Common App Essay advice?

<p>What's up guys.
Happy New Year.</p>

<p>Um, I would like to receive any help from you.
I've been working with a very smart dude in my common app essay, but I would like to receive any advice about my essay.
He hasn't make any more corrections, but I want you to see if I still need to improve it.
Here it is. Please, ANY advice is acceptable. I just have one week to turn in this essay.</p>

<p>Prompt: "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Bullying is a serious problem. Although many people do not see it as a big deal, bullying is in fact a type of terrorism that is present at all schools. In my opinion, the basis of bullying is a narrow mind. The bullies like to find differences in people and then categorize these differences as bad. </p>

<p>I went to an all-male Catholic school. According to some studies, the atmosphere in these schools increases the odds of bullying. Sadly, I can support that.
Apparently, I was not good-looking. Because of this, older kids loved to tease and bother me. First, it was my ears. They began calling me names, like “Mickey Mouse” or “Satellite Ears”; the most common was “Dumbo”. Every time an older kid felt the need to bother me, he yelled out: “Here comes Dumbo!” He would then, with other kids, grab me by the ears and drive me around the playground, saying: “Come on! Fly!” I remember that everyone stared at me, laughing, and some others looked at me abjectly.
As time passed, the kids who liked to bother me began to leave to universities. Unfortunately, there were more bullies than just them. Now I wasn’t bothered because of my ears. People now said that I was disgustingly ugly. They brought a new set of nicknames for me, including “Shrek”, “Troll”, and their favorite, “Hagrid”.
Every time they found me, they screamed at me “Hey, what’s up Hagrid?” and everyone again stared, laughing. The tritest question they asked me was: “Does it hurt to be ugly?”
I didn’t answer. I just stayed quiet, eager to hear the bell ring. I was so scared that during many of the breaks and lunch times I hid in the chapel. I ate there and then prayed to God for the bullying to stop.</p>

<p>Surprisingly, I never thought of revenge, nor did I feel any negative feelings towards them. I was only scared. I know that I should have notified a professor, but I did not do it because, like in all high schools, anyone who notifies a professor is considered a cowardly loser. That was a huge mistake; I should have notified a professor.
The bullying changed my perception and that experience made me a more naïve and ingenuous person. I began to dislike any critical flaw and I tried to never criticize anyone. And what I wanted the most was to support other kids who were in my position. Sadly I wasn’t brave enough to defend them against bullies, but there were times I spoke to these kids and told them to ignore the bullies and to immediately notify a professor, regardless of what other kids might think of them. It’s useless to do nothing just because other kids might mock you for notifying a professor. A professor should always be notified when you are being bullied.</p>

<p>Since those days, I have been trying to seek equality in every place. I have a good testimony that will help me achieve that, and hopefully I could help with the eradication of bullying.</p>

<p>Anyone wants to help me? :(</p>

<p>Have a mod delete this and send you essay to me, I’ll check it out.</p>

<p>Okay. Delete this thread, anyone…</p>