The GC should have known that Columbia and Chicago weren’t even realistic reaches for this student. But maybe the GC looked at the list and said, No way for Chicago and Columbia, 50/50 for UIUC, sure thing for Denver, and felt that was good enough. The GC can’t know that the family can’t afford Denver, and it was a plausible safety if she liked it and could afford it.
I think that this is just something that will take time to get over. it’s natural to be devastated in the aftermath of a bad round of admissions results. I think once the shock and frustration wears off the family will be able to pick themselves up metaphorically speaking and move on to other solutions.
A lot of people have this idea of a perfect meritocracy where every student who works hard and does reasonably well can go wherever they want and it’s not really that way. Coming to terms with that can be painful, similar to the pain of a college graduate who can’t find a job in his field after graduating with a 4.0 from a prestigious university. It’s reasonable to take some time to lick your wounds. The real test is moving on from that stage.
@panpacific, but why the passivity now?
After this setback, would it be a responsible response to say “she’s 18 now; she should deal with it”?
Instead of railing against others, why not formulate a plan for going forward? Either look in to the UIUC Engineering Pathways via CC (if engineering is the goal) or planning an admissions strategy during a gap year.
Thumbs up.
Key phrase: “wherever they want.” That is, what is ignored in the whole annual CC rant about “fairness” and “disappointment” and “hard work” is the undeniable FACT that this country offers far more opportunity to excel and succeed than does any other country on the face of the planet. Absolutely no hard worker is locked out of an education, a career, a future, whether that person earned a 3.75 in high school, a 4.75 weighted, a 3.0, or even an F. An F student can earn a GED, then proceed on to community college & after that, a 4-year college. Anyone who has so much as graduated from high school with rotten grades can enter community college and transfer in to very fine state universities. That in turn could enable a student to become eventually a wealthy business owner. There have been people in the last 15 years in this country who have been homeless before a successful 4-year education, graduation, and entry in the world of work. My own state’s university system makes sure to include returning military personnel from conflicts in the Middle East as transfer-in applicants.
There are far more spaces for “hard workers” in higher education than there are takers, frankly. Or are only 10 schools considered those which qualify as “results”?
But being “a hard worker” qualifies no one to go
Well, I have actually read this whole thread. Not sure why, but I did. Slow day here.
I would first like to say that hard work in high school is never wasted. It builds character if done for the right reason (learning, not just admissions prize) and the competency gained through studies will never be lost. I mean that. I am still inspired by an English and French class in high school, and my eccentric physics teacher who talked about the beauty of the universe. Lostparent, perhaps you will feel better if you sit down with your daughter and find out what learning experiences really affected your daughter, regardless of grades or colleges.
Second, it is too bad that so many of us parents think (before we learn better) that good grades and scores- even great grades and scores- are not what gets you into selective schools. Schools like Columbia and U. of Chicago are looking for interesting kids with passionate interests. They are most of all looking to assemble a class, so it is all about what you can contribute to that mix. Many with 800’s and high GPA’s don’t make it in. A kid who does community theater all year, or who is immersed in photography, or who volunteers in the ER, are examples of the kinds of kids who appeal. I am not even talking about major prize-winning, trophy-winning pursuits. just genuine interests in things that are authentic and not geared to admissions. It also helps to be a nice person: character counts. I am not saying your daughter doesn’t have these qualities, but perhaps they were not evident.
If I were you, I would help her financially while she does something interesting this year. I know several kids- not rich- who went to orphanages in South America and then got into schools. I know one who danced in a company after skipping two years of high school and getting a GED- got into all her choices. I know a kid who suffered depression and in a gap year did National Outdoor Leadership School and got in to 6 schools.
At this point, it would be worth investing in your daughter’s future by supporting some sort of interest or adventure.
Or, she could do community college and then transfer (one of mine did that, two of mine went to Ivies, and they are all equally happy and purposeful).
I do want to say one thing. You mentioned that she doesn’t have a police record or mental illness. I forget the actual words. I just want you to know that many kids with mental illness, my own included, end up at great schools. Disorders like bipolar are associated with brilliant creativity, just what top colleges are looking for. I think you need to be a little more sensitive on this kind of topic.
Finally, here is a list of test-optional schools, many of them top schools in the nation: http://fairtest.org/university/optional Sometimes scores are required for merit though. A 30 is fine, but if she is not willing to retest and wants a top school, going test-optional is a possibility.
Loren Pope’s books are great resources. “Colleges that Change Lives” is a book, website, and national fairs.
His other book is a favorite of mine: “Looking Beyond the Ivy League”- great, if older, info on many schools.
