Commisserate here: Rejections...HS Class of 2008

<p>This is a very stressful time of the year for families of seniors waiting to hear from schools. My wish for you is that your student ends up at a place where he / she can be happy. That's all that matters! One place is all you need.</p>

<p>To add to the above, even though it definitely hurts terribly to get the reject (sometimes harder on parents than on the teenager), it is very much preparing them for life in the real world - full of rejection in this business. I personally would not choose such a life for myself! The kids really want it, though!</p>

<p>I posted this last year, but some of you newcomers may need some glimmer of hope. The first year my daughter auditioned for SO MANY SCHOOLS I can't even list them. She knew this is all she wanted to do, but was not prepared the way some of the other kids were. She had never auditioned at anything but high school shows and she had no background in music theory or even a good chorus. She did have private voice and some dance, but no acting. Well, between not being prepared enough and getting severe anxiety over the whole situation, she did not fair well first time around. She went to a school and was truly unhappy for several reasons (one being it was way too far from a pathetic boyfriend - I don't want to talk about that). She came home, took courses at the local community college in the Spring while going into NYC for acting lessons and working with audition coaches. She went to the NY Unifieds and I believe she got into 3 of her 5 top choices. She's now at BoCo and just recently passed her Sophomore promotionals on the first try (only abuot 1/3 of the class passed first time round). So I'm writing to offer hope to everyone out there. If you want it badly enough, you can find a way. Even if you have to do it over or find a different way about it. Good luck to everyone. Believe me, I feel your nerves and pain.</p>

<p>First, I want to thank Lynn for sharing with our newer members about her D's story. She did start over the second year and was more prepared and more successful and so that can definitely happen if someone keeps working toward the goal. There are few students who are closed out of attending ANY school. It can happen if a list is not realistic. There should be a school or two on a list where a student is very likely to get in. Anyway, there are second chances to train and try again. CMUJohanna's mom shared here in the past how her D wasn't successful the first year and also attended a not very selective program but then tried again the second year (kinda like Lynn's D) and ended up at CMU where she didn't get in the first year. This can happen. For others, they can reassess and perhaps do a BA path. They could train and not attend a college. A BFA is not the only way to pursue MT. This step you are all on is just one step in your kid's journey. Everyone has set backs and regroups in life. This is not an all or nothing situation right now. I predict most kids will get in at least one school if their list was appropriate and they can only attend one school. Where you attend school is not the answer to success. An individual, no matter where they go to school, can be a success. You can attend a top school and never be a success and you can attend an unknown school and become a success. It rests with the individual, not the school. </p>

<p>MakTay....yes, I want to emphasize that people need to have a REALISTIC outlook and come to EXPECT many rejections in BFA admissions because even if you are the most talented kid on the planet, the statistical odds imply that you would be rejected at some schools. The admit rates are so low that schools cannot accept all who are qualified (despite what OCU's letter says). For instance, while this may come across as boasting but that is NOT my intent, when my oldest child applied to the most selective colleges in the country, we KNEW she was very very qualified for these colleges, but at the same time, we knew that realistically, it would be very hard to get in but it wouldn't be because she didn't have what it takes to get in but rather that the very top schools with 10% admit rates cannot accept all who meet their standards. They turn away valedictorians (she was one) and those with perfect SAT scores, for example. My daughter ended up faring very well in her outcome. Out of 8 applications, she was accepted to six, deferred in EA and then denied at one (Yale) and waitlisted at one (Princeton). Was she devastated about Yale? NO! Did she love Yale? Yes. She wasn't devastated because we EXPECTED that a very likely outcome would be rejections given how few they take from a highly competitive number of kids who apply. Schools like this will tell you (unlike OCU's letter) that they could have filled the class a second time and had just as qualified a group. I know kids rejected at Yale who got into Harvard. My own kid got into two Ivy League schools. We don't see her rejection at Yale as "not qualified." We are POSITIVE she was qualified. Her guidance counselor was shocked she didn't get in but we were NOT shocked at all because we KNEW to come to expect some rejections with these very low admit rates. It just is part of it realistically speaking. </p>

<p>When my younger D applied to 8 BFA programs, we felt she was competitive to get into all of them but realistically we were concerned because of the very low admit rates. We felt realistically that at least one would come through. We went by benchmarks to know she was competitive for this process. It turned out that she fared well. She got into five BFAs, deferred then denied at one (but accepted academically), denied at one, and waitlisted at CMU. It turned out even better than I could have ever imagined. When she was denied at two programs, there was not devastation. We knew this was a very very very real possibility. We did not take the rejections as "not good enough." I know I'm her mom but she IS good enough and I think her acceptances bear that out. That is why I would be disturbed to get a letter from a very selective program that gave a denial letter that said the candidate was not good enough. A kid sitting with five BFA acceptances may actually be good enough but there is not room in every program for every "good enough" candidate. That's why we see kids who were admitted to UMichigan and not Penn State, CCM and not Syracuse, NYU/Tisch and not Emerson, CMU and not Otterbein (all real cases). Their rejections go with the territory. Their rejections do not equate with "not good enough." Yes, some who apply to BFA programs do not have the requistie skills. Someone who is denied at ALL schools on their list either did not have an appropriate or balanced list or perhaps was reaching beyond their current skill level. But for those who ARE accepted to at least one program, their rejections do not necessarily spell "not good enough" or should not bring devastation. My own children did not get all worked up over a rejection. They knew, by entering a highly competitive process, that rejections would realistically and inevitably be a part of it and they'd be getting some. Granted they hardly got any rejections and were very lucky but they didn't cry over a rejection. They were not angry. They EXPECTED this to happen. For my MT kid, rejections are part of her life with casting and so forth. If you are gonna get worked up over every rejection, this is not the field to be in. </p>

