<p>My D will be a college junior next year. She is being very snitty about discussing choices lately, both her classes for next year and what she is going to do this summer. I don't want to make any decisions FOR her, just like to know what she is thinking of doing and talk it over with her a little.</p>
<p>She has a history of taking on tremendous loads and then doing extremely well with it, but stressing herself out seriously. She gets great grades and is a good student with no major problems or issues. </p>
<p>I did recently point out that taking two lab sciences and two math classes all in one semester might not be a good idea. She did exchange one math class for something easier. She says I second guess her when she makes choices...and I do because she tries to do everything all at once.</p>
<p>Do other parents discuss what classes their college students are signing up for?</p>
<p>I inquire although at times my son lets me know to back off. Why not? Another view is helpful and how much perspective does the average kid have? Also some schools advise well and others do not.
In addition we have encouraged him, without much success, to run after more advisors at school rather than depending on the assigned prof - although he is good.</p>
<p>We do not advise at all. With my daughters majors though, el ed and sociology, there really isn't too much of a choice. She has to take one class as a prerequiste to another and that's that! The only thing she's kind of sounded out to me about is taking summer classes next year at a college near home so she can fit in a study abroad. Shoot, we didn't really advise much in HS.</p>
<p>I don't advise at all- by junior year students are well aware of what is required for their major and how many classes they can handle.
It isn't uncommon to have two labs for a science major
My daughters potential roommate for next year has an interdisciplinary major biology and chem- so he has to do two qualifying exams although he does not have to write two theses.</p>
<p>But wait--emeraldkity! Didn't your own D overload junior year and have trouble with 0-chem and then have to take a year off! This is just the sort of thing that worries me! I know that science majors have to have two labs to get everything in. But you don't then take two math classes on top of that if you can avoid it. </p>
<p>My D is a double major in science and performing arts and may have a lead role in a play as well. You can't know whether you will be cast before you sign up for classes in the spring for fall term. I suppose she could drop a class if that happens...</p>
<p>I don't necessarily agree that sudents are well aware of how many classes they can handle by jr. year. I think jr. and senior year in college get much harder, and it can be a bit of a shock. I know she will probably handle it; I just anticipate the phone calls of panic.</p>
<p>Rather than insisting on being part of the process, maybe you could gently let her know you refuse to be a party to the stressing later on. It really should be her choices at this point.</p>
<p>In my own case, my D asked for a lot of input the first couple years (transfered, so there were a lot of complications) but after that, I only heard the problems when she couldn't get into needed classes, which required my sympathy but not advice. She grew to handle her own decisions, and this is a good thing.</p>
<p>My S, Mr. Laid-back, tends to think clsses will just register themselves. Wouldn't mind inputting there a little, but he does seem to in the end, with a few questions to me, figure it out. </p>
<p>(As a professional college advisor, I do itch to get involved, but I also know I can easily over-involve.)</p>
<p>Bookiemom,
Interesting that your daughter will be double majoring in performing arts because my daughter seriously considered doing that with elementary ed but didn't because of the time committment required for a performing arts major. Instead she does a comedy improv group and one-acts in the Spring, as her performing outlet. She made a hard decision and decided that she needed to focus on what she really wanted to do after graduation.</p>
<p>yes she did have trouble with ochem- but she has a learning disability which makes academics much more time consuming than for your average student- although she had a support coach she met with weekly, he left during the school year,leaving her without his guidance which she had counted on since freshman year. Compound this with being quite ill and her 20 year cat dying suddenly and she let herself get overwhelmed without realizing it.
She did have three science classes and a social science class, but it wasn't the classload that was the problem.
I don't think 4 classes is too much- however performing arts will require a great deal of out of class time and labs also consume lab time but I think all you can do is suggest she think it over- it is up to her to decide what she can do.
I would not have changed my daughters schedule- even knowing what I do now- that she would have to take a year off. For me to direct her choices, I feel would be inappropriate in that circumstance, and would have limited her opportunity to learn about herself.</p>
<p>I can still see my college roommate's face (lo these many years later) as she hung up the phone from her parents' "advisory" call about what classes she should/shouldn't take. The stress, discouragement, frustration were written in every aspect of her expression, as she suffered the second-guessing of her own choices. This was a competent, to say the least, student - graduated 4th in our class at Wellesley. Her parents' interference cost her dearly in being able to enjoy the process. I remember being so grateful that my parents (who had not gone to college) had complete faith in whatever I would choose, and would never dream of trying to have input in the process.</p>
<p>I am not diss-ing the parents here who have, with varying degrees of success, offered thoughts on course selection to their kids. I even expect that my S may ask for same when he takes off as a Freshmen next year.</p>
<p>I simply offer the above as what it can be like from the student's perspective.</p>
<p>If there are any golfers here, I think the following from Harvey Penick's For Those Who Love the Game, a book of teachings on golf for women, might translate well here(chapter title and chapter reprinted in its entirety):
[quote] When Should you give your husband advice on his golf game: * If he asks.*
[/quote]
This is the mantra I intend to follow with my S (kick me if my posts show otherwise next year).</p>
<p>My S brings it up but he is a freshman. He listens to my input, sometimes takes it but usually knows more then I do anyways and finds out who the great professors are from the upperclassmen. He has made good choices so far so I feel pretty comfortable.</p>
<p>"He has made good choices so far so I feel pretty comfortable."
well thats the kicker arizona mom
My oldest has almost always been pretty easy to raise- even when she was little if I would see her doing something dangerous/destructive/annoying, I would just ask to please stop because it is....dangerous/destructive/annoying
and she would-
Her sister on the other hand upon being told the same thing, would promptly continue but only ,louder/higher/faster.:eek:</p>