Look up Berea in Kentucky- no tuition I believe. Olin in Needham used to have no tuition and may still be low cost, as prestigious as MIT for engineering, project based, small and personal.
There are so many options. Choose them carefully. YOU parents are absolutely essential here for guidance and research and yes, money.
Some of us have kids who have had bumpy roads and they are thriving. I believe parental positivity is essential. I don’t understand your anger, honestly, but it might help to figure it out yourself. It may have to do with your own aspirations or disappointments in life. I don’t mean to be disrespectful. But things will be fine, they really will. Don’t be “lostparent”, be “hopefulparent” or “energeticrefusetogiveup parent.”
And we will help you. Or your daughter if she comes on herself.
@PurpleTitan: Are you addressing my post or someone else’?
Have not read through all other comments yet, after OP came back and responded that her D wants a school that is not “in the middle of nowhere” and urban. Also, OP wants the total COA to be 20k or less?
OP, I am also in IL and have been helping my own D.
Look into, either now, or for next year -
IL State - in Normal IL, which is a very nice small town with many amenities for college students. With her grades and ACT score, she would not even pay full price there, according to their website and scholarship page.
Also:
U of Missouri - Columbia, MO (huge college, big college town, MSEP rate)
U of WI-La Crosse (MSEP rate)
U of WI-Eau Claire ^^
Ball State U., Muncie IN ^^
U of Nebraska-Lincoln
Also, Western Illinois or SIU-Carbondale.
Look, with your financial parameters in place, if those are fixed, then your D simply is not in a position to be that picky about location. Although Normal IL, Columbia MO, Muncie, and La Crosse are all nice enough towns for a college student. Actually, I’ve heard great things about Columbia - also Lincoln Nebraska.
Look at the Midwest Student Exchange Program website.
Have your D look into any of those schools that have the programs she is interested in, that would accept her (I think they all would, honestly, with her scores) and that you can afford.
Again, if 20k is going to be the total cost of attendance, and you are not taking out loans, then she needs to lower her expectations of location and prestige. She will still get a degree and an education, though.
@panpacific, directed to the OP, building off your response.
I’d make her go through a gap year so she could apply with a stronger app and perhaps even get into schools like U. Chicago. Also, perhaps look more closely into colleges to apply to second round, such as true safeties and automatic full rides.
During gap year, probably work, volunteer but don’t waste it
So @lostparent, what’s the game plan? Lots of great advice here so let us know what will be your family’s next steps.
A couple of previous posts mentioned Miami of Ohio. We looked into that, too, and it seems your D would get merit aid and it has a very good academic reputation in the Midwest.
Sorry for the multiple posts, but I just read through the entire thread. So, the OP’s D wants Engineering… Ok, disregard some of the schools I listed above, sorry.
Look into:
Iowa State
U of Wisconsin-Stout
SIU-Carbondale
SIU-Edwardsville
Also, I strongly encourage you to check out the MSEP website for affordable out of state schools!!
There will be others on that site that I haven’t listed, because we are looking for more LAS oriented schools for my own D.
But check out the schools on the MSEP list, and see fi they offer Engineering.
What would be the point in getting accepted at U of Chicago if the family cannot afford to pay their family contribution?
The family needs to look at schools that are both affordable (with merit aid, perhaps) and where this student has a decent probability of acceptance.
Financial concerns and reach schools aside, I’m still scratching my head and trying to figure out why a student interested in studying engineering would be applying to a school such as the University of Chicago, especially as one of only four schools.
Did I miss something?
Could be because of the location. Chicago is in their home state so easy to travel to.
Could you pay for Denver for one year, with the idea that she would transfer after freshman year?
@
Your daughter had a fine ACT score. The issue was that the college’s she applied to did not along with either your finances, or her SAT score. As noted, engineering is an impacted major at UIUC. But there are TONS of other schools which offer engineering as a major…and some where she cold have gotten merit aid. And many many where she would have been accepted.
These four schools were not the right four schools. U of Denver…too expensive. Chicago and Columbia…huge reaches…but they are reaches for most students. And UIUC, while affordable, had an impacted mjor in the application, making admission not a slam dunk.
All these schools were not the right schools.
@thumper1 - UIUC is not affordable for this family. OP has said that they can spend about $20K per year; UIUC engineering is about $35k COA for instate.
Oh I totally agree UIUC is not affordable, but then…neither were any of the other schools…because getting accepted at the two really generous ones was not likely.
Re: Post #255 - A year at DU would not be a good option for the OP’s daughter, because she is far less likely to qualify for any merit aid as a transfer than she would be as a freshman.