<p>I now have a child going through a very highly competitive process for Architecture grad school admissions and with the very low admit rates and the fact that the average age for students in some of these programs is 27 and she is currently 21, we know to expect some rejections. We go in with this expectation realistically. For instance, one school accepts 9% and I think only had five students in last year's class straight out of college. My D won't cry if not admitted. We look at the sum total and she can only attend one school. We hope for a choice. In an ideal world, she'd get into one of her favorites. My children were very fortunate to have many choices for undergraduate school and in fact, each was admitted and is attending one of her top choices (and they LOVE their schools). Right now, my D has only heard from one architecture grad school and will hear soon from the others. She is very lucky she started with an acceptance (that is not how it started for my kids for college admissions and for sure, this is nicer) and so no matter what happens now, the edge is off.....the rest is gravy. I hope she gets some options but I am expecting rejections and not because she is not good enough. I know she is good enough. I don't expect any of the denial letters to say she wasn't good enough, but simply they can accept very few (the program she is in at so far, accepts 15%). </p>

<p>BFA in MT admissions, as well as Arch grad school admissions, as well as elite/Ivy school admissions, all processes I have now personally been through, WILL involve SOME rejections even for those who are FULLY qualified. That is why a highly competitive program should not be informing those they cannot accept as "not having what it takes" to get in. Realistically speaking, there are some who will be denied at a school with a single digit admit rate who are good enough to get in. That is just the way it is. Qualified people WILL get rejections in a highly competitive process. Come to expect it and you will not be as devastated. We went into these processes expecting that. It came out better than we could have ever imagined but it was better to not have too high of an expectation and to remain realistic about the odds. That is what I advise for all of you in the big wait (which I am in too right now as a parent, let alone as an advisor to lots of kids waiting to hear). Things DO work out in some fashion. You WILL get through this. Try to keep perspective....this is just one step in your child's journey. There are such awful things in the news at present happening to very promising young adults whose lives have been cut way too short too soon. College admission pales in comparison to what those families are going through. Keep the faith. Be realistic about the odds. Realize you can only attend one school and your child will likely be happy where she lands. Things will be OK. It is hard to live with uncertainty, but there will be resolution soon and you will move on. Best of luck to all.</p>

<p>SoozieVT - Given Dr. Herendeen's answer re: the OCU rejection letter, from a couple of pages back

[quote]
Rest assured that OCU does not ever intend to hurt or speak down to the noble auditioner. I do not think we have reworded our letter, but i honestly do not know. We have not had this sort of response to our letter ever, but that is not the issue. I will work to create the best letter possible to deliver news that must be disappointing to the candidates.

[/quote]

I feel it is inappropriate to keep bringing it up at this point. If, next year, the letter remains the same -- then I think everyone should feel free to resurrect the topic, but I don't know what more OCU can do at this point.</p>

<p>MusThCC, </p>

<p>Rest assured that I believe that Dr. H has the best intentions and will likely review the letter and it certainly was not intentional and the program is great. I was making a point for all who are concerned that a rejection implies that they are not good enough, that that is not always the case in competitive programs and to not look at it in those terms. Some were saying that it was the truth that a rejection means they didn't have what it takes and I was saying to not necessarily read that into the situation (even if a letter may imply it). I am sure OCU has good intentions and I think it is great that some feedback went back to the school and I am sure Dr. H will care. My point in my last post was NOT about OCU but about how one can interpret a rejection at a selective program and how to expect that it realistically goes with the territory of selective admissions. I agree very much that there is nothing else OCU can do. My point in my last post was not about OCU itself. OCU is a fine program that I recommend ALL the time. Any program would review feedback and change things as they go if a problem is perceived. I am sure OCU's intentions are positive. My last post was about rejections and to expect them in this proces, even if a letter indicates that a rejection is due to talent.</p>

<p>Several CC friends have emailed me and asked if I would add my original post from 2 years ago. I, too, remember those depressing days of rejection and tears, but my daughter has been driven since elementary school to be an actor, and it was clear to all that she was not going to give up. Although the dates are old in the following post, the facts remain the same. </p>

