<p>I've been practicing for the SAT and write a practice essay could someone grade it please?
Thank you in advance.
Here is the prompt:</p>
<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide ones thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.</p>
<p>Adapted from J. David Velleman, "The Genesis of Shame"</p>
<p>Assignment:
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>
<p>Now here is my response:</p>
<pre><code>I think a person should make more of an effort to keep things private. There is a limit to things that should be said to people outside of your family. A family, however, should be well aware of the things that are happening within its members.
Too many people share things that are not meant to be shared. In some cases, people are more private to their family, then they are to other people. This needs to stop. If other people know more about a person than their own family does, the person will eventually become a stranger to their own family.
On the other hand, I think being less private with family is a great thing. This allows for cooperation and well being of a family. More privacy in a family leads to arguments and misunderstandings. Family will be able to help you with problems if you are less private with them.
People should make more of an effort to keep things private. With social-networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, privacy is becoming non-existent. Instead of having more privacy with family, try making more of an effort to be less private with them.
</code></pre>
<p>i would give this essay a 4, your whole essay is very weak. the intro needs to have s strong thesis statement with two or three sentences to state the examples that are going to support ur side. the family example is very weak. u can use examples from history or literature to have a better body. the conclusion needs to be a restatement of the introduction with ur opinion. u need to improve alot in the essay or u will get very bad in the writing section</p>
<p>If you guys don’t mind, can you please grade my essay and give comments, too? Thank you so much!</p>
<p>The prompt was “Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today?”</p>
<p>Numerous ingredients are essential for the recipe of future success in our society and planet. Among these, the easily most essential quality needed in the status quo is an explosion of creativity. Most dictionaries explain that creativity is the “ability to reason abstractly.” With that said, it is so much more than that. It is not a stretch to claim that creativity is the defining characteristic of intelligence that can make or break success. Without question, creativity is vital now more than ever in the world because it allows people to break down the constructs of routine society while also promising massive technological breakthroughs.</p>
<p>In his classic novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey elucidates how creativity is necessary to fight the restrictions society and the world enforce. Quite simply. he argues through the text that creativity is nothing less than freedom. In the novel, the protagonist McMurphy gets arrested for a small crime and chooses to serve time in a mental asylum rather than a traditional penitentiary. He fails to anticipate that this asylum is run by a power-hungry totalitarian dictator named Nurse Ratched who has cleverly tapped the patients on the ward and removed all their freedom. McMurphy’s massive creative abilities allow him to open up new avenues for the patients to rebel and fight for increased freedom. For example, McMurphy both plans a carnival and a fishing trip to achieve this paradigm shift for how the ward is run. Through both of these creative avenues, McMurphy allows the men to have fun and taste freedom, ultimately leading to the demise of the dictatorship of the nurse. As is clear, it was only through McMurphy’s creativity that the micro-society of the ward was revolutionized and in the same way, creativity is needed in order to fix the fundamental issues with out society.</p>
<p>In addition, Mark Zuckerberg’s creation of Facebook is brilliant proof that creativity is of the highest necessity to cause technological advance. Mark Zuckerberg is a true genius in countless aspects. Importantly, his massive creativity led him to explore revolutionary new ways to connect people on the internet. Years of insight and “messing around” with computer programs in undiscovered realms led him to the idea of creating a social network. In the late 2000s, all this creative exploration came together with the launch of Facebook the revolutionary website that connects individuals across the globe. Indeed, his creativity led to this leap in technology and our world needs creativity to further future technological innovations.</p>
<p>When examining the facets of our world that need to be reinvigorated, creativity is an obviously one. Through breaking down the constructs of traditional society and through the advancement of technology like with Facebook, the importance of creativity is more blatantly clear that is ever has been.</p>