<p>Because I'm a little bored with all the waiting, I'd love to hear comments on my Why Stanford piece. </p>
<p>
[quote]
Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.</p>
<p>This story began more than a decade ago, when I was a na</p>
<p>first off: good luck and i hope you get in. as you say, there are lots of good institutions where you will be successful if you are not admitted to Stanford.</p>
<p>what I didn’t get from your statement was insight on who you are and what makes you tick. And how your passions relate to “why stanford”</p>
<p>I think admissions wants to learn about you through all of the short answers and essay. It should be about you, not them!</p>
<p>I thought the essay was articulated very well. It had flow. I think pacheight was right when he said you didn’t convey how you personally tick and relate to Stanford, but, quite honestly, if one or more of your other essays deal with innovation, your essays will express your love of innovation and tinkering. Other applicants often make the mistake of thinking their essay needs to BLATANTLY state your point. However, a lot of very good essays don’t. I’m not saying completely hide your point in some obscure metaphor, but the way you wrote your essay is very acceptable IMO.</p>
<p>If I replaced every Stanford in your essay with “Harvard” or “Princeton,” it would still be the same essay. Your essay doesn’t identify what’s unique about Stanford or unique about you.</p>
<p>Many people remember the perceptions they had of certain things when they were younger, especially when these impressions change as they grow older. It is easy to recollect your original beliefs when they were about something important to you - which Stanford obviously was to the OP considering his dad has been drilling it into him for so long.</p>
<p>That being said, I completely agree with An0maly. The essay is much too vague, you should consider adding more examples specific to Stanford and reducing the number of general statements that could be applied to any top university.</p>
<p>^^too late to add</p>
<p>I find it difficult to side with you Handala, especially when it was you who made the first inflammatory remarks on this thread. Suffice to say, you did make a generalization that does not necessarily apply to the OP. Your emotionally charged response to Hippo’s rather innocuous comments is frankly, a little over the top. And, of course, shutting out entire arguments based on a couple remarks probably isn’t the wisest course of action.</p>
<p>@Handala92 et al. - I’m glad that you guys were frank with your comments but I must clarify that I do remember this aspect of my childhood. The company my father worked for his entire life was born at Stanford and even if you refuse to believe that I remember my father telling me about it when I was a kindergartener, a couple of years later I read The HP Way written by one of the founders (Dave Packard) and even then, Stanford was the first elite American university I knew - I’m an international - and for a long time (until I began seriously thinking about college applications) it was also representative of the class of American colleges that I knew I would one day fly across the world to attend. Seeing how defensive you may be getting over a provocation Handala, I ask that you avoid imposing your own generalizations upon me. People can and do remember many events from their kindergarten years, especially if those experiences contribute in one way or another to a novel conception of some faraway place - as it was with me being introduced to the world of American universities. </p>
<p>That said, you can probably tell by this essay that somewhere along the line, Stanford ceased being my top choice and as a consequence, the question of why Stanford would be an apt choice for me becomes that much harder to answer. I think I chose a shortcut but taking the vague conception of Stanford I had in mind and putting it on paper, but evidently, it seems not to have worked.</p>
<p>This essay isn’t specific at all. Like someone else said, you could easily replace Stanford with Harvard or Princeton and it wouldn’t change anything. If you can’t even write a short, specific essay about why you want to go here, I don’t see you getting accepted. Honestly I expect you to be rejected. No offense.</p>
<p>^None taken. I expect myself to get rejected too, and to be honest I have nothing more specific to offer about why it is that I want to attend Stanford. If I had chosen to go down my father’s path and study engineering and/or computer science then perhaps I’d be keener on Stanford but I have my eyes elsewhere at the moment.</p>
<p>People are too harsh. Personally, it is fairly vague, but it’s not like we’ve attended Stanford for years or anything. They understand that.</p>
<p>Also I don’t think it’s fabricated because I can remember back still remember preschool. </p>
<p>Overall though, disregarding ambiguity, it was well worded and eloquent. Even if “passion” for Stanford isn’t direct or concentrated, “passion” for future and knowledge is more than present. To me that’s much more of a necessity than passion for a specific school. </p>
<p>However, in the end, no one on this forum is an admissions officer, so it really doesn’t matter what any of us think.</p>
<p>Here it is!</p>
<p>“Stanford is impossible to get into…” Typical words spoken by even the most successful high school students, and the thought that discourages many kids from chasing their dream of attending the prestigious university. But not for me; I never believed in the idea that acceptance into Stanford is unachievable, partly because my own father received that ticket offering him a new identify as a Cardinal. I learned from my father that Stanford wants students with a passion and his was track and cross country. They also want students who wish to challenge themselves intellectually. My passion is singing, which I can pursue at Stanford, and I always search for academic challenges. That’s why Stanford is right for me.</p>
<p>A Cappella group (noun)-1. An exuberant group of singers who use their voices as instruments. 2. An important reason why Stanford is a perfect fit for me. Singing is my passion, and I’d be honored to become a member of Mixed Company or the Harmonics, two groups that I watch with admiration on YouTube and dream of joining. I envision myself performing in the quad or at Frost Amphitheater, vocalizing in harmony with a group of fellow classmates who share my passion. A cappella at Stanford would provide an ideal way to lose myself in something besides my studies.</p>
<p>As a psychology major specializing in Health and Development, I would not only challenge myself to broaden my insight of the human mind, but I would also prepare myself for my desired career in occupational therapy. Stanford’s rigorous psychology program and my motivation to challenge myself combine to make the institution an ideal fit for me, and me a perfect candidate for Stanford.</p>
<p>Becoming a Stanford Cardinal would allow me, as it did my father, to undertake new challenges while continuing to pursue my passion.</p>
<p>^^i think the leveraging “my father” piece comes through too heavy handed. it feels like you’re relying on him instead of your accomplishments.</p>
<p>bottom line: if you write an essay that you think Stanford wants to hear you probably will not be admitted, but if you write an honest essay about yourself and what YOU want to do next, you might have a @stanford.edu email</p>
<p>Are you referring to the original poster’s essay or the one I sent in? If mine–I don’t agree. He was only mentioned once at the beginning and once at the end. Otherwise it was all about MY desire to sing A Cappella and to excel in academics. If you’re talking about the OP’s, then just ignore this. ;)</p>
<p>pacheight answered…</p>
<p>Junior Member</p>
<p>Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 274 ^^i think the leveraging “my father” piece comes through too heavy handed. it feels like you’re relying on him instead of your accomplishments.</p>
<p>bottom line: if you write an essay that you think Stanford wants to hear you probably will not be admitted, but if you write an honest essay about yourself and what YOU want to do next, you might have a @stanford.edu email</p>