<p>"i never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may---light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful." --John Constable</p>
<p>"If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference." --Teena Booth</p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT: Is it true that there are no ugly things?</p>
<p>Ugliness is subjective just as beauty. To call something ugly is to question your fundamental perception. As humans there is a varied range of things we find pleasing. As for me I find the city of New York to be an absolutely beautiful mystical urban wonderland.
Like Alice, I drop down the escalators to the subway and am transported to a world of its own. Instanteouslyfashion, behavior, mood, color, life, expression all change. The middle aged women with their worn out Nikes and loose sweats are replaced by glamorous young women perched high on their stilettos. Buildings reach for the heavens. Cars and people color the streets. The smell of roasted peanut fills the air.; --Its breathtaking and beautiful! (But my father doesnt agree)
To him New York Citys an over populated cest pool. He lived there in his 20s and claims it was and still is a cest pool of thugs that want to take an arm and leg for a bottle of water. The rare occasions we drive into New York City he will be found complaining about the traffic every stop light and criticizing the driving skills of other drivers and the walking skills of the pedestrians. It irks him each moment he is there- His bald forehead can be found glistening with sweat from his agitation. I however sit in enthrallment and excitement by everything around us.
As you can see, there are no ugly things but only people with perceptions of ugliness. John Constable once said I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may---light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful.</p>
<p>Logical fallacy? If there are no ugly things in the world, how could something be ugly? The concept of ugly in itself is a perception, and by stating that ugly things do not exist, you imply that nobody can perceive anything as unattractive. </p>
<p>However, I digress. Before I start critiquing though, I would like to mention that I don’t score essays usually, so don’t feel as though I purposefully omitted providing a score out of 12 only for you. I simply find it too arbitrary most of the time, though exceptions to my rule for myself have existed. In addition, I may be a little frank, but please don’t take offense at my words. I try to avoid being blunt but sometimes the plain truth inevitably must be told. Now to my critique:
- You need to write more. Your essay is quite short, and I highly doubt you filled up both pages. Elaborate and connect back to your thesis more. If needed, stick in another example.
- Where is your thesis? I can’t find a clear one in the introduction. Furthermore, the last sentence is completely out of place as it is worded currently. One way to fix these issues would be something like this as the thesis: “The different perspectives of New York City demonstrate that ugliness exists, but only through an individual’s psyche.” It is but one way though.
- You have cool examples, but what on earth do they have to do with your thesis? Be more explicit when you write and connect back to your thesis. Your style includes a lot of description but lacks in argument.
- You write a lot in passive voice and ramble on. Get to the point: You see no ugliness but your dad sees it everywhere. Don’t jump around either because you’ll just confuse the reader. You can benefit from comparisons, but the way you word things currently detracts from the strength of your essay. For example: “His bald forehead can be found glistening with sweat from his agitation. I however sit in enthrallment and excitement by everything around us.” Explain the concept of perception and connect it back to the original thesis. Afterwards, compare yourself to your dad if you still want to or have the time to.
- Never ever directly quote the quotes provided by the prompt in the essay. You can reference to them, but otherwise they are a waste of time and will NOT help you get more points.
- You have some major grammatical issues to deal with. If you can’t find them, try asking an English teacher at your school to help you edit. Don’t be ashamed to because a teacher’s help will benefit you in the future (and I did so as well :))
I fear I ended up being somewhat harsh, but I hoped my pointers helped you!</p>