<p>@ChoatieMom: Drake and Common are two rappers. And truthfully, not the worst of the bunch. I think “swagg” is actually shorthand for “swagga”:</p>
<p>[Urban</a> Dictionary: swagg](<a href=“http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swagg]Urban”>Urban Dictionary: swagg)</p>
<p>@ CM -while you may not be familiar with specific phrases/names, the irony couldn’t possibly be lost on you…Could it?</p>
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<p>OMG - I’m so laughing over this one. It’s so true! It’s bad among some girls too. My daughter got tired of people treating her like she was one of the “Flavor Of Love” girls especially since she’s a classical languages geek.</p>
<p>I’ve got a small tip for a specific situation that arises with girls–particualrly freshmen.</p>
<p>There will be days when someone declares “let’s all wear our Lily Pulitzer dresses tomorrow!” (or whatever–I’m not savvy enough with the fancy brand names). Suddenly, your non-conformist free-thinking daughter, away from home and family, will just really want to be able to shrug and put on a hideous green and pink print dress and blend in with the herd for a few hours, and she won’t be able to. Or it’s the fact that 70% of the girls in the class are wearing the exact same pair of shoes (this happened in my freshman section this year). If she knows that day is coming, it may be easier to face when it arises. if she smiles and announces “I don’t have that! Does someone have an extra I can borrow?” it’s a lot easier than bearing it in silence. Put it back on the kids who are making the rules: she’d love to play along, but needs their help. There’s a long, tough period in the beginning when many of the kids (rich, poor and in-between) are faced with having to live with kids of different economic classes for the first time. I think it’s important to let your kids know that the rich kids declaring brand holidays probably aren’t trying to be snobby or exclude anyone–they just don’t realize that stuff they think is common isn’t common to everyone. </p>
<p>But even though I agree with everyone who said to talk with your children about your family’s values about money and what to spend it on…
I’d also scour the GoodWill in a rich town to find a pair of Sperrys, Hunter rain boots or a polo shirt with the right logo–because most of the time she won’t care, but if the day comes that she ever just wants to wear the uniform for once, it’s nice to have a way to do it that doesn’t kill the family values or budget. This advice was given to me by a student who almost never wore the Ralph Lauren loafers her mom found at the Salvation Army, but smiled every time she saw them in her closet because she knew she could choose to wear them and be invisible if she needed to, but was prouder of herself for being herself.</p>
<p>From what I’ve noticed, boys also have some brand awareness, but they don’t declare brand-specific outfit days, so it is easier for them to dodge this particular hardship.</p>
<p>Albion, brand-specific outfit days? I don’t think my daughter’s ever encountered them. Does this vary by school?</p>
<p>Of course it does. It’s not as if any of this is school-sanctioned, either; it’s just that girls on the hall of a certain dorm will declare it so. Or it will be spirit week, and to show “dorm unity” they declare a uniform. It probably happens more at smaller schools, or in certain dorms, or in certain years because of who the girls are that year. Maybe it never crops up at all in the All-Hallowed Top Ten Boarding Schools. I just thought I’d add a small piece to the discussion on the economic divide which I thought was being a little too easily dismissed by some posters (whom I perhaps unfairly imagined to be on the fortunate side of the divide, based on how they talked about it). It does exist, and kids who are not rich will feel stung by it or they’ll manage depending on the kinds of discussions their families have had before they get there.</p>
<p>I’ve heard of things such as spirit days, in which everyone wears flannel. Or the last day when anyone’s allowed to wear the rival school’s colors. I do think the cultures can vary significantly at the same school, depending on gender. </p>
<p>I also think that every middle and high school will have preferred types of clothing, at least for the girls. At our public school, Abercrombie & Fitch rules the day. As a teen, my mother did not agree with the current “preppy” fashions. (For the younger set, double polo shirts, with the collars popped out, pink and green colors, a certain type of purse which we called a “bermuda bag.”) Not being able to blend in is…difficult.</p>
<p>Brand specific day? Never heard of it, but ugh, just total ugh. This is all valuable information though, for parents researching schools. Try to get a feel for the school’s culture! Don’t let your child end up in a situation like the one described by the student on another thread, who is unhappy at her new school.</p>
<p>My 3 kids all went to prep school with the ultra rich . It all worked out fine . As my kids didn’t have their own cars , their friends would take turns picking them up . It all worked out fine .</p>
<p>Another thing I thought I thought of - really rich kids never went after things they lost that went to the lost and found .The day before the stuff was to be donated , my D would go through and get some great stuff for herself . Sometimes the girls would ask her if she wanted an article of clothing that they were getting rid of and we would never spend the money for .</p>
<p>I’m with Albion on the “having one or two quality/name brand pieces can make a big difference” thing. While we’re not a big “wear recognizable brands” family, we all have Hunter rainboots…pricey but practical, and well built.</p>
<p>I will say “dumpster diving” is still one of the all time joys at boarding school. My D was both giddy and appalled at all the designer label things that were being left behind (many still with tags or in original boxes) because the owners didn’t want to haul them home. It’s a perk- :)</p>
<p>Like Periwinkle, I also grew up in a preppy town with a mother who didn’t believe in paying extra for brand names…and it meant instant marginalization. So I do try to find sneaky low cost ways to get my kids clothes that will allow them to blend in if they need to. It’s a challenge for me because I’m so out of the loop these days that I don’t even know what those labels are. Fortunately, I’ve got boys…it doesn’t seem to be a big deal at this point, one way or another, at least yet. Still, what are the preppy boy brands? I was assuming Ralph Lauren, J. Crew, L.L. Bean–but Hunter boots were a new one on me. Is that a boy thing too?</p>
<p>Hunter wellington boots are more of a girl thing…I have more of a muck boot version.</p>
<p>When I was in HS, the 10" Bean boot was the inclement footwear of choice.</p>
<p>Hunter is the " Coach " of rain boots .</p>
<p>Just looked preppy up on urban dictionary, and…crack me up…how can kids possibly be wearing the same stuff we were wearing 30 years ago? </p>
<p>7dad–with unerring instinct (who knew? 
), I bought my kid those exact boots over Parent’s Week-end. Back in the day, I had the shorter, over the ankle version since I headed south for college.</p>
<p>My D attends a school known to attract the super rich and famous. The thing our family learned about all the flashy rich show offs, parents and kids, is that the less one shows, the classier one is. I feel more comfortable wearing the same handbag that is older than my kids but stays in classic style than to wear the latest fashion every time I visit her school. I’ve raised my D to be the same way but I’m sure she feels she has a lot less than most of her friends. I think it’s a good lesson for her to be well in her own skin and her own clothes for that matter.</p>
<p>I may have to ask her where the lost and found box is next time we visit. :)</p>
<p>Shopping the Lost and Found at semester breaks is a proud tradition among students at every school I’ve taught at!</p>
<p>And when I said “brand specific days” what I meant was a few girls say “let’s all wear our rain boots and leggings and white sweaters tomorrow for fun!” And what they mean is their Hunter Boots and their J Crew sweaters, because what they think is a generic item that “everyone” has is actually more expensive than they realize. It was a freshman/sophomore phenomenon at the last boarding school I worked at, and when I was interviewing at a lot of schools last year I noticed that most schools had small herds of identically dressed kids. Obviously it’s not a universal issue.</p>