Common versus uncommon parental restrictions on college choices

<p>Some unusual restrictions found in other threads:</p>

<p><a href=“Colleges where a 31 ACT/33 superscore will get decent merit scholarship - #7 by Snax03 - College Search & Selection - College Confidential Forums”>Colleges where a 31 ACT/33 superscore will get decent merit scholarship - #7 by Snax03 - College Search & Selection - College Confidential Forums; (parents will pay for one year at any price up to $45,000, but not other years except that they may consider it if the yearly price is under $10,000)</p>

<p><a href=“How much responsibility do parents have for helping pay for college? - #74 by Mysonsdad - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>How much responsibility do parents have for helping pay for college? - #74 by Mysonsdad - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums; (parents will pay full cost for an Ivy League school, but otherwise will only pay to start at a community college)</p>

<p>My kid has an obsession with NYC since 9th grade. She wants to apply to NYU, that is the only school she was told specific not to apply. It’s an overprice institution as far as I’m concerned.
For the rest of the schools that she originally wanted, they were not good fit for her, she is a kid that does not like to write too much, why would she apply to Brown, Columbia, and Chicago. They are all cool schools to her but what does that really mean? So those schools were not on her final list. She also liked Caltech but that was not a good fit for her either just because I her not so genius friend got in and she thought she had a chance. So that was not on the final list either. She was also told not to apply to Aerospace Engineering, it was a very restrictive major even though she thought it was cool major, one doesn’t need to major in Aerospace engineering to work in Aerospace. So in the end, I added a sanity check for her major and her final list.</p>

<p>Well, Brown has no general requirements, so she actually wouldn’t have had to take any courses that require a ton of writing if she had gone there.</p>

<p>Also, if she doesn’t like to write, maybe forcing her to write would have been a good idea.</p>

<p>My dad is taking me on a college road trip this summer to the east coast. We are only really looking at top tier/hard to get in to schools. I mentioned that maybe we should visit some schools that I consider safe schools. His reply was, “Why would you go across the country to attend a “safe” school? Why not just go to those schools closer to home?” (A.k.a: California or Washington).
I guess another restriction is no party schools.</p>

<p>@PurpleTitan, yeah that was before college. She has since talked to Facebook Employee #1, he did sort of mention to her class that they should learn how to write because it’s also important in high-tech, I think she did finally pay attention to her writing class.</p>

<p>^Belizeme: because they may be cheaper (depending on your EFC and where you apply). Since you come from far away, you bring geographic diversity with you and that has a value (some schools will give you preferential packaging.)</p>

<ol>
<li>Nothing geographically near your mother or her extended family.</li>
<li>Apply anywhere else, but be realistic about your odds - don’t set your heart on a school that’s a longshot for everybody (Stanford, Cal Tech, etc.).</li>
<li>Don’t sell yourself short. One surefire safety, two to four matches, any of which you would be happy attending, and then go ahead and apply to a variety of longshots (where you at least pass the laugh test). Something could hit just right. </li>
<li>Cost is a consideration. It’s not the be-all and end-all, but it cannot be ignored, either.
4a. You don’t know what a school will actually cost until you see their FA offer.</li>
<li>Spend at least your first year living on campus in the dorms.</li>
</ol>

<p>After that comes advice…
a) avoid schools that have a reputation as being too obsessed with anything, be it football, protesting, whatever.
b) avoid schools that have more grad students than undergrads. Who is the school there for?
c) you probably won’t be comfortable in the super-large (>30k students) schools, regardless.
d) consider whether you expect to go on to grad school.
e) it’d be nice if you can come home for the holidays without needing to fly commercial.
f) setting has a lot to do with whether you’ll like a school, and you’d better like it if you’re there for four years. Look at climate, nearby entertainment/shopping/culture, cost of living, politics, public transportation, etc.</p>

<p>My kids have known since birth that Duke was off-limits (ACC Basketball thing)</p>

<p>Funny you should mention that. UNC isn’t off limits here, but I’ve warned the kids that it could make Thanksgiving dinner hell. </p>

