<p>The only real restriction we put on our sons was that EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL on the final list had to be one that they would be willing to attend if that school’s financial package was the best (by a lot–if it ended up that the safety was the cheapest but your favorite was within a few thousand dollars, that was OK.) Don’t apply to a safety school where you are fairly confident that you will get a significant merit package and then tell us later that you hated it from the minute you set foot on the campus and you would never, ever want to go there. Only apply to schools that you would be happy attending. For my older son, he ended up choosing our state flagship because it was by far the least expensive option – even though he was accepted to his first-choice school (which didn’t give him any money at all). And he was OK with that because he went into the application process knowing that the state school might be the most affordable option. For my younger son, he ended up mulling over 6 excellent choices, all of which were fairly comparable in price because of significant merit aid (he’s a way better student than his older brother). In fact, he had a terrible time making his final choice because he absolutely loved the two colleges he ended up narrowing it down to. That’s a great spot to be in–there’s really no wrong choice in that scenario! He DID apply to our state flagship even though he really didn’t want to go there because he also is very fiscally responsible, but as things turned out he ended up with better deals from other schools–including other state universities Go figure. </p>
<p>Also, we told them that if they wanted to apply to schools that were far away, they should be aware of the fact that they would not be coming home every other weekend. They would have to stay at school until at least Thanksgiving or maybe even Christmas, depending on just how far away it was and how the vacation breaks fell. So if the thought of that was distressing in any way, don’t bother to apply. That wasn’t a restriction–that was a stark fact to consider. You can apply, but know what the travel arrangements will be. My older son, who had at first put schools as far away as Texas on his list (we live in New England), began trimming his list to be closer and closer to home as time went on. I think the furthest one to which he eventually applied was 6 hours away in a city that was very accessible by car, plane and train. And then he ended up an hour away from home, and he came home a lot that first year. He apparently knew himself well enough to know that’s what he needed–a gradual transition. Because after that first year, he decided to transfer to a school farther away that better met his desires (he decided he wants a career in the military, so he transferred to a military institute.) My younger son was less hesitant about such a thought, and applied to schools all over the country–including California. (My husband and I were secretly thrilled when he didn’t get accepted to that one because we knew that WE would miss him, even if he didn’t miss us!!) </p>
<p>And also–I guess this one was another “recommendation” rather than a “restriction.” Because I changed my major three times during my college career and was still able to stay at the same school and graduate within 4 years, I advised them both to seriously consider larger schools with a lot of majors to avoid the messy business of transferring if they changed their minds. (Not that it ended up helping my older son, but these things still happen…) However, that was just a suggestion. Both of them ended up applying to large universities and smaller colleges in the end. </p>
<p>@Hunt–your comment made me LOL. Because when we were touring schools with our youngest son, my husband and I were thrilled that he wanted to look at our alma mater (Boston Univ.). We toured the school and then toured Northeastern (one of our alma mater’s sports rival–especially in hockey). And of course, our son really liked…well, not B.U. My husand and I kept smiles on our faces and offered positive comments–but later on my husband leaned over and mumbled to me, “Dear God, I really don’t think I can cheer for Northeastern in the Beanpot!!” Luckily, our son decided not to apply to Northeastern in the end because it doesn’t have the major he was seeking, so the Beanpot crisis was averted. Whew. ; ) </p>
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