<p>If ever there was a story of determination, it is that of my daughter's. I am sharing it in the hopes that some of you will be inspired to travel as many paths as you can to achieve your dream. Although my d is currently a senior MT at CMU, it was a long road. Her high school had an impressive post grad center, but the staff knew nothing about MT, the audition process, and the selectivity. She auditioned for Mich, CMU, CCM, and Ithaca and was rejected to all four. She worked through her depression, enrolled in a state college MT program, but remained determined to get accepted to a outstanding MT program. She began the application/audition process all over again- this time as a transfer student. At first my husband and I were reticent, but given her talent, drive, and passion for theater, we quickly agreed to support her efforts. She lengthened her original list of schools adding BoCo, Webster, Emerson, Miami, and FSU, but her first choice remained CMU. She auditioned at the Unifieds in Chicago for most of them and flew to Florida for the remaining two. When she learned in March that she was waitlisted for CMU she was thrilled, but not too hopeful. The acceptance letter arrived the first week in June and boy, did the tears flow! She is leaving for NYC this weekend to perform in the Senior Showcase, after having the lead her junior year (Cunegonde in Candide) and playing Hope in Urinetown this year (which was cast and directed by John Carrafa, the original choreographer from the Broadway show). Right now, life couldn't be better.
But it wasn't always like this. There were difficult days as she struggled with rejection, wondering if she was good enough, if she would ever reach her dream. Along the way she has learned valuable lessons of determination, struggle, and self esteem. My heart breaks when I read posts from students who question their talent, their worth. As so many people have said in these posts, there are numerous schools that may be right for you. My d was rejected to all her choices the first time and accepted to CMU, BoCo, Webster, Emerson, Miami (B.A.), and Mich (voice performance) the second time around. Who knows why? What a school is looking for one year may not be what they need the next year. (i.e. You can have only so many short, blondes females in a program.) So if MT is your passion, try as many avenues as you can: audition and re-audition, consider many different schools representing different levels of selectivity, choose the perfect audition outfit, take months selecting the right song and then "be that song." CoachC said it so perfectly in her "Audition Songs" posting yesterday.
In my d's bedroom at home is a framed card that says, "Never, never, never give up." She didn't. And you shouldn't either.</p>

<p>cmujohanna's mom...thanks very much for coming back to post your D's story. She was one of the kids I was thinking of in my earlier post on this thread. Her rejection was not a commentary on her talent. She obviously has talent and her second year results demonstrate that. </p>

<p>I hope she is doing well now that she is out in the real world. I always love hearing updates about past CC members as they go the next step.</p>

<p>CMUJohanna</p>

<p>thank you for posting this. Your daughter's story is so inspirational. Congratulations on raising such a talented and determined lady.</p>

<p>Thank you CMUJohanna for posting this. I sent it to my daughter to read. What a great story for your D ... and also for all of us, parents and students alike! I wish her a long, wonderful career!!!</p>

<p>Rejected from Otterbien. </p>

<p>Ok. So so far I have been rejected from the schools with my 2 worst auditions... I am trying my hardest to remain calm</p>

<p>Thanks so much for such an inspiring story. My D received a rejection letter yesterday. We have 4 more schools to hear from and remain optimistic! I have always felt there is a right "fit" for each student. What comes to mind with a rejection letter is that even though she felt it was the right school for her, the school didn't think so. There is so much to be said about the school recognizing their talent and welcoming them into the MT program.
We have to realize that the "right fit" may be a program that we didn't apply for. I'm also encouraged that those who persist and have the talent not recognized the first time around have the opportunity to transfer with success. </p>

<p>Good luck to everyone!</p>

<p>Liz, just be thankful that you didn't get rejected from your 2 BEST auditions. Then you would be in trouble! I'm sure you'll get in somewhere, everything always works out for the best</p>

<p>The mail just came...no letters...so I can exhale (and inhale in turn, repeatedly, the rest of the weekend). GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.</p>

<p>Has anyone received letters from the Feb 16 UArts audition? D seems to think it will be the first of April but I don't remember them stating that at the audition. She is still waiting on 4 and this is so tough!!</p>

<p>tltl- D. auditioned for UArts in Chicago (Feb. 4) and we have not heard a word. UArts rep. told D. she would hear in a month. She is a transfer student so she may receive her letter at a later date??</p>

<p>We are waiting for 7 more and the waiting is torture! </p>

<p>GOOD LUCK TO ALL!!</p>

<p>tltl - UArts is kind of semi-rolling. Some students hear within about 2 weeks of auditioning and some later. The fact that you have not heard yet should be viewed as encouraging. If they had concluded based on the audition that they didn't want your daughter, she would have heard within 2 weeks. The fact that she hasn't heard means she is under consideration, which is a good thing. I don't know what the time frame is for notifying transfers.</p>

<p>Michael, Thanks for the encouragement. She is a transfer and UArts emailed her several times regarding the school informatin where she is now so we took that as a positive too! She LOVES UArts and felt her audition went very well. She is really keeping her fingers crossed on getting in!!</p>

<p>I got my UArts audition letter tonight. I thought that that was my best audition too.</p>

<p>Oh well, now my next school can send me some snail-mail!</p>

<p>CONGRATS Freedom!!!! I know you are thrilled!!! D is keeping her fingers crossed!</p>

<p>Oh, I guess I didn't word that right. I was rejected :P</p>