<p>The college counseling office at DS boarding school follows this policy: three reaches, three matches, three safeties and your state flagship, ten apps in all. We’ve added “anywhere but Ohio State.” Go Blue!</p>

<p>I haven’t made Duke off limits, but the children know better.</p>

<p>A few people have stated that they will do anything and everything to pay for an expensive education because they “value education”. Well, my spouse and I value education very highly, but we also value financial security. We have saved for the children’s education since birth and have not spent extravagantly. We don’t have pay TV, we drive our cars until they break down, we shop at thrift stores, etc. However, we are also saving for our retirement and we are not going to go into debt to pay for private universities when there are just as good and better public university options available in our state.</p>

<p>Our children knew that the set amount we would pay would cover any of our public universities or would cover part of the expense of a private university. However, any costs above that amount would have to be paid from scholarship money.</p>

<p>We have not restricted their majors. Art, engineering, psychology, math – they are all fine with us. However, we would withdraw college tuition support for any child who was breaking the law (including underage drinking) or making bad grades without extenuating circumstances such as physical or mental illness.</p>

<p>Rising hs senior here. My parents had no restrictions whatsoever. I took the lead when looking at colleges, starting from an early age (7th grade?). I looked at Ivies initially before realizing that I probably wouldn’t enjoy the atmosphere of an Ivy, looked at small lacs, big private universities, state schools, everything. </p>

<p>The only restriction that existed was an unspoken one - I knew without needing anything said that my parents would not be able to contribute financially. That made me start looking at schools that awarded either very good need based aid or merit aid. </p>

<p>Thankfully though, I fell in love with a great school that will be a financial blessing to attend :)</p>

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<p>Does the high school allow the student to apply to additional schools which do not require support from the high school (recommendations, transcripts) at application time? For example, if someone from California wanted to send applications to multiple UC and/or CSU campuses, in addition to the ten specified applications, would that be allowed?</p>

<p>At our school, UC’s count as one.</p>

<p>Not that ucbalumnus implied that, but the reason the school imposes a limit is nor counselot workload, but to force the student (and parents) to partner with the college counselling team to find a “fit” for the student, and to have a clear path, and to ensure that there is not a lack of focus which will come out in essays. ChoatieKid and I are luckier than most to have this resource available.</p>

<p>^^^Don’t see how they could stop them, but each student’s college list is very carefully crafted with deep knowledge of that student’s goals and abilities. Most kids don’t want to apply to that many but some circumstances will warrant a few more. The process is about finding the best match for the student and ensuring good choices, not about enforcing arbitrary rules. The school has been in this business a long time and knows that its students will have fine outcomes based on quality rather than quantity in the app process.</p>

<p>That really implies a limit of 6-7 applications that require essays (3 reach, 3 match, and maybe the state flagship), since the 3 safeties are presumably automatic admission or scholarship for stats schools (and the state flagship may or may not require essays).</p>

<p>But are 3 safeties necessary? What if the student’s first choice is a safety?</p>

<p>All ten of ChoatieKid’s apps will require essays. Don’t know about anyone else’s.</p>

<p>9 of my 10 of mine require essays.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>The counseling process is very personal and appropriately tailored to each student. If only one application were necessary, then I’m sure all involved would be happy to be done so easily. Most of the “safeties” on these kid’s lists are not in the auto-admit category, but rather the type where, among three, it would be highly unlikely not to be admitted to at least one of them. For ChoatieKid, this means that his stats and profile put him in the upper 25% of applicants for each of those three schools and Naviance shows above 90% acceptance rate for comparable applicants to those colleges from his high school.</p>

<p>(sorry for getting off-topic)</p>

<p>Ok, that makes sense, though “almost-safety” is a better term to describe the 90-99% chance schools than “safety” is. A student who does not like any automatic admission or scholarship schools would need to apply to multiple “almost-safeties” to minimize the risk of a shutout.</p>

<p>But be careful of Naviance plots if the college is divided into divisions with different selectivity (e.g. arts & sciences versus engineering versus business, etc.).</p>