For most kids, I would agree with you that the student seemed disinterested.
But this kid was at boarding school. The very fact that she was away at school and therefore had limited contact with her parents could have been the main impediment. And the parents might have assumed (incorrectly, as it turns out) that the school would handle everything.
I think the fact that the OP seems to have abandoned the thread tells us most of what we need to know. A lot of great advice has been given- I don’t think it is going to help the issue
I think it’s time to close the thread. May OP is too embarrassed from complaining.
Threads don’t have to be closed. Just stop posting to it. 
Wow- finally read -the entire thread (skimmed many posts). A lot of good advice from various parents here. Good thread for other parents to learn from.
OP- your D’s life is not over. You learned an expensive and harsh lesson- to the tune of $5000 per year thinking a boarding school was the answer. Many kids do just as well going to the public schools in this part of the country- getting into top schools and getting excellent educations. Too late to change that. Let it be a warning to other parents that just because a school is private/boarding or not doesn’t mean you can let go and assume everything you would otherwise do is taken care of.
Your D has average credentials for flagships in the Big Ten. Colleges pay attention only to unweighted gpa’s- she would not have improved her chances if her school weighted grades (UW-Madison only uses unweighted grades- and choose academic courses- never found out which courses do/do not count as “academic”). There are too many students with similar credentials to accommodate in the elite public and private universities- it is no wonder a student with her numbers did not get into your flagship based on what I have seen in the state to the north (and whose students apply to the Minn flagship with reciprocity as well). Schools also tend to regard how well a student does with what is available- students with lesser offerings will not be penalized because their school can’t compete with some. But- who knows- your D may have better test scores because of the school she attended than if she were at her local public school.
Prepping a lot more may/may not make the difference in test scores. Some students perform exceptionally well without prep because of native ability and the years of classroom preparation that forms their knowledge and skills base.
So- your D is legally an adult now and you will abandon her? Just because children reach a society declared age of majority (it was 21 for my generation, btw, until it changed magically to 18- well, the political arguments of the Vietnam War era had a huge impact) doesn’t mean they don’t need parental guidance. And love. And caring. And…
Okay, so you/she/the school blew it with the college list. Too late to change the past. Placing blame is not helpful either. You’ve vented. Now get on the right track. Pay attention to all sorts of wonderful advice about moving forward. You have an above average daughter who is among thousands of bright college material students. She will choose her path herself but you still can influence her- positively or negatively.
New square one. Learn what is going on in your D’s head (missed since she was gone most of the last four years). Be neutral. Find out what interests her, scares her and so forth. Maturity is not an instant turned 18 thing. It is an ongoing process.
Her hard work has paid off. She has a solid knowledge base to succeed in a college. She will have an extra year to figure out a realistic plan for her. Your help - especially your support- will be useful.
I did some of my own venting in the above.
Maybe @lostparent hasn’t replied because he is on college visits to some of the suggested schools.
The student’s application list in this day and age was too short; but more importantly, the list seemed to include schools that were financially prohibitive or were super-competitive. U Iowa has large percentage of students from Illinois because of lesser cost and has it the bonus of being a nice distance from home in Illinois. There are also good private schools in Iowa, such as those in Dubuque which is a lovely area on the borders of Iowa, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Bryant Gumble, however his surname his spelled, has done nicely after earning a degree from a Catholic college there. I know there are some academically sorry schools out there, but Alabama sure isn’t one of them. Then there is the frog thing. There are good schools that aren’t on elite lists. but are strong academically. You may find that some of these, often private, will rain money on a good student. There may be the option of attending school as a commuter student. I wouldn’t have your daughter wait a year and get a job because she may get out of her school mindset and would potentially undermine her confidence after this difficult application season+. The University of Denver is a wonderful school and it’s in Denver!!! As a Denver native, I would have gone there in my second heart beat.
What is ‘the frog thing’?
@zannah, University of Denver was far too expensive, even with the financial aid/scholarship they offered.
The OP is long gone!
Regardless of OP’s interest in the thread, perhaps it will be useful to some parent as a cautionary tale.
I wonder what’s going to happen to the OP’s child, not that we’ll ever find out.
The frog thing__It;s better to be a big frog in a small pond than a small frog in a big pond. When I chose my college I had the opportunity to go many places with great scholarship offers. I chose instead a small Catholic liberal arts college (pricier than Yale for tuition, room and board, etc) with an excellent regional academic reputation.
Ultimately, I had opportunities for all sorts classes and majors, options for independent projects and study, could take and manage more classes per term so I could explore personal interests, no room and board charged so I could live on campus for health reasons (see PE and typing), and significantly reduced tuition. My high school gpa was about 3.6 after I flunked PE and typing. getting me pitched from honor society. I was a big academic frog who also volunteered work on community and church projects and had lots of friends. Plus. individual kindness and support such as the sister who helped me when I found vomiting on the podium my only success in speech.
When I was looking at graduate school from a no name college, there were concerns expressed, especially for my first choice.Yet, I immediately entered a doctoral program, highest rated in my field, with a fellowship for the full ride. Life as the big frog was fun–I was socially active, involved in volunteer activities and governance, had a great summer internship, helped me overcome or conceal nerves, plus–and cheap. My high school class had other big frogs.
Like others have said, college is what you make of it and not so much where you go (as long as a good school). Luck helps, too. I had chosen my college in fourth grade because the admin building looked like a castle and my graduate school when its catalog with the page opened on at my field fell on my foot while I was dusting shelves–.had a campus jobs that helped with books and…
Please understand I know I was very fortunate. But I truly think it is crazy to think ACT ruined my life, or I can’t get motivated because I wasn’t admitted to a top-tier school, or standardized tests are overwhelming and so on, or the money wasn’t good enough which is certainly real.
If I had more far-ranging plans, I would have looked at Colby, Carleton in MN, the private schools in Debuque, anyplace that was Jesuit, Colorado College, and other great small schools around the country. What about state colleges and universities some of which are relatively cheap to regional or national costs? Oh, and many have wonderful medical schools and colleges of law whose students graduated from many more places than the elites.
College should bring you learning and joy, not angst from competing with other frogs in their elite ponds. c