<p>moonchild – I couldn’t agree with you more, especially with Post #102.</p>
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<p>Sam Walton drove the same old car for years and lived in a modest house. His children had no idea how wealthy they were until they were older. They learned how to live modestly and how to do for themselves. Their parents made them work hard, and they didn’t have concierges to cover for them.</p>
<p>Bill Gates’ children are required to do household chores.</p>
<p>Here is an excerpt from an article about how Warren Buffet raised his (undoubtedly concierge-less) children:</p>
<p>So, no, this isn’t about anyone resenting wealthy people. Some of the wealthiest people teach their children the same values that helped them get rich in the first place.</p>
<p>Rumor has it at my son’s college that there is a real live (international student) princess living in the on-campus hotel … with room service and maid service etc. not to mention her security force.</p>
<p>S1 and four of his housemates would have been very, very happy if their complete slob of a wealthy international housemate had hired a maid, a housekeeper, a concierge service… Anyone… To clean up after him! He had never had to pick up so much as a plate at home and didn’t even see the messes he created.</p>
<p>Laundry has nothing to do with this…people are getting hung up on the example and missing the point.</p>
<p>I still maintain that college is a time when kids safely learn (if they haven’t learned before) to take care of themselves, not depend on someone to clean up every mess, deal with every unpleasantness, erase the consequences of bad decisions, or shelter them from the facts of life.</p>
I don’t entirely disagree with this, but I think that the level of self-care will differ, depending on your personal context. If somebody is really rich, he’s never going to do certain things for himself. I’m not super-rich, but I’m rich enough that I don’t need to change the oil in my car, and I didn’t teach my kids how to do this.</p>
<p>As for the speeding ticket, this kid did essentially what an adult would have done–call somebody to take care of it. An adult (at least one with money) would have called his own lawyer, who would have arranged for the local lawyer to pay the fine. (Was this something that couldn’t be paid by mail, perhaps?) And come on–how many kids would have dealt with the speeding ticket on their own? The difference is that most would call their parents for help, rather than the concierge.</p>
<p>Perhaps these kids have been taught how to supervise their brokers instead of how to do their laundry.</p>
<p>There are some people whose facts of life is not to have to deal with a lot of those things. May not be the case for most of us, but there are people who live like that. This concierge service is not for everyone (I don’t see every college student running out to sign up for it), but there are people who can afford it and are need of such service. </p>
<p>I will not deal with maintaining a car or do any handy work around the house. I would rather make more money so I could afford to have those unpleasantness/tedious work taken care of for me. When I figure out costs of having a car, I take regular maintenance into consideration and I also will not drive a car more than few years old because I don’t want the hassle having it break down. I also hate it when any construction in my house is unfinished. If I am putting in a new basement, I want it completely done within weeks, not have to wait for H to do it during his spare time. If I couldn’t afford it then I would rather not start.</p>
<p>If my kids had called me I would have told them to read the back of the ticket and figure out what they needed to do. It’s basically a matter of writing a check and sticking it in the mail, or looking at the court date written on the ticket if you want to contest it and showing up then. That’s not to say I wouldn’t provide a listening ear, but I certainly would not “make it go away” for them. Consequences are important.</p>
<p>When D1 got a traffic ticket which she had to show up at the court for, I refused to help or pay for it. She didn’t try to take care of it on her own, she called a lawyer. I ended up going to the court with her because I felt bad (she was only 17 at the time). I was surprised when the lawyer showed up. He was a partner at a law firm with very expensive suit on. He got D1 in and out very fast, no points and a reasonable fine. He was D1 friends father, but I was surprised he would show up and not send an associate. It was free to D1, but we had to send over few bottles of wine.</p>
<p>I think the difference in these examples is that you are earning your money and choosing how to spend it. </p>
<p>The concierge kids aren’t earning the money. It’s appearing magically. Whether you work hard and then pay someone to do an unpleasant task or work hard doing the unpleasant task–> you are still working. Therefore you understand the value.</p>
<p>Obviously I not making my own cell phone. But I understand that if I break it I have to pay for it out of my own hard-earned funds. If I get a ticket, not only is it a HUGE drag but it costs me a lot of money and I have to give up something pleasant (my time and perhaps something I wanted to buy) in order to settle the ticket.</p>
<p>These kids do nothing. They didn’t earn the money, they didn’t do the work, they didn’t stand in the line, etc. </p>
<p>My own values tells me this is not a great way to raise kids and apparently Warren Buffet and Bill Gates agree :)</p>
<p>As long as I have a dollar in my pocket, I’m never scrubbing a toilet or bathtub again. Not because it’s “beneath me,” but because it hurts my back to bend over like that and that was my job growing up in a house with 5 kids. Ick. Paid my dues on that one.</p>
<p>Some of these rich kids may already have money of their own. And it’s possible their parents didn’t earn it, either.</p>
<p>I definitely agree that kids who have no responsibilities and no consequences for mistakes can grow up to be worthless individuals. I just don’t think it matters that much what the particular responsibilities are. Thus, for example, if a kid is working very hard to get the grades to get into med school, I don’t necessarily think it weakens his character to send out his laundry.</p>
<p>I distinctly remember seeing on tours of some of the women’s colleges how some of the rooms were designed assuming that the girl brought along a maid - with a small room under the eaves, etc. I am pretty sure Witherspoon Hall at Princeton was originally designed for students to bring servants. Who stoked those fires on cold mornings? </p>
<p>To me there is a difference between hiring out a job, and believing oneself “too good for” or “above” doing a job (or that others who can’t afford to hire it out are to be pitied). Simply knowing that the job is hired out doesn’t tell me anything about the attitude. </p>
<p>And I’m totally serious - why are restaurants different? Why would it be “lazy” to hire out laundry or vacuuming but ok to pay a barista to make your coffee for you?</p>
<p>My school had a cleaning service as part of room and board. I have to say that I was a bit surprised when D1 was touring schools that I found out students had to clean their own rooms. I actually think it would be healthier/cleaner if the school would do the cleaning because those rooms are so small and close to each other, it doesn’t do much to just keeping one’s room clean.</p>
My kids have all lived in suites where the suitemates were responsible for cleaning the bathrooms. It would have been nice to see the pros brought in, either by the schools or the kids themselves, through a cleaning service. Of course what happened is that the kids who like clean bathrooms did an unfair share of the cleaning (i.e., all of it). Yes, a learning experience, though my kids (who already knew how to clean a bathroom) primarily learned that they want to live without suitemates.</p>
<p>I have a work friend who grew up as an expat in a Latin American country. His family had drivers and several maids. He would get up in the morning, go to take a shower, come back and his bed would be made, clothes picked out for him and ready to go, and a breakfast tray of coffee and juice and so forth laid out for him. He has a tremendous work ethic and is a great person. Again, it’s attitude, not the actual money or chore.</p>
<p>Really? I’d be very surprised if any of my son’s or daughter’s college age friends (18-22!) would call their parents or expect to get a lawyer to handle a speeding ticket. And many have money, but they’re reasonably responsible and competent. And if they had to appear, they would. Dealing with a ticket is a hassle, especially if you want to wipe it from your record with a class or test, but it’s nothing they can’t handle. </p>
<p>I’ll bet if you asked the college kids on this board if they would call mom and dad to handle their speeding tickets, they’d laugh. They’d probably fix them asap, and hope their parents wouldn’t find out. But they would take responsibility.</p>