<p>Compelling sounds of bass always make my heart beat. When I first entered the school Jazz Band, I was ignorant of the genre, Jazz. Understandably, I was only a reserve player to whom only one out of three tunes was assigned; however, my self-assurance and love for music never deserted me. I always practiced and waited for an opportunity. Eventually, the chance came to me during the season. Our band's starting bassist could not attend the show, and the band needed a bassist urgently. I also was nervous watching the band director in dither and imagining the band without the bass, foundation of the band sound. Just at the moment, I stepped up. I decided to perform all three tunes on stage. Fortunately, show was successful, and I became the only bassist of the band ever since. Bass taught me the importance of step up and confidence. I stepped up and achieved recognition as a bassist. Through bass and music, I could develop myself, and find my spirit. Sound of bass still make my heart beat.</p>
<p>I can definitely tell how much you love music from this (:
However, you had some grammar and structural errors. Here are a few quick ones:</p>
<p>First off, is the actual name of the group “Jazz Band”? If not, that should not be capitalized. The second half of the sentence should also read “I was ignorant of the genre of jazz.”
Instead of “I always practiced” make it closer to “I practiced every day” or something.
you need a ‘the’ → “without the bass, the foundation of the band sound.”
Instead of “Just at the moment,” try “At just the right moment” or something similar.
You need a ‘the’ → “Fortunately, the show was successful”
You need a ‘the’ → “The bass has taught me the importance”
You need a ‘the’ → “The sound of a bass still makes my heart beat.”</p>
<p>This is an excellent concept for an essay and shows a lot about your willing and determined character, but try to make your sentences flow more. Pretend this essay is a story you’re telling to a teacher you really like. Speak your essay out loud, pausing to re-word or correct anything that doesn’t sound right to you. You’re on a great track, good luck with the applications! :D</p>
<p>A good start but still needs work. I would reconsider the word ignorant. Pick a better word that conveys your understanding of jazz music, such as novice, new, etc. Don’t be afraid of the short word that means the same thing as the long word. Usually it is more effective. </p>
<p>These sentences are very awkward: " I also was nervous watching the band director in dither and imagining the band without the bass, foundation of the band sound. Just at the moment, I stepped up."</p>
<p>Consider something along the lines of: “It made me as well as the band director nervous imagining the band without the bass–the foundation of the band sound. I stepped up to the challenge.”</p>