Could someone make my day and tear my Common App essay apart?

<p>I'm looking for a harsh reviewer to critique the first complete draft of my essay. I would like my essay reviewers to not be fellow high school students applying to college this year. So if you give me a brief background of who you are so I can rest easy that my essay is in good hands, that'd be great! Thank you soooo much :)</p>

<p>I’ll read it.</p>

<p>^I got super helpful feedback. Anyone else?</p>

<p>Sure, I’ll read it too</p>

<p>@CHD2013‌ Thank you! :slight_smile: I’m currently revising it, but I’ll send you it soon today.</p>

<p>I’m only a rising senior, so I’ll try my best if you PM me :P.</p>