I would frame it like this. We tried the get the best value for our money. This will be the second largest purchase we make behind our house so we did our homework and clawed for all the merit we could get. Sure there was pressure involved, but in reality there probably should be.
With my first the search was a stressful time as he was not a high stat kid and we knew there would be more rejections than acceptances. It all worked out, he got into his #1 choice and things were settled. As we get ready for our youngest it should be a high stress search but it will not be. He is just finishing up his freshman year in high school and has known for 2 years where he wants to go, my wife and I’s alma mater.
It is a midwest flagship and he will get in with no problem. His PSAT just came back and he was in the 99th% which from what we can tell equates to about a 1500. With a couple of years and prep I am sure he can pump that higher but he will not need to. He is not interested in the fight for the Ivy or top tier, he wants to go where he likes and get a solid undergrad education and I am perfectly fine with that, takes a lot of pressure off for the next few years.
Time has a way of changing things for teens so I am not out of the woods yet but as of now I am relishing a stress free search.
My D18 knew that she had to go somewhere that was financially feasible for us as we were full pay. We waited until all scholarship offers came in and she went with the best deal, which was not her first choice but she was practical and didn’t want to take out any student loans. When money is an issue it’s sometimes a lot easier to make a decision.
I would say I’m a relaxed parent, but my kids would laugh in my face. As with many topics it would depend on how you define “relaxed”.
As an ex-high school teacher I have always taken a strong interest in education. I value knowledge and appreciate different skill sets. I often talk and think about education, because I just find it interesting. My children know I like to discuss the topic of education and how it relates to the decisions we make and its impact in our lives.
So my kids grew up listening to me discuss the college decisions of family members and some friends, long before they were thinking about college for themselves. It was a blessing having older, high achieving cousins who lived fairly close to us.
If memory serves me correctly both of my kids applied to only 3 schools. As full pay, business degree-seeking students they had very grounded expectations…which isn’t to say they weren’t/aren’t ambitious.
Money wasn’t an issue, but it was an issue. We could afford full pay…with no loans and without a hit on our lifestyle. But we feel we’re where we are in life due to the values with which we were raised. It was a conscious choice and we’re happy with the outcome…our kids are too.
Based on this one and your other post, you seem much more concerned about all this than your kid does, @Sarrip . Let your D be in charge. Seems to me that she is doing things at her own pace and following her own lead. Relax?
We looked for merit and never applied to top privates. My youngest in fact did not apply to one private.
@Lindagaf - you are correct in the fact that DD20 has her part under control. She is pretty self motivated and disciplined. She has her list, ranked and knows what she wants and doesn’t want. I am in agreement with her for the most part. The only thing that may concern me just a tad bit is is what our EFC will be given that she is the only child remaining at home. Regardless of the ranking of her list the $ may dictate the outcome and it is a discussion that we have had many times. According to her list we can’t have a bad outcome so no, I’m really not that concerned.