mother left me at a
motel and I had to move in by myself next day. I probably over do it because of it. We just flee over 7000 miles to take D1 to Sydney. On the way back we drpped D2 off in Ca. I am sitting at LAX with H feeling pretty sorry for myself. </p>
<p>Go. Don’t miss it. He won’t look back 30 years from now wishing you didn’t go